You may think that both getting home from work at the same time will lead to more impromptu date nights and cuddle sessions on the couch, but the opposite often happens. You both come home exhausted and either zombie out to HBO or need “me” time to regenerate. Often, free time is then spent at the gym or with friends you don’t want to put on the back burner as a result of being in a relationship. Or you may start getting irritated by each other because of TOO much time spent together.
Also, without a conversation, thinking that moving in together will bring you closer to a proposal can cause anxiety and pressure on both sides.
Understanding what a true, interdependent relationship (one in which each person has independence but also creates sacred space for the relationship itself) looks like is critical to making cohabitation successful. Most of us didn’t have parents who modeled this modern way of being in relationship. Keep the lines of communication open, have reasonable expectations, and ensure that you take time to revisit how the process is going both during and after the transition. This is critical to keeping the love alive.