Dating Den Episode 175 – With Ryan Haddon: Is Your Subconscious Mind Running the Show and Sabotaging Your Dating Life?
Marni welcomes Ryan Haddon into the Den to discuss the role your subconscious plays in dating. Ryan is a certified Life Coach and Spiritual Mentor, a licensed Hypnotherapist, a certified Meditation Teacher, and a public speaker who facilitates retreats and promotes work-life balance. She is here to share her expertise and life-changing approach to spiritual mentoring during the major transition we are all experiencing.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Make changes in your subconscious mind
- Breaking negative patterns
- Finding emotional safety
- Cultivating stillness
- Calming techniques
How your Subconscious Hijacks Your Brain and Your Life [3:02]
The subconscious mind runs 95% of your life. It stores every memory, every emotion, and the imagination in your brain. Its primary function is to keep us comfortable but it also houses phobias and fears. Unfortunately, we become slaves to it. It should be the opposite. It should be there to serve us.
When it hijacks our conscious mind it is counterproductive. We habitually tend to keep doing the same things over and over. While it is trying to protect us from past experiences and future mistakes, it stays stuck in familiar patterns that in the past brought us comfort.
The best time to transform your subconscious thoughts is while falling asleep and waking up.
Tips for Getting Out of a Funk [13:13]
Ryan says if you want to break a cycle and get yourself out of a funk, try to pinpoint your feelings and reframe your story. Move into acceptance. If you find yourself at the end of a bad date have a go-to positive phrase or affirmation, such as “My guy is finding his way to me”. It will help you shift.
Feelings are not facts. If you find yourself in a moment when you are feeling hopeless or in a funk, it’s about being mindful of the present moment. Learn self-hypnosis techniques. Take a meditative walk in nature. Anything to get yourself into emotionally safe territory.
Life consistently challenges us. Cultivate and curate stillness so you are prepared for the next round.
Anxiety is Creeping In What Do I Do? [23:46]
What can you do to heal past issues that may still be held in your subconscious? Ryan recommends self-care practices such as a bath or a massage. She says you can also soothe yourself by giving yourself a hug or tapping. Say “I’ve got you. I’m not going to abandon you.” while you rock back and forth to clear negative energy that may be stuck in the body.
Other physical movements that will soothe a habitual pattern forged by the subconscious are 3 deep abdomen breaths with your feet flat on the floor, writing something down on paper to release it from your body. As soon as you notice a pattern, leverage a new dynamic, and keep trying until you find what is best for you.
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