Dating Den Episode 203 – With Connie & Annette: What You Are Doing That You Don't Even Know That is Keeping You Single and Alone
Marni welcomes two ladies from the Dating with Dignity community who attended the Ignite Your Life virtual conference, Connie and Annette. The pair share their dating experiences before attending the conference, what they learned at the conference, and tips for other women who are considering enrolling in the upcoming Ignite Your Life virtual event.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Why it’s important to be with others going through the same thing
- The unconscious thoughts and actions holding you back
- Moving past fear and getting vulnerable
- How a 3-day event can change your life
Community is Everything [2:26]
Annette and Connie both listened to the Dating Den Podcast before deciding to take the plunge and enroll in the Ignite Your Life Program.
Annette had been on a self-imposed 2-year dating hiatus before joining. She was frustrated with dating because she wasn’t meeting quality men. The last few guys she dated before her “break” turned her off of dating. She was okay by herself for a while but the pandemic made it clear to her that she wanted someone in her life.
Connie was married for a long time. She was hoping her guy would just magically show up when the elevator doors opened. She was dating and meeting a lot of nice guys, but she would rule guys out before she would rule them in. She felt like she was going around in circles. She would consult with her married girlfriends about what was normal while dating, but they didn’t know. She admits she was clueless about dating. It was scary for her to put herself out there and be vulnerable. After being married for so long, she felt exposed out in the world.
The pandemic gave single ladies a chance to focus on their priorities and decide what they wanted from life and love.
Annette decided to attend the Ignite Your Life event because she was intrigued to be with other women who were going through the same thing she was.
When you downplay your singleness or find shame in being alone, events can be an opportunity to connect.
Connie wanted to uncover something she wasn’t seeing. She trusted it when something inside of her said ‘sign up for this’. Once she was in it, she felt open and excited. She had a great time. She says she felt 3-feet higher every day. She did not realize how she was acting and reacting on dates. Listening to other women made her feel not alone. Being part of the community offered her much more than a book, or a video.
Shifting Unconscious Behaviors [22:36]
Annette says her biggest shift, after the IYL event, is that she started showing up for herself and applying what she learned. It gave her a chance to think about the things she was struggling with. It gave her the tools to help her to move forward.
Connie found it uncomfortable on the first day to reveal what may have been holding her back and to be vulnerable. While it was hard for her, she knew she had to keep going. She uses the analogy of popping a zit. It wasn’t fun but it was necessary.
Both women were able to unbottle their emotions and trust the process.
What you reveal, you can heal.
Marni asks if Connie and Annette have any tips for other ladies who are thinking about enrolling in the event. Connie says she is thankful that it showed up in her life and she would have done it sooner had she known about it. Annette’s response mirrors Connies. She wouldn’t have waited as long if she had heard about it earlier and she definitely would not have taken the break from dating.
You are worth the investment so jump in with both your head and your heart.
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