Life Check Yourself Episode 313 – With Sherry Gaba: Signs of an Unhealthy Love Addiction — Red Flags to Look Out For
Does it feel like you’re a magnet for emotionally unavailable men… do they keep showing up in your life?
Do you keep attracting the same wrong guy with a different face…
Do the men you date come on strong, and then, after you sleep with them, pull away…
If any of these sound like and you’re wondering if there’s something wrong with you…
The truth is you may be struggling with ‘Love Addiction.’
Marni welcomes the foremost expert in unhealthy love addiction, Sherry Gaba to the podcast. Sherry is a licensed psychotherapist, life coach, and author who helps women cope with codependency, love addiction, toxic relationships, and all the mental health issues that go with it.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- Signs of love addiction and obsessive love
- Three types of trauma bonding in relationships
- Why we attract toxic relationships
- How to break free from the cycle of love addiction
- Being vulnerable to love bombers and predators
Am I Addicted to Love? [2:15]
Sherry shares the common signs and symptoms of love addiction. It is a lifestyle process addiction that has the same mood-altering effects as a physical addiction with withdrawal symptoms.
Many love addicts suffer from severe abandonment issues. They will turn themselves into a pretzel to do the bidding of the people they believe they love because they can’t stand to be alone.
How do you know if you are in a toxic relationship?
Love-Bombing and Devaluing [8:14]
Sherry describes love bombing as over-the-top courting and lavish gift-giving. Someone who is love bombing you will say your relationship is fated and that you are soul mates.
Codependent love addicts are prone to accepting a tsunami of affection because they need validation, and they want to be loved and needed. Sherry says we seek out people that fit into our unresolved childhood traumas.
Trauma Bonding & How to Have Healthy Relationships [22:18]
People get into toxic relationships for a myriad of reasons but a common theme is they feel bonded by trauma.
Sherry says there is no shame in feeling the way we do.
To meet someone with a mature attachment style we need to be working toward our mature attraction style.
When we find ourselves in a relationship and a guy suddenly bows out, or doesn’t stay for the long term it could be because he realizes he can’t meet our unhealthy needs.