Dating Den Episode 161 – With Mike Goldstein: How You Can Stand Out and Successfully Date Online During the CoronaVirus Pandemic
The coronavirus pandemic has changed the way we live, work, and date but we all still crave connection and relationship. Our approach to dating apps and, dating in general, requires a gentle shift to accommodate the isolative guidelines. To inform us of how we can still find a high-quality man online and build more connection through a process of virtual dates Marni welcomes the #1 online dating expert in America, Mike Goldstein to the Den. Mike is a private dating coach, public speaker, and author. His work has been featured on the Today show and in Reader’s Digest.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- Should you change your online profile to accommodate quarantine?
- The step-by-step process of how to have a fun virtual date
- How to create connection during the pandemic
- How to use your time wisely by collecting data
- How to find love in the time of corona
Dating During Distancing [2:32]
Mike and Marni both recommend staying away from the doom and gloom. You can keep yourself informed without drowning in the negative aspects of what is happening. You can let your circumstances dictate your vision or you can let your vision guide you during this time.
Marni thinks that for women this is an especially awesome time to do virtual dating. Mike says it’s a great opportunity to use virtual dating to focus on connection. When dating or meeting someone new, women often want connection before sex. The pandemic and quarantine are forcing us to go through the dating process. It gives us the time to find out if you are compatible with the other person.
Make an effort to really get to know each other on your virtual dates.
Mike shares an example of how the corona pandemic is giving one of his clients the time she always wanted. Use your time wisely and ask yourself what your future self wants?
During the coronavirus pandemic, single men and women are craving connection because we are not getting it.
What has Changed with Virtual Dating During Corona? [10:21]
It is still recommended to follow Mike’s 50/12/1 strategy on Match.com, OK Cupid, or eHarmony. Send 50 messages to guys you are interested in, 12 will say yes, and then narrow it down to one. The new ‘pandemic’ process includes asking for a 15-minute Facetime/Zoom/Skype, etc. call. Even if the call is going great, get off the call at the 15-minute mark, Mike says. Setting a boundary will give you a sense of control.
The ‘pandemic’ dating process includes some tweaks:
Change your intro message. A good example is… “Would you like to hop on a virtual call to get to know each other?” If you felt a connection ask for a second virtual connection.
Your second virtual date should be limited to 1-hour or 90 minutes to get to know each other. Focus on having fun. Ladies, don’t hold back. If you think of a creative idea for a virtual date let him know. Be fun and playful but set a time boundary. It builds anticipation and leaves him wanting more.
If you believe the person has potential during the third virtual date get a copy of the 36 questions to fall in love. Mike recommends the questionnaire and says it’s a great tool that really works. It makes for a fun, playful date.
Just because you are not going ‘out’ on a date, put your best foot forward. Men are visual. Dress the way that makes you feel the best!
Making the Most of Virtual Dating [32:57]
Data collecting is an important aspect of dating so why not use the time of extended virtual interactions to collect as much data as possible. Studies show that one of the top four things in terms of people getting together is proximity. So, be strategic and centralize your search radius to find a man closer to you. Mike points out that dating is already hard and it gets harder when people live far away.
Use your time wisely, try to avoid talking about the pandemic. Be different and change the topic if it comes up to something fun.
Remember, we are all going through this pandemic together for the first time. Get creative with your connection options. Suggest fun dating ideas you both can share virtually.
Netflix offers a new service where you can watch a movie together with someone and includes a chat feature so you can discuss the film or show.
Write down your top 3 goals. If finding connection and a relationship is one of them, it’s OK to be aggressive about it. Everyone is craving connection right now.
