Dating Den Episode 244 – Bachelorette Recap with Chris Gillis: What We Are Saying About Being #SexPositive
Marni and Chris are back to dish about the newest season of the Bachelorette. Katie Thurston was a contestant on the Matt James Bachelor season and is now in the hot seat and looking for a life-long partner. She is authentic, playful, and #SexPositive. Let’s dive into the dating lessons that came out of the first episode of the new season.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- What being #sexpositive means
- How to be gracious when a guy is awkward
- Getting clear about your type
- The thoughtful gimmicks that worked on Katie
What Being #SexPositive Means [1:51]
Bachelorette Katie Thurston was on the Matt James Bachelor season. She brought the vibrator to the limo introduction. Know we get to know more about Katie and what she means when she declares herself #SexPositive.
Marni and Chris discuss how #SexPositive means you can do what you want and still feel good about being you. There is still resistance from some groups who hold on to the double standard that men can sleep around but, if a woman does it, she is slutty.
If you sleep with someone on the first date, does it ruin your chances at a long-term relationship?
Marni says when you wake up the next day and you still love yourself no matter what happened the night before, that is #SexPositivity. But, she cautions having sex with someone for the wrong reasons such as you think you will get them, you think that if you don’t they will not want to see you again, or you feel shitty afterward, or he doesn’t call and you beat yourself up. That is not dating with dignity.
Guys Get Awkward on First Dates Too [11:14]
Chris admits guys get nervous before first dates too. And, it is especially scary for guys to reach over and make the first kiss. He advises giving the guy a break much like Katie did with the guys who were nervous and sweating when meeting her. Remember, it is a produced show with lights, cameras, and crew all standing around. It can be unnerving.
The rule of thumb is to rule people in before you rule people out.
Does Bachelorette Katie Have a Type? [20:19]
At the beginning of the show, Katie says doesn’t really have a type and she is open to meeting all types of people but Marni recalls when one of the bachelors got out of the limo Katie said, “OMG, that guy is totally my type.”
Marni questions Chris about possible predictions about Katie’s type based on her backstory and childhood. It was clear she longs to fit in, Chris says. He adds, she might act tough or be secretly sensitive and then asks Marni if she feels Katie is ready to identify, appreciate, and nurture a long-term partner.
Marni likes Katie’s authenticity and playfulness but it is simply too early to tell how she will date. She says we, the audience, had our first date with Katie last night too. Marni speculates that Katie may want someone to fall in love with her because of her desire to belong or she may be interested in the fixer-upper type of guy.
