Life Check Yourself Episode 289 – With Dr. Colin Wilford: 10 Ways to Know if You Are Compatible with Your Guy
Have you ever met a guy who checked all of your boxes…
Smart, hot, evolved, attentive and so into you.
And you have that chemistry thing going on.
I mean you literally think – he could be ‘the one.’
And after a few dates you end up in bed together or even in a relationship.
But after a while it doesn’t feel like it did when you started. Not at all.
You don’t connect like you did. Physically, emotionally, spiritually. It all feels wrong and it happened quickly.
Then it hits you how different he is from who you thought he was. Wow.
You wonder how you missed it. Why didn’t you see how wrong you were for each other…?
It happens a lot.
The problem is you’re looking for the things you want in a partner and in a relationship, so that’s what you tend to see.
What if there were a few simple questions you could ask a man when you first meet, that tell you how compatible you are with him… for love and a long term relationship?
Imagine if you didn’t have to waste time with guys and relationships that are going nowhere?
Marni speaks with Dr. Colin Wilford, a Clinical Psychologist with 27 years in dating and relationship counseling. Dr. Wilford enjoys studying mind-personality dynamics, the power of influence, and leadership. During the conversation, he shares his 4 Pillars to Higher Emotional Intelligence and his early-dating ConeXions assessment tool.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- Why relationships fail
- How-to grow emotional intelligence
- What motivates people
- What people want from a relationship
The 4 Pillars to Emotional Intelligence [2:10]
Marni asks Dr. Wilford about how a woman can determine what motivates the man they are dating or a team member they manage.
We all have a passion for something and unless we ask the questions we don’t know what motivates people. Most people are thinking about themselves and what they want instead of the other person.
In a relationship, people want to feel attracted to one another, they want to be loved, validated, and accepted.
Dr. Wilford describes his 4 Key Pillars to Emotional Intelligence
Making ConeXsions [22:58]
Dr. Wilford has been thinking about what makes relationships successful, what makes some compatible, and what makes them fall apart. So, he designed a tool that assesses compatibility between people who are starting to connect and starting to date.
It points to the things that create compatibility and gives couples something to come back to when they hit a rough patch.
Most relationships fall apart because one person can not handle the stress.
How-to Grow Emotional Intelligence [35:02]
Dr. Wilford reveals that human beings have the wonderful privilege of receiving a stimulus and then having time to think about what to do about it. The rest of the animal kingdom doesn’t have this ability.
Don’t be an animal, be a human being.
The key is to increase the time. When we have a knee-jerk reaction it is normally destructive to our relationship.