Online dating has evolved in many ways since Match.com was first introduced in the mid 1990’s. Today online dating has become a much more mainstream and widely accepted way to meet your partner and because there is a more diverse base of users online dating, as well as advanced technology that makes it even easier to be successful, it’s crucial you understand how to maximize the opportunities it provides.
Remember, online dating sites and apps are essentially technology companies.As a result, you must work the site or app in the smartest way possible to optimize the algorithm to win the best matches possible. Here’s how:
- Take initiative. One of the biggest online dating myths women hold onto is wanting men to reach out to them first. This is because you may believe that it is not feminine to initiate contact, are afraid of rejection, or even that you don’t want to work that hard at dating. However, this is a huge mistake because if you do not engage with the app, the app will not know what kind of matches to send you. The more you interact with men by initiating conversations, the more likely the site will send you the kind of men you are interested in. If you don’t engage with the site in this way, you are leaving it to the technology to guess what kind of matches you want to see. If someone you intitiate with is not interested in you, does not respond, or even says something that is unkind, the key to success online is not taking things personally. Remember that rejection is a way for the Universe to protect you from the wrong person and urge you on towards meeting your right match. And finally, if spending 10-20 minutes a day online dating feels like work, think about other goals you have set to create the life you have and adopt the same kind of attitude. What you put your attention on is perceived by The Universe has your intention. Create time in your calendar as if it were time you would spend with your partner. Make time for dating now to make time for the relationship you want to have in the future. The Universe is listening!
- Send an email or message. Women typically don’t initiate with men which is why men get far less emails than women. As a result, your invitational message will light up his inbox like the 4th of July! Do not default to just a ‘like’ of his profile because you want communicate with men who are interested in actually meeting in a way that shows your level of seriousness. Moreover, he will be so excited to hear from you because you have made it clear that you are interested in him. Most quality men will find this kind of confidence attractive. Your message can be simple and short and should include an invitation for coffee or a drink. Men are goal oriented and answering that kind of email is easy. He doesn’t have to think about how to respond, so you are most likely to get a quick response. If he doesn’t respond, don’t let it get to you. Simply move on and send more email messages. Remember, this does not apply to men who have swiped on you or liked your profile. You want to reach out to ‘cold leads,’ meaning men who don’t yet know you exist!
- Be responsive. Don’t delay responding to men who answer ‘yes’ to your invitation. Dating Karma is real, and most women do not like it when someone they are communicating with goes cold so do not be the woman who leaves a conversation hanging in the middle. Remember that you do not need to write a novel in response, and it does not need to be clever or witty! Waiting for that perfect time when you have ‘time’ to compose the perfect message usually doesn’t come, and the ‘leads’ you are generating will go dead if you don’t respond in a timely manner. There is nothing that is more of a turn off to a quality guy who does not want to play games than a woman who leaves his messages hanging for days. Simply respond by letting him know next steps for you, whether it’s giving him your phone number to set up the date and vet each other further, or asking him for a Facetime or Zoom first to make sure you both want to meet in person. Not responding is one of the biggest ways women sabotage themselves so stay on top of your social calendar and respond to your matches in a timely manner as if he might just be your future husband!