Life Check Yourself Episode 361 – This is Not What it Looks Like When You Are Falling in Love with Chris Gillis & Dr. Emily
Marni and Chris are joined by Dr. Emily to dish about what went terribly wrong on this week’s Bachelor in Paradise. In addition to extracting the real-life dating lessons demonstrated on the show, they share the contestants they identify with, and who their favorite contestants are.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Power dynamics in relationships
- Settling for the guy who shows you attention
- The importance of shared values
- Age-gap relationships
Gender Role Confusion on BIP [2:18]
Eliza and Rodney decided they were made for each other then Justin came back. Uh oh! Eliza asks if she can go on a date with Justin and Rodney says yes, but why? In the real world, many women are confused about power dynamics. They send confusing messages to men about how much power they want in a relationship because they were taught conflicting messages about what masculine and feminine dynamics are in a relationship.
Direct and honest communication is the best gift you can give another person.
Just because a guy says he is falling for you doesn’t make him “the one.” Almost all of the women on the show are emotionally fragile. They seem to be stuck on the guy that chooses them instead of weighing out their options. A lack of self-worth is what makes us settle for every guy that gives us attention.
Victoria Falls for Johnny [17:07]
What is it about Johnny that made Victoria crumble this week? Does he have F-boy kryptonite, or is it because he hangs out with the popular kids? He told Victoria he wasn’t good enough for her and he clearly doesn’t have the same values. Yet, as soon as she saw his brokenness and puppy dog face, she was hooked.
Genevieve and Aaron are an example of how NOT to resolve conflict and how NOT to move forward in a relationship. These two are toxic together. Getting angry and defensive doesn’t solve anything. They both seem to have emotional issues and like drama.
Chris says this tactic won’t last. Eventually, one partner is going to give up and stop chasing the drama.