If you’re wondering to yourself, “Am I texting him too much?”, your intuition might be true, and it is a serious but very common problem. To help you with this problem, here’s Dating with Dignity‘s step-by-step guide to help you understand what qualifies as “too much texting”, the real reasons for your excessive texting and how to master the art of moderate texting.
Table of Contents
1. What is “too much texting”?
- You’re Expressing Your Feelings Through Text
- You’re Always Initiating the Texting
- Your Texts Are Significantly Longer Than His
- You’re Texting in a Row
- He Responds Late or Does Not Respond at All
2. Why Am I Texting Him Too Much?
3. How to Stop Texting Him Too Much?
4. Bottom Line
What Is "Too Much Texting"?
1. You're Expressing Your feelings Through Text
2. You're Always Initiating the Texting
3. Your Texts Are Significantly Longer Than His
4. You're Texting In A Row
5. He Responds Late or Does Not Respond At All
Why Am I Texting Him Too Much?
Common Triggers for Over Texting
- It could be your need to connect with another person.
- It could be your way to get that reassurance that you need from the other person, to get the exact response that you want to hear.
- It could be your way to get the attention that you secretly crave.
- It could be your way of getting empathy from the other person.
- It could be that you’re have an anxious attachment style.
How to Stop Texting Him Too Much?
And Before You Hit Send,
1. Stop, THINK, and BREATHE. No, really. BREATHE!
2. Then, ask yourself what specific piece of information you are trying to communicate? If, in fact, you are trying to share a feeling, then DON’T send a text.
3. If you want to share a feeling, decide if it is something that can be held until you gather your thoughts on the topic. If not, dial the phone to speak in person, or arrange an in-person conversation.
4. If you want to “ask” if he/she has “thought about plans” previously mentioned, or just want to remind someone that you are alive and kicking, DON’T do it. It’s simple. Men I have interviewed consistently say that when they want to talk to you, they WILL DO IT. If not, as it has been said, “he is just not that into you.” I know this hurts, and at first glance you can make yourself think it feels better to have control over the situation, but the truth is (and you know this already) this: After you hit send and get NO response, or a cold ambivalent response, you feel BAD. There is no way to sugar coat this. It sucks.
5. Remember the feeling you get when you DON’T get the response you want from a text. Think about it. Where does it live in your body? Your gut? Your chest? Feel it now. Then, ask yourself, do I want to have this feeling? Is it worth it?
