Dating Den Episode 255 – With Daniel Herrold: Dating After Divorce — How to Navigate New Men, New Friendships, and the New You
When you got divorced did you suddenly feel like you were somehow less?
Less beautiful, less desirable and less likely to find the next love of your life?
You’re definitely not alone.
The divorced women I talk to want to be pursued, adored and desired!
They want dating to be engaging, passionate and interesting! They want to tap into their fun, flirty, feminine selves so they can attract a magnetic, charming, successful and HOT quality guy…
Am I right?
Problem is with today’s disposable dating mentality, ghosting and flea-sized attention spans, it can be challenging!
Good thing this week Marni welcomes Daniel Herrold into the Den. Daniel is the co-founder of Divorced Over 40, a group that provides community to divorced men and women the world over who are in their 40s, 50s, and 60s. The community intends to foster and cultivate relationships and friendships organically. Divorced Over 40 has over 10,000 virtual members in 50 cities in 7 countries.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- Benefits of people who understand what you are going through
- Preparing yourself for a new life, post-divorce
- Meeting people in a group setting takes the edge off
- Cultivating friendships with members of the opposite sex
- Navigating dating without apps
Dating After Divorce is a Process [2:13]
Daniel was inspired to create Divorced Over 40 because he lost many of his friends when he got divorced. He needed time to heal and figure out who he was but still needed connection. He wanted to create a way for people to connect and build friendships post-divorce without the stigma of a culture that implies one must jump into the next relationship, or to date right away.
He says there is a season after divorce when people aren’t ready to date again. If they are healing or trying to figure out who they are. Even though the platform can be utilized as a springboard into dating, it is designed to create connections first.
People are at the height of their attractiveness when they don’t need a plus one.
Everyone is yearning for connection and many people are disenfranchised with the dating process and apps, Daniel says. His community provides an alternative for people to meet in a non-pressured way to build friendships.
Getting divorced offers the opportunity to reconnect with who you are.
It is possible to create a new life of rebirth and rediscovery after you have done the healing work. Daniel says many people start dating before they figure themselves out. Which ultimately wastes time because you end up with a lot of unaligned connections.
Navigating New Friendships [16:59]
It is important to have good intentions when investing in creating new connections. Go out and meet people more often. Daniel says consistency is the key growth factor of his community-building events.
Practice being open-hearted and having fun during your transition time after a divorce.
People can hold on to their old life because they are scared. Daniel says the common denominator is that everyone requires true connection. He adds that it is beneficial to have people who understand what you are going through because they have gone through similar things. They are likely more empathetic and understanding. because they get it.
Using Divorce Over 40’s connection tool to cultivate friendships post-divorce allows you to cultivate platonic friendships with the opposite sex. Something you may not have been able to do during a marriage. Know that after divorce it is possible to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex and share thoughts on dating, and relationships.