Another sign to look for is the kind of physical contact he makes with you. There’s a difference between appropriate physical contact between two people who are newly dating and the type of physical contact that indicates your date is looking for something a little more casual.

Let’s take the Color Me Mine date to break down the difference. (For those of you who have never been to Color Me Mine, it’s a DIY pottery painting studio. It’s an awesome date place, as it encourages interaction, creativity and fun). The scenario: you and Mr. Charming are having a jovial time joking back and forth about the quirky pottery pieces you’re making. He looks at yours and says, “Stay right there, I have the right touch.” He comes up behind you, straddles you from behind a la Swayze in Ghosts, and says “Here, let me guide your paintbrush.” Sounds kind of hot and fun, but it might be an indication of what he is looking for: a hot and fun time.

Any man who’s looking to test the waters of a substantial relationship probably won’t pull the Ghost trick out of the ole book on the first few dates. We men tend to slow it down when we get into relationship mode. It is a bit of the Madonna/Whore complex. When we’re ready for a serious girl, our meters tend to dial over to the Madonna side, which means we can tame our desires. We like to think of our girlfriends as untouched, so why would we desecrate that image from the beginning? However, if we’re looking to have fun, Madonna goes out the window and the game is on to do whatever we can to get you to open up and, well, you get the picture.