Dating Den Episode 20 – With Sandy Weiner: How to Feel Like a Woman of Value So You Can Attract Men Who Aren’t a Waste of Your Time
A guy wants a woman who thinks she is the bomb-diggity-bomb!
Women who don’t value themselves end up as depressed people pleasers.
Do you want to know how to stop sabotaging good relationships?
Marni’s guest expert, Sandy Weiner is the dating coach behind Last, First Date. Sandy is devoted to helping women achieving healthy, toe-curling, epic love in the second half of their lives. She is a TEDx speaker, host of the Last, First Date Radio podcast and a dating coach who specializes in helping women effectively set clear boundaries. Her articles have been featured in the Huffington Post, Psychology Today and Mind Body Green, among others.
Women Don’t Value Themselves [10:18]
Why don’t women see themselves as worthy of more? Why do women give up on the good guys and fall for guys who are broke and wrong for them? Sandy says, relationships are not the same as work successes or being a mom. Our adult relationships are based on the home we grew up in and our relationships with our parents. This means any negativity we experienced as little girls may bleed into our adult romantic relationships. As young girls, women are led to believe a man won’t or can’t provide for them so they overperform.
Men Respond to the Because [14:30]
Men aren’t mind readers. They will do what women want if they know the ‘because’ or the ‘why’ behind the request. Tell a man how it makes you feel for them to help you with something. And, women should stop saying “I got this”. Men pick up on the message that they aren’t needed for anything. Women need to express their needs clearly.
Women of value speak up graciously.
Why Suffer Through Something You Don’t Want? [17:40]
Women sabotage themselves with good men because they don’t know how to speak up and say what they want. Why would someone suffer through something you don’t want? Clarity is a gift held by women of value.
Be creative with your dating.
Leading a Principled Life [26:21]
Sandy says it’s not about rules. It’s about a woman’s principles and dignity. If you live a principled life you do so in all aspects of your life. A woman of value works through her defenses so she is not triggered all the time. She creates a loving, amazing life and she is an inspiration to others. A woman of value has qualities similar to the qualities and values of a good leader. She understands men are not projects to be fixed.
Men are attracted to a woman of value.
Love Comes in Surprise Packages [30:40]
Women of value don’t make lists of what they want from a relationship because they don’t want to get locked into someone showing up exactly according to the list. A list of requirements does not leave much room for surprises and Sandy says, love comes in surprise packages.
Make a Connection With Sandy
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“It’s time women stop blaming men for everything.”
“Create the life you love to have the love life you want.”
“A woman of value has clarity. She can speak up graciously.”