Here’s my problem: After a great first date, many guys say, “Would love to see you again.” We exchange pleasant emails back and forth, and I ask him to give me a call. I haven’t heard from him yet. Should I wait for him to call for the second date, or shall I call him if I don’t hear from him after a week? First things first: DO NOT ask him to call YOU.
Why You Shouldn't Ask A Guy To Call You?
1. If He's Boyfriend Material, He'd Call
A man who is truly “Boyfriend Material” and interested in pursuing a relationship with you will call you if he wants to see you again. Period. The tricky thing sometimes is that he may casually say he wants to see you again after your date, which feels awesome. This, however, is STILL a step removed from actually calling you to make plans.
2. He Might Have Said He'd Call To Be Nice
Men say what they mean and mean what they say. However, dating sometimes has a bit of grey area—especially in the beginning stages—mostly because men might be afraid of hurting a woman’s feelings.
What To Do When He Doesn't Call?
So a man might say “I’ll call you” at the end of a date or ask what your plans are for the weekend, which is great. But he also might NOT call you to follow up, in which case you have a few choices.
1. Wait
You can wait patiently for him to get in touch with you and make a plan (Again, do NOT ask him to call you!) or….
2. Move On
Moving on is your best option if you’ve been waiting for more than a week, and it just may be a temporary move-on because he may show up in two weeks…or even three!
3. Find A Healthy Distraction
Getting ghosted after what you thought was a great date is heartbreaking. You just have to remember that there are plenty of fish in the sea and that this guy was simply NOT YOUR GUY! Next thing to do is to find yourself a healthy distraction. You could:
- Go out with friends
- Take a class
- Plan a trip
- Going on other dates
So when you decide to move on, you are actually making ROOM for the next man who is going to show up and follow through.
Why Don't Men Call After A Great Date?
The thing is, if a man hasn’t made an effort to be touch with you to make another plan, he probably either
a. is thinking long and hard if he thinks you two are a good match;
b. is determining whether he is ready to give the AWESOME you what you really deserve; or
c. has already decided that you aren’t a match.
Bottom Line
If a man is interested in pursuing you and pursuing a relationship with you (READ: he is boyfriend material), or even if he just wants to spend time with you, he knows exactly how to do that. All YOU have to do is be ready to answer the phone or text.
— Written by Rose Burke, Dating With Dignity Staff Writer and Coach
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