Dating With Dignity

Watch today’s dating den to find out how to stop yourself from falling too fast, and scaring your new man off.

I’ve got a great date story to share from a while ago that is pertinent to many of the topics that come up today. So, I met this great gal on a project I was working on. There wasn’t enough time to get her number so we connected over Facebook. We tossed several FB messages back and forth and then there was an exchange of numbers. Later that week she dropped me a text that said, “Want to grab a drink tonight?” I was free, texted “Sure!” and that date was set. I was near her neck of the woods and admitted that I was a bit out of my element. Luckily she said she knew a groovy place for us to meet.

I get there a little early, grab a cocktail and within minutes she is joining me at the bar. The conversation is exciting and she is hitting upon some invigorating topics. She lights up the room as she shares her take on all things vocational, spiritual and political. She is pretty darn smart, well grounded and opinionated. I found myself sitting back and watching her show most of the night, but it was an exciting show, and it’s always fun to see someone getting carried away in passion and spark. As the conversation goes deeper, so do the drinks, and before I know it she is ordering the 4th round. Then she suggests we do a shot on the next one! At first I was a bit surprised, but then I found it sexy. This gal is asking me to man up and keep up with her, so my male machismo kicks in and I throw back a double of Jameson.

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In working with women and men in 2011 who created big, sustainable results in their lives, it’s become apparent to me what “works” and what doesn’t in becoming what success coach Bob Proctor describes as a “Goal Achiever.” And before I go on (and because I know you’re interested in what kind of results I’m talking about), let me be specific…

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By Larry Michel

The New Year is almost here – full of resolutions and promises.  If you are single, you might have the resolution to meet someone special this year.  If so, this is a perfect time to give careful thought to what you are looking for in a relationship.  Most people base compatibility on just physical characteristics and mental characteristics.

The physical part is everything we see. If the person has the right look, size and shape, energy level and even in the same geographical area, you have a good physical match.

The mental part is what most of us think is everything else. It’s who the person is. How they were raised, what they believe in. What hopes, dreams and wishes they have. Their spiritual beliefs, desires for family, travel and other activities. Their taste in clothes, music and entertainment. In a nutshell this is called the product of nurturing — what we have become since birth and how we chose to live today.  If this is a great match, you may be well on your way to a wonderful relationship.

If the physical and mental parts are both wonderful for each of you, then this should be a great match, right?  That’s what the online dating sites want us to believe, which is why we see every site construct their profiles the same way. Plenty of pictures, videos and audios and a good series of descriptions or profiles matched by questionnaires.

This does not work for the same reason a relationship based on just the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship is typically in for some big surprises. When they do work, it is a very lucky match.

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By Dr. Anna Michelle

The holiday season is not quite over till the New Year’s Eve ball drops.  Some of you may still be on vacation, visiting with family, or still recovering from Christmas a few days ago.  The holidays can put more stress and strain on a relationship than usual. Whether it’s extra commitments, less financial resources, increased family gatherings, or more activities than usual, any one of these reasons can cause tension in a relationship. Not to mention, over indulging in sugary foods, alcohol and eating more than usual intensifies anxiety, and can run the risk of turning your holiday cheer into the holiday blues.

Here are some tips on how to stress-proof your relationship for the holidays…

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By Bobbi Palmer

New Year’s Eve is approaching – that special night where you put on your little black dress, go out on the town, and celebrate – well, sort of.  If the biggest party night of the year has your stomach tied in knots because you’re single, you might want to read on.

When I was single, New Year’s Eve put me in a funk. With no one to take to parties or make out with at midnight, I was reminded of what I still wanted in my life: a loving man.

I’m married now, and so grateful to have a magnificent man in my life. But as I talk to my single girlfriends and coach my clients, I feel for them; and I still feel my sadness and disappointment as if it was yesterday.

Here is some advice I wish I had gotten when I was single. Not only do I want to help you get more joy out or your New Year’s Eve, I want to help you avoid unnecessary drama.

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By Cheri Valentine

As we move through the holidays and into the New Year, some of you may have a tingle of excitement as you anticipate the hustle and bustle of New Year’s Eve, looking forward to seeing family and friends to celebrate. For many however, this can be a very challenging time.  Anxiety, dread, and worry are more the norm for so many during the holiday season.

On Christmas, the overinflated emphasis on gifts becomes a chore and takes away from the pleasure of the connection, love, and appreciation for many people. For some, there are so many things to do in addition to the already overloaded responsibilities.  And for many more, the stress of facing another holiday alone feels unbearable.

Doesn’t sound too Happy or Merry, does it?  Yet I know from experience having been on both ends of the spectrum that you can create holiday bliss while honoring what you want and need during this time. You don’t have to straddle the tight rope between sacrifice, obligation, and strain and total seclusion or intense loneliness.

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