Dating Den Episode 134 – With Michaela Boehm: How to Get Out of Masculine Energy Even if You are Not a Girly Girl
Marni sits down with the author of The Wild Woman’s Way, Michaela Boehm. Michaela is an internationally recognized counselor, teacher, and an intimacy and sexuality expert. She has a psychology degree and intensive training in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), and hypnosis.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- How to transition between go mode and flow mode
- Embracing the masculine and feminine energy within
- Connecting with the wisdom of your body
- Being the CEO of your soul
- How to be more approachable
Having Goals and Being in Flow [2:20]
When you look at life its all go..go..go. Our external life is related to the goal aspect of us. And we need to get stuff done. It doesn’t matter how you slice it, most of our functional adult life has to do with going and doing and getting things done. Many people get stuck in go mode. It’s addictive.
Goals and go mode are based in the head. Flow happens in the lower body through our intuition and pleasure. It all sits in the pelvic area, thighs, and the belly.
You can be a beast and get things done and also relinquish yourself to flow. It’s not black and white.
It’s not just one or the other because that is reductive. It’s about having both – go and flow – but many of us are weak in the flow department. If you are not in the flow, when you go on a date you are stuck in the getting stuff done mode and that isn’t the best way to attract a quality guy.
The Wild Woman’s Way [9:44]
Michaela says moving your body in different ways can adjust how you feel. Move from being in your head and into the body. Our bodies hold the realm of pleasure and connection. Staying in go mode resists the body’s natural patterns of flow and intuition.
She says “we forget that in the body sits the wisdom of millennia. Millions of years really. When our bodies are neglected we lose the connection to our sexuality.”
Michaela recommends doing something every day to spend time connecting with the wisdom with our bodies. Light a candle, put flowers on your desk, drink a cup of tea without scrolling through your phone.
The quickest way to get connected with the body is to do hip circles.
There is a lot of power in our thighs.
Pleasures are our birthright. We are born with an enormous amount of body intelligence and information. We are not machines. A quality conscious guy doesn’t want or need a machine.
Embracing Your Femininity [27:20]
The terms masculine and feminine are terms that are incredibly overused and misunderstood. We all have both the go and the flow in equal amounts. We are supposed to use the type of energy we need for certain situations. When women who are very functional, successful, and driven are condemned for not being feminine enough, it’s wrong. No one can take your birthright of femininity. You may not be overtly feminine but it’s yours, so claim it.
Femininity is pushed out of us. We are taught that go mode is where you get kudos, money, and validation. True leadership is taking responsibility for both our masculine and feminine aspects and to be feminine when we want to be. You can take care of yourself and also want to be with someone.
Owning your femininity can be very sexy.
Remember, we are the CEO of our soul and all departments need to report for duty. You can’t trust a neglected department. Trusting all dimensions of ourselves will make us better contributors to relationships. Trust and nurture your femininity.
Those who believe that getting an alpha man allows them to relinquish control because it will be the man who calls the shots. But if those women think it through they probably really don’t want to live like that. It’s the romantic, erotic aspect they want to relinquish, not their whole life.
Make a Connection:
“True partnership is a give and take between two people where each brings their strengths.”
“If you want to be taken you must be relaxed enough and soft enough to be taken.”
“The body holds the realm of pleasure and connection.”