Life Check Yourself Episode 401 The Signs to Know He is Just Your Type with Polina Solda
Marni welcomes Polina Solda in the Life Check Yourself studio, where they discuss how to find a partner that is just your type. Polina is the founder and CEO of Love by Design and podcast host of Find the Right man. Using a personality test called Eniostyle, Polina helps clients find their perfect match, that is the type that is most compatible with their personality. In this episode, Marni and Polina talk about the reasons why certain relationships might work out and others might not. Breaking down the Eniostyle personality typing system, the duo delve into what it means to be categorized as one type or the other, and how that can guide you in your search for the one.
Takeaways from this episode:
- A couple should be different but complementary
- What’s your personality type?
- How to find the type that’s most compatible with you
- Your thoughts create your feelings
- How to train your brain
- Know who you are
It’s Not Him; It’s His Personality Type (And Yours) [03:13]
Some matches are made in heaven; others are sealed in hell. But it’s actually nobody’s fault as it turns out. It’s more about compatibility. The number one reason for divorces is incompatibility.
But how do we figure it all out? The Eniostyle test.
The Eniostyle test is a test that helps you understand your personality type and decipher which personality types you’re most compatible with.
The personality typing system is one that actually finds its basis in Carl Jung’s 4 psychological types. And the reason that this test is groundbreaking is that, on a subconscious level, people are looking for someone who is different from them but still complimentary – which is the principle of dual partners.
When we talk about sharing our lives together, what ends up happening if we are exactly the same type is that you can make it work but it’s not ideal. Because the other energies and strengths will be missing.
So, it’s not actually about finding someone who is exactly like you because the complementary energy that comes as part of being with someone different is then missing.
The four personality types in the Eniostyle are North (logical, structured), East (wise, creative), South (emotional, pleasure-driven), and West (impact and growth-driven). And each type has a different mission.
So, for example, South is here to laugh and to feel, which means they have the tendency to be more anxious when it comes to attachment style. And that matters because if a woman who is South is attracted to a man who is East, then the relationship might not fare so well. East is creative, he’s the guy who is most commonly associated with breaking hearts; his interest shifts from one thing to the next. And he can be anxious-avoidant.
It’s in the Essence [14:07]
It isn’t just about compatibility, though. But when you’re fully aligned with who you are, you’re going to inevitably be magnetic to your dual partner. So, for example, when it comes to the West-type woman and the East-type man, it’s also important for the East-type man to be fully expressed and follow his path of mastery.
When it comes to your East-man, there’s another factor – I call it frequency – it’s the level that a man is at when it comes to his actualization in society.
When talking about a man’s actualization in society, It isn’t necessarily about money but rather about who they are in essence, and whether they are following that path or not.
When it comes to being with someone, having that different yet complementary energy is important. Because two people who are exactly the same won’t be able to complete each other in the way that two people who are different would.
If you put two west types together – both are driven and ambitious – then who is bringing that playfulness that an east type would?
It’s about finding this balance where each strength completes what the other one lacks.
It’s not just about these external characteristics that so many women are looking for that they forget about who they are. And they’re just looking at what they are.
Going Back to Basics [18:40]
It’s important to identify yourself. And the first step towards that is thinking about your childhood. If you’re not really sure about who you are or why you are here, then look back to your natural strengths, which you’ll find in your childhood.
Your natural strengths show up in the early stages of your life. But the things that happen along the way skew your vision of that as you adapt to what is expected of you, or the pressures that you encounter as you go through life.
While it is not a personality type, and rather more of a concept, there is the type of woman who is trying to be a bit of everything. And that’s not necessarily because she wants to but rather because she’s been socialized into it by being put in certain situations.
Look at how you feel to know whether something is in alignment with who you are or not.
If you’re on a date and it feels like an effort and you can’t be yourself, then that’s a hint that you’re not aligned in that situation. Or think of your job. If it feels very structured and you’re constantly longing for freedom, then it’s not going to be aligned.
It really is about going back to basics, and figuring out what the sources of joy are for you, and what are the things that you can sit there doing all day.
