Life Check Yourself Episode 349 – With Angie Hooper: Help. I’m Still So Mad at Him and I Can’t Let it Go
Marni welcomes Certified Master Coach Angie Hooper into the Life Check Studio to talk about letting things go. Angie shows professionals proven strategies to get to the roots of their stress, make values-based decisions, and make great relationships with their customers. She worked 20-plus years in corporate America for international publicly-traded companies. She shares how we can let go of past regrets, build mastery over stress, and unlock our intuition.
Takeaways from this episode:
- The path to forgiveness
- How to say I’m sorry
- Transform a pain story into a hero’s story
- Waiting for an apology is a waste of time
- Is justice really revenge?
The Forgiveness Path [3:10]
Angie created the forgiveness path when she was working with a client who was extremely angry at her ex-husband. The client couldn’t focus on the task at hand because a cloud of anger was getting in the way. Angie says we all may know that “forgive and forget” is commonly suggested during times of resentment; many people don’t realize how freeing it is.
Her client was putting all of her spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical energy into the past. It left very little energy left for the present or the future. She was giving someone else her power.
Our suffering does not impact the amount of suffering someone else endures.
Waiting for an Apology is a Waste of Time [13:19]
Waiting for an apology gives away control over our emotional state. We often give away our power to someone who has proven they don’t have our best interest at heart. They don’t deserve our power! When we get on the forgiveness path we pull back our power.
We judge apologies and the sincerity level of the apologizer.
When we are the injured party, insincere apologies can reinjure us. We judge the size of our pain against the size of the apology. When we do the forgiveness work we can make a clear decision about a path forward. A myth people have about forgiveness is thinking that it involves more than just them.
Achieving Forgiveness [23:10]
Angie says that a good way to get clear about what we need to forgive is to remember that the person we want to forgive probably remembers the same story differently.
Transform a pain story into a hero’s story.
Letting go of our need to be right will get us unstuck more deeply and faster than anything else we can do. We need to be willing to free ourselves by separating ourselves from our need to be right or win.