Life Check Yourself Episode 305 – If You Are Using This to Get Him to Fall for You, It Is Probably Pushing Him Away with Chris Gillis
Chris Gillis joins Marni to discuss the juicy dating nuggets from this week’s ho-hum The Bachelor episode. Clayton uses the show’s credit card to Pretty Womanize the contestants, but he is no Richard Gere. The Producers force therapy on the women whether they like it or not, and the probable frontrunner shares too much.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- Meaningful gifts mean more than extravagant gifts
- Couples don’t go to therapy at the beginning of a relationship
- Some women stay too long with men who drain their energy
- Share how you feel without expounding
The Pretty Woman Date [2:03]
The pretense of the Pretty Woman date is to mimic the 1990s classic but falls short on entertainment value because we have evolved into 2022. Clayton, the handsome guy takes women to a fancy store and treats them like princesses. Marni wonders if buying clothes for a woman is really the royal treatment.
Chris questions whether women like this tactic or not. Marni says women just want to be treated like they are special. That is the key, not the stuff. Attention to detail and thoughtfulness go a long way in wooing a woman.
Women want to feel special, not bombarded with expensive gifts.
Couples Therapy in Vienna [17:52]
In another completely ridiculous setup, Clayton and company are whisked off to Vienna to attend therapy and psychoanalyze each other. Marni points out that couples don’t go to counseling at the beginning of a relationship when they are still happy. The women were expected to open up in front of the cameras and crew, yet Clayton didn’t have to share anything. He is given the golden gavel and evaluates them. This type of stunt is merely theatrics. It would never occur in real life.
Genevieve, the contestant who has never had a one-on-one date with Clayton, is asked to blurt out her feelings about him. She says she doesn’t like talking about things that make her upset or crying. Even if she is not comfortable with her feelings, she wasn’t set up to win.
When dating there has to be context to be vulnerable. Don’t beat yourself up if you can’t talk about your feelings on first dates or surprise encounters.
Marni thinks Genevieve should B-N-R (bless and release) Clayton. Women stay too long with guys who drain their energy. He didn’t take time with her therefore she doesn’t owe him anything.
Sharing Feelings Without Ultimatums [32:40]
Marni thinks Rachel, the pilot, is the frontrunner. Or at least, it will come down to Rachel and Susie. Rachel is good at reading physical queues and she notices that Clayton lights up when someone says she loves him. It builds him up. Is he just a dufus who needs affirmation?
Maybe, I love you shouldn’t be shared over plastic food with a rose?
Rachel did a good job of taking responsibility for her 50%. Marni says Rachel shared her feelings with dignity, while Chris felt she went a little too far.