Life Check Yourself Episode 357 – Can It Work if He Doesn’t Speak Your Love Language? With Chris Gillis
Marni and Chris Gillis break down the double-whammy that was Bachelor in Paradise. So many juicy lessons in this episode about non-negotiables, emotional unavailability, prima donnas, and F-boys! If you are in the dating pool and consistently not meeting the right guys, tune in and chill out.
Takeaways from this episode:
- Beauty fades and money is never enough
- Love language connection
- How to express what you need
- Being more than your story
- What to do when a date is not a match
Needs versus Wants [4:08]
This episode of Bachelor in Paradise revealed some perfect examples of ladies who have unrealistic expectations about what a guy needs to do in dating. A guy can be interested in a woman without being a slobbering mess and falling all over her. A woman who needs constant validation of her lovability and worth doesn’t make a good partner.
Hey Genevieve and Shanae, if a guy doesn’t treat you like Disney princesses you don’t have to turn into witches!
When starting to date someone and they don’t show up as “perfect,” understand that “perfect” is not realistic and realize that now is the time to train the person how you want to be treated.
Michael A-Hole [19:15]
Both Marni and Chris agree that Michael A. is an emotionally unavailable jerk. If you don’t remember, Michael was on the Bachelor but left because his son missed him and now he is on Bachelor in Paradise.
In the very first episode, Michael seemingly lays his soul on the line to Sierra. He got emotionally naked with her and then when she opened up to him he put on the brakes saying the relationship was moving too fast and that he just wants to be friends.
Marni says it clearly demonstrates that Michael is emotionally unavailable. Chris says Michael slammed his foot down on the vulnerability pedal and it’s bullsh*t. He started by speaking her love language and then pulled an f-boy move.
Even if Sierra was coerced into just leaving the relationship, she should have asked what Michael meant when he said things were moving too fast.
Don’t let your story be all you have to offer a partner.
How to Put on the Brakes [31:17]
There is no way to reform an F-Boy. So, when it is time to bow out after a date how do you do it? Marni explains how a girl can control the pace of dating and the overall relationship. She says — if you are on a date and it is not going well, you do not owe the other person anything. Even if they paid for the meal, brought flowers, etc.
The best way to bow out after dating is to be direct and tell the other person they are not your match.