Dating Den Episode 263 – How To Date Multiple People With Dignity To Accelerate Your Journey to Love with Chris Gillis
Marni and Chris get together to discuss what insane people do when they are dating that they don’t think they do. After watching the double episode of Bachelor in Paradise, Marni took away the obvious dating lessons to share. If you think the way to get a quality guy is to be the ‘cool girl’ or you are afraid to commit because you don’t want to miss out, there are great lessons for you in this episode.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Why to Date Multiple People Simultaneously
- Break Patterns of Self-Sabotage
- Being Resilient in Dating
- Confidence is Attractive
What Makes 40 Year Old Kenny So Desirable? [2:13]
What makes Kenny the most desirable guy in this group? Kenny is 40 and relatively mature. Chris thinks all the chicks are fighting over him because he seems to be comfortable in his own skin. Kenny is dating with dignity. He is not doing douche-baggy things. He makes it clear he is ready for a long-term relationship.
Mari tells Kenny she wants to date other people. He responds by telling her he will be doing the same. And, while dating multiple people at the same time is dignified and can help you figure out who will make a good partner. The way Mari delivered the message left a lot to be desired.
Kenny is dating multiple people at the same time to find a long-term partner.
Marni says if you are afraid to commit and are dating someone who has self-worth, when you tell the other person you want to see other people, you should mean it. A person who has self-worth, like Kenny, will not take it personally and do what you suggest. Kenny slept with Demi shortly after Mari spoke with him.
Quality Guys Get Bored When You Self-Sabotage [20:07]
If you have a pattern of sabotaging your relationships, it is likely guys you are dating will become disinterested. Consider if you are putting all of your cards on the table, or whether you make it too hard for him to take things to the next level. He might just get bored and find someone else who is easy to date.
Abigail is an example of someone who doesn’t open up and reciprocate feelings. She admits to being a self-sabotager but she can’t seem to break the pattern. Noah says he will try to break down her walls but after a while, he will become disinterested. It is tragic.
How to Be Resilient in Dating [29:28]
Aaron displays a great example of resilience after Tammy dumps him. Even though he was really bummed out he did not let it impact his ability to stay true to his goal. He didn’t take it personally, he didn’t go into victim, and he shifted his energy.
If someone informs you they want to stop dating, give yourself time to be bummed out but get over it. Stay in the game and make another connection.
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