Dating Den Episode 213 – Bachelor Recap: With Chris Gillis — How to Really Know if You Are Making the Right Kind of First Impression
Yay, Season 25 of The Bachelor is finally here! Marni and Man-panelist Chris Gillis join forces to extract the dating and relationship lessons from the interactions between the new Bachelor and the 30-women vying for his attention. Does 29-year-old, real-estate broker Matt James have what it takes to sift through the throng of amazingly diverse women and find his love?
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- How to make the right kind of first impression
- What not to say the first time you meet a guy
- How to release your ‘shoulds’ and find someone who shares your values
- Why women often lead with sexuality
The Diversity Dilemma [3:32]
Matt James voices the pressure he feels in being the first bi-racial Bachelor. With a black father and white mother, Matt says he must represent both black and white people. Marni describes this as a great dating lesson because when we date we find that we feel pressure, or have expectations about who we are supposed to be with. Often, this predisposition to date a certain type of person is based on our religion, economic status, or our parents.
We don’t realize the ‘shoulds’ that have been passed down to us. When dating, it is important to excavate these thoughts because we need to be looking for our right partner, not the partner we think we are supposed to have.
We all tend to type-cast people and then only date within those boxes.
Dating exercise:
- Make a list of your shoulds. Go through each one and inspect whether it matches a core value you have or if it was influenced by someone or something else.
Best and Worst First Impressions [13:09]
Marni does not think any of the women have the same level of ‘wow’ factor that Bachelorette’s Tayisha or Hannah had but she admits that it is early in the season. Time will tell. Chris says no one stuck out to him as a front runner either.
Others thought Katie, the girl who brought out the vibrator in a comic effort would get the first impression rose because she seemed to be carefree. Chris says he completely understands why she did not get the rose. He thought it was lame and that she was hiding behind the humor.
Bachelor Matt James chose to give Abigail the first impression rose.
If you have something you perceive as a flaw, figure out how to vulnerably share it sooner than later.
Being Relationship Ready [27:55]
Marni questions whether Bachelor Matt James is ‘relationship-ready’ after his comment about not knowing what love is and wondering if one of the women can help him break down his walls. Chris concurs saying, it is as if Matt wants the women to do his personal development work for him.
Will one of the women be accepting of his challenge? Will Matt be able to recognize love when it is offered? Next week’s recap will have additional insights.
