Blah blah blah. Are you as sick as I am of reading and listening to the gurus talk about what trends to watch in the coming year? Let me be clear, I have read them all. Well, Ok, I have skimmed them tbh. However, what I have gleaned from it all is that what the ‘experts’ are saying are trends are really those things we have been teaching and talking about for the last thirteen years on our campus.
So, that being said, here’s what’s “HOT” for 2023:
- Open Casting: This means that you make an intentional effort to date men that do not fall into your particular ‘type.’ On our campus we call it being open, curious, and optimistic. It means that you get clear on your non-negotiables or what we call deal breakers. That you limit it to just five, and then put everything else on your ‘wish list.’ It also means that when you are considering who to date, you look beyond characteristics and focus on character. This means that you date beyond the 6-6-6 metrics which require you look for a man over six feet tall with a six pack that makes over six figures. The bottom line: Open Casting is silly. Be open minded and above all, remember you are looking for a life partner, not casting someone in the role of husband, dream man or mythical Prince Charming. Get past what you think you should be doing and focus on dating with the intention to find a man you can share you life with for the long term.
- Guardrailing: Well, good news at last. Finally the art of setting boundaries has been given a fancy name by the Netizens of the world! Guardrailing is hot because apparently now you are officially not a bitch if you set boundaries. On our campus, however, we have been teaching our clients and talking to our community about setting boundaries forever. Why? Because if you don’t set boundaries than the hurt and wounded parts of you that linger from the past will, at an unconscious level, sabotage all of your best efforts to find a long-term partner because they don’t feel emotionally safe. Every time you set a boundary, you are demonstrating to that hurt part of you that they are safe. That the adult you will protect them from experiencing the familiar feelings of rejection, abandonment or not feeling enough. Essentially, when you tell a man in a feminine, empowered way that Netflix and Chill dates are not in alignment with what you are trying to create in your life, you are letting that hurt part of you know that you won’t settle for crumbs or being treated less than. We love this word, and are so grateful that there is now a clever word to describe what we have been wanting you to do forever.
- Modern Masculinity: Yay, looks like being an emotionally available man has an official name. And, according to a study done by Bumble, over the last year, 3 in 4 (74%) of men say they have examined their behavior more than ever and have a clearer understanding of ‘toxic masculinity’ and what is not acceptable. More than half of men on Bumble (52%) are actively challenging stereotypes that suggest that men should not show emotions, for fear of appearing weak. 1 in 3 (38%) now speak more openly about their emotions with their male friends, and half (49%) of men agree that breaking gender roles in dating and relationships is beneficial for them too. On our campus we have been calling the Modern Alpha Males, meaning that a high quality guy is a man who is emotionally intelligent, emotionally available, and also retains those qualities that make him all man. We are very excited that the data is now proving what we have known all along – there are high quality men everywhere. And as a result of societal changes mostly resultant from the Pandemic, they are now coming out in droves. This trend that allows emotionally intelligent and available men to come out of the proverbial closet is something we are very much excited about on our campus because it helps squash the limiting belief so many women hold that there are no ‘good men’ out there that are interested in dating women who are also emotionally intelligent and available.
If you would like to be able to thrive in 2023, join us at DatingwithDignity.com