Dating Den Episode 28 – With Chris Seiter: How to Do a Breakup Without Turning Into the Psycho Ex-Girlfriend
Have you ever been obsessed with trying to get an ex-boyfriend back?
Are you staring at your inbox wanting him to text you?
Do you ever just show up at his place and make up a reason why you are there?
Did you just “fake-up” on Instagram in an attempt to make him call you?
If you identify with any of these psycho things you need to listen to this episode. Chris Seiter is a professional relationship consultant who specializes in breakups for men and women. Not only can he show you how to get over a breakup he can also tell you how to get back with an ex if it’s appropriate. Your Tango, Elite Daily, Reader’s Digest, and Life Hack all consider him an expert.
How Do You Know When It’s a Good Idea to Reconcile with Your Ex? [5:45]
If you are what Chris calls a GNAT, Going Nuts At Texting and he’s not responding you may be a psycho ex who has no chance at reconciliation. When someone is in the middle of heartbreak the same part of the brain is activated as when a drug addict is going through withdrawal. Chris recommends taking some time to re-assess how you feel and wait to reconcile when you don’t feel the heartbreak.
Men love the friend with benefits so watch out for ex’s who may only be calling you for the booty call.
The Grass is Greener Syndrome [11:05]
The grass is greener syndrome is when your husband or boyfriend wonders if he can do better than you. He decided he wants to breakup and then decides he can’t do better than you so he wants you back. Do you really want this guy in your life ladies?
The No Contact Rule
Ignore your ex for 21-45 days.
Facilitate your own personal growth.
Invoke a mirroring of effort.
He says 80% of women end up failing from the no contact rule! You are breaking an addiction. He says to find a way to make the voice in your head disgusting. This way when the voice inside your head tells you to do something (like text your ex) you will not want to do it. It takes incredible discipline but it works.
Focus all of your energy towards yourself instead of your ex!
Breaking Up Without Probable Cause [21:53]
Many successful relationships boil down to timing. Finding an emotionally mature man is difficult enough. Why would you think this one guy is the ultimate, perfect match out of the billions of people on earth?
Getting an Ex Back [28:45]
Believe it or not, moving on is one of the best things you can do to get your ex back. Your energy shifts when you move on and it gets communicated through the vibes you give off. This is the only method that works consistently. Chris says, clients try to fake moving on and it doesn’t work. You have to actually move on.
Are You Obsessing About Your Ex? [34:33]
Turn your obsessive energy inward and focus on yourself. And, even though it has a negative stigma try a rebound relationship. One of THE best ways to get over your ex is a rebound relationship. If the new guy treats you better than your ex you may not want him back.
Ladies, a rebound relationship doesn’t mean you should sleep around.
Is It Possible to Restart the Relationship? [38:13]
Chris recommends seeking out a dating coach or therapist when times are good. Therapy doesn’t always mean there are problems in the relationship. A check-up with an impartial third-party can help a relationship survive.
There are no two relationships are alike. One solution is not good for all.
Make a Connection:
“Timing is a huge factor in having a successful relationship.”
“Talking with a relationship coach when times are good is an important annual check-up.”
“If an ex texts you put the same amount of effort in your reply. If he sends lol, you send ok.”