Dating Den Episode 74 – With Tristan Coopersmith: Scared to Say It? How to Get the Courage to Say What You Mean with Men
Have you ever NOT told a guy about your non-negotiables because you were afraid he would lose interest if you do…?
Do you always wait for him to say the ‘L word’ first… or at least a clear sign that he’s into you before you will tell him you like him…?
Have you ever stopped yourself from telling a guy what was in your heart… until it was too late?
Do you think back on situations with your exes and think things could have been different if you said something at the time?
Today’s guest, Tristan Coopersmith, is going to show you how to connect and start living out loud using your inner voice to create an authentic life. Tristan helps people unlock and unleash their true voice.
She is a licensed psychotherapist who helps women heal and release their past wounds so they can be free to identify, explore and share who they are.
She is the Founder of Life Lab, a women’s self-development sanctuary in Hermosa Beach. She conducts classes on self-love, self-awareness and personal growth. Her book, Menu Dating: Taste-Test Your Way to the Main Course is a must-have dating guide.
Our Voice is Our Portal to Freedom [4:57]
Tristan believes if we can completely unlock and fall in love with our voice, and understand that it’s meant to be heard all barriers are eliminated.
She says, our inner voice is our inner knowing. It’s the voice you hear when your eyes are closed and your gut tells you it’s the truth. It is this voice woman tend to be scared to listen to. Women often quiet their inner voice but we should be embracing it and using it to guide us through life.
If you want to connect to your inner voice when you are indecisive, flip a coin.
Effectively Expressing Our Truths [10:39]
Listening to our inner voice and translating it into our outer voice is an actual skill. It doesn’t matter how old we are if we have never learned how to do it we will have difficulty expressing ourselves.
When our communications chakra is developed in between the ages of seven and twelve, it sets the stage for the rest of our lives. If we only hear no, no, no it can have a big impact on if we believe if speaking our voice really matters.
Dismantling Communication Blocks [13:34]
If we try to avoid conflict in the outside world we only create a conflict within ourselves. Most of us have 5 or 6 core values that we base our decisions on. When someone doesn’t honor our core values we get shaken up on the inside.
Tristan says if something has offended you, consider if it goes against one of your core values and how long will it actually bother you.
Stepping Into Integrity and Speaking Your Mind [17:51]
We can’t fix other people we can only speak our truths. Tristan says it is important not to take on someone else’s issue on as our own. It is easy to create stories about our worth based on other peoples actions. But, it’s not healthy. We can only speak up for what we want with integrity based on our core values.
Bring forth apologies from a place of authenticity, not from a place of not feeling worthy.
Tap into your inner voice and say what you mean without being apologetic for it. Authenticity is attractive and it feels good!