Before you start to feel like there’s a “problem” with your relationship, ask yourself this question: Why is marriage so important to me?
In my opinion, love and marriage are subjective. Love is not necessarily measured by a piece of paper, signed by the court, and witnessed by family and friends. Marriage is an old tradition that holds legal bonds strong. It allows spouses to make decisions for each other, share finances, and stay monogamous (That’s the idea, at least). We grow up with this fairytale idea that marriage is our destiny. It’s what we are raised to do; and if we don’t get married, we’re considered “on the shelf” or a “bachelorette for life.”
The excitement of marriage and a wedding is almost every little girl’s dream.
Pinterest’s Wedding section really gets our hearts fluttering, and all we can do is start pinning and planning. However, we should never feel as if marriage is obligatory; instead, it should be thought of as an option to combine certain things from two best friends’ (and lovers’) lives into one.
People marry for a variety of reasons. No one is to say that marrying for financial gain is any more of a legitimate reason than marrying for monogamy or for any other reason other than love. If your significant other does not want to entertain the idea of marriage, ask yourself a few questions to better understand why marriage is so important to you.
Are you wanting to get married because your family asks about it every time you see or talk to them?
Are your friends all (or seemingly all) married and starting to have kids? Have you been a bridesmaid in a ton of weddings? Do you feel as if your biological clock is ticking? If you have answered YES to all or most of these, it may be wise to rethink WHY you are so adamant about getting married.
With all the pressure from outside variables, it’s difficult to know if the reasons you want to be married so badly are legitimate.
I am by no means telling you to re-think marriage in general—just to think about why marriage is important in your relationship. There are always two sides. Men will debate that you can love and be with someone without “that piece of paper,” while women will rebut with “Well, if it’s just a piece of paper, then it should be no big deal.”
You know where you stand. If being married is a deal breaker in the dating department, you have obviously made up your mind. However, if your reasons for wanting marriage are swayed in the first place, maybe it’s time to rethink marriage in general!