Imagine this: you’re on a first date with a high value man. He’s handsome, he’s smart, the conversation is fun and effortless… and you get this feeling deep down that there’s something there between you two.
But, towards the middle of the date, the conversation starts to die out.
As confident as you were at the beginning of the date, you start to feel unsure.
Is the connection you were feeling real, or is he starting to lose interest?
You feel compelled to keep the excitement up and continue to get to know him on a deeper level…but you just don’t know what to say.
Not to worry. We’ve got you covered.
In this article we’ll explore 5 must ask questions to keep a conversation going, create instant chemistry, and find out if he’s the right guy for you.
First Things First - Prepare For the Date
Before we jump to the 5 questions, let’s take a step back and make sure you are in the proper mindset and heartset going into the date.
Prior to your date, it’s important to think about the possibilities of how that date will go. Will it be smooth? Rocky? Awkward? Instant chemistry? Basically what I’m suggesting to you is to not go into the date COMPLETELY blind…
Ladies tend to go on a date without a plan. While it’s okay to go with the flow, setting an intention to connect genuinely will make the most of your date and allow energy to flow much more effortlessly.
As humans, we crave energy and connection on a deep level. It can feel intimidating to go on a date knowing you intend to dive into some deep and meaningful questions. Trust me, it’s worth it. It isn’t just women who want this level of connection. Believe it or not, high-quality men want to get to the good stuff, too!
Before determining which questions you’ll ask, it’s crucial to turn into yourself and get comfortable with your emotions, even when they make you uncomfortable. Reflect on your goals and values and feel comfortable with these things before bringing them forth.
If you’re not able to connect with yourself, it will make it that much harder to connect to someone else.
With that in mind, let’s look at 5 valuable questions that you can ask on a date so that you can keep the chemistry flowing, actually get to know the man you’re sitting across from, and figure out if he’s the right guy for you!
5 Questions to Ask on a Date
Consider asking your date these questions to get to know him better…
- What do you love most about yourself?
- What are three crucial routines that you keep?
- Everyone has a guilty pleasure, and mine is _____.
- When do you feel most secure?
- Describe a person you have difficulty connecting with. Why do you think that is?
Why Ask the Deeper Questions
You may have noticed that the questions above go beyond typical small talk.
Questions are great conversation starters, but they also give you an opportunity to get to something deeper, and immediately grow your connection with someone (whether it’s the connection you want or not). It’s not about finding the flaws or disagreements between you and your date. Instead, it’s about accepting the other and meeting them where they are. These questions don’t have to be tough enough to stump them or make them uncomfortable. The goal is to share on a deeper level and build trust.
Connections are made through empathy. We all have fears, judgments, and biases. You might fear conflict, or feel uncomfortable with opposition. Instead of falling back on fear, judgment, and bias, try to acknowledge and remove them, and instead focus on how this strengthens connections.
The successful connection and trust with another starts within you. Pushing past limiting beliefs about how dates should be or what questions should be off-limits interfere with creating a real and trusting connection. Dating doesn’t have to start with awkward silences and suppressing your true self. If your date isn’t into your questions, they’re probably not the one for you!
Next Steps
Listen, knowing what to say to a man and how to say it can be a big problem.
For a lot of smart, strong, independent women it can be the only thing standing between you and a great guy.
Instead of second guessing yourself, wondering if you could have said something different, or biting your tongue and not saying things because you’re afraid you’ll push him away… all the while missing out on opportunities with high-quality men…
