Dating Den Episode 211 – With Patty Contenta: How to Be Authentic and Playful to Make Sure You Get a Second Date
Do you wait to check the mood of the room before becoming playful and flirty? Do you let your date set the tone of the evening first? If you are not stepping into your sensuality every day when you do get frisky may feel fake. To delve deep into how to create desire Marni welcomes Founder of Sensuality Secrets and Dance Consultant, Patty Contesta into the Den. Patty shares tips on how to embrace your sensuality and create desire.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- How to be curious and open on a date
- Get out of your head and into your body
- Elevate the senses and be present in the moment
- Non-verbal cues a man responds to
Be Flirty & Playful for Yourself First [2:48]
Many women are looking for a man to be playful first before opening up and embracing their own playfulness. Patty says in order to create the right energy, we have to bring our playfulness to the table first. A date should be fun for us regardless of what happens with the other person.
Just because your date picks a fancy restaurant doesn’t mean you can not bring your flirty feminine side to the structured environment. Make the environment your playground by being present and using all your senses to turn up the dial.
Making the most of being real and in-the-moment is allowing your walls to come down, to be curious and open. The guy may or may not respond in kind but it is the perfect opportunity to collect data about him.
Create Desirability [11:04]
Our physical bodies are like antennas. They are always sending and receiving energetic messages. When we allow ourselves to use non-verbal communication we can fire up feelings of desire. Small physical movements throughout the day can get us out of our heads and relax our bodies.
Desire relates to the feeling of yearning for something to happen. It ignites the imagination and allows us to savor experiences. On dates, many women are afraid to feel desire because they get stuck in their heads and are trying to measure up.
The ingredients to create desirability are:
Sensuality — The ability to elevate the senses.
Managing Sexual Energy — Triggering a sense of vitality and vibrancy.
Embracing Feminine Energy — Asking for what you want.
Women often underestimate the power of asking a man for something they want.
Patty says that when you verbalize what you want it causes connection with a guy because all he wants is instructions and feedback.
Shift Into Sensual [20:58]
The best way to shift into your most sensual self is to modify simple daily tasks, such as walking, and incorporate sensuality into it. For example, sauntering down a hallway may take an extra five seconds but the extra time gives our senses a chance to appreciate our environment.
Patty says that people seem to have forgotten how to take their time and to do things with intention. She says in order for our bodies to fully calibrate and integrate the information our minds know, we need daily practice. It reminds both our bodies and our minds that we are sensual beings.
We have to love being with ourselves because if we don’t create the playful, sensual being in our own time we will feel like we are faking it when we attempt to embody it. If we practice a little every day, we build our confidence and we own the feeling when we want to be playful.
There is a way to walk that creates a bit more mystery and adds rhythm to our day. Having inner thigh awareness can shift the entire vibe of our body. The sensual, seductive feminine walks with inner thigh awareness.
Inner thigh awareness is considering every step you take has more to do with your behind than your front.
Women need to balance their mental, physical, and emotional selves. Our bodies are more than a transportation system for our heads. A slow drip is what allows us to appreciate a thing’s deliciousness. It is not wise to rush through everything.