You have a great online dating profile, right?
Or do you?
The truth is, there are 3 mistakes most women make that kill their results online…
Any one of these mistakes will keep the good guys, the quality men you really want to ask you out, from ever reaching out…
Leaving you with an inbox of guys who ghost, flake, or can’t commit … or even worse, just plain ‘crickets.’
In a moment I’ll show you where your online profile is turning off great guys, and what to do instead.
But if you are struggling to find ‘Mr Right’ online, you’re definitely not alone!
In February, 2020 a new Pew Research Center study showed that Americans who have used a dating site or app in the past year say their recent experience left them feeling more frustrated (45%).
At the same time, according to a study released in 2019 by sociologists at Stanford University and University of New Mexico, online dating is by far the most common way that American couples now meet.
The data also shows that between 1995 to 2017, meeting through friends saw the largest decline, from 33% of couples at the start of the period to just 20% at the end.
Add Covid-19 to the mix and it’s never been more important to learn how to date online like a ninja!
And, if you don’t, you may find yourself hopeless, frustrated, and as a result, missing out on amazing opportunities, and ultimately, quitting online dating altogether.
Here are three subtle mistakes you might be making in your profile that will make a huge impact on your results:
- Eliminate using words and phrases that make it look like you are writing a job description, especially in the first paragraph. Not only does it read ‘masculine’ to a high quality man, but as most men who we interview report, one of their first date ‘pet peeves’ is that they feel like they are being interviewed. When a quality man goes online and gets an interview vibe within the first few seconds of reviewing your profile, he may pass you by. Dating and relationships and love are heart centered connections, and when you write a list of what you want, a quality man will not be able to get a sense of your big heart and who you are on the inside. Even a great guy is likely to make up stories that you are looking to fill a role rather than fall in love.
- Don’t lead with your success, independence, and what you are not looking for. Profiles that start out saying things like “I’m a successful, independent woman who loves travel and adventure,” can be interpreted to a quality man that you are too busy and even have some hard edges to you. What’s true is that a high quality man is looking for a woman who wants an interdependent relationship. He will be turned on by the fact that you can be both independent and feminine. While he loves that you are successful, he wants to know who you are rather than what you do. In addition, when you list what you don’t want, most good men will read that as an unconscious list of the ways you have been burned and hurt, or a vibe that you may be over an ex, but are still hurt, bitter, or angry. Focus instead on the core values you want to share with your partner and use your word count to show him what that looks like in the magical life you will create together. Show him who you are, not what you are.
- Show, don’t tell! For example, rather than write out a list of what you love to do, that you want kids or don’t, or are looking for someone who likes travel or is into sustainability, instead write a profile that shows what your life looks like because you both share these values. If you want someone who has a value of adventure or travel, use sentence starters like, “On the weekends we love to explore hidden B and B’s on the coast.” Into roughing it… how about something like this? “We love to grab our tent and get in the car to find a remote camping spot with a view of the ocean!” Men want to imagine what life is like with you, and when you make a list it doesn’t inspire him to make a connection. And, what’s worse, is that the parts of you that are unique won’t be perceptible when you lead with lists. And since most profiles have lists, yours won’t stand out amongst the crowd!
The bottom line is, there are more quality guys than ever looking for connections online.
And if you’re not hearing from them, you’re probably making one of these mistakes and turning off the high-caliber men who could be perfect for you!