Life Check Yourself Episode 307 – With Ed Coambs: How Knowing Your Attachment Style Can Stop Money Issues from Damaging Your Relationships
Imagine you met ‘The One’…
You know that hot, handsome, evolved, successful guy.
And he’s just the right combination of Alpha and thoughtful. Right for you in every way.
He adores you. Loves you. And wants to be with you, permanently.
Your priorities line up. Your values line up. Physically you line up. It feels like a perfect fit. Or perfect for you.
But there’s one big fly in the ointment…
Something you’re having trouble reconciling.
Not that he doesn’t have any.
But you two are definitely not aligned over finances. Spending and saving. Investing. All of it. And the way he is with money makes you feel… insecure.
Do you take the plunge anyway?
What if you make a commitment or get married and this one issue becomes THE issue?
It’s more common than you think!
Marni welcomes renowned financial guru and the founder of HealthyLoveandMoney.com, Ed Coambs into the Life Check Yourself studio. Ed helps couples deal with their money stuff. He is recognized as a thought leader who offers financial therapy. He leads couples through therapy from financial despair and frustration into financial intimacy and connection.
Key Takeaways from this Episode:
- How to practice financial empathy
- Solving money issues in a healthy way
- Discover your money attachment style
- The best time to talk about money when dating
Practicing Financial Empathy [1:54]
Ed says money conflict is not equal to other types of conflict. Money conflicts are more damaging to relationships than other types of conflict.
Money represents security, safety, and freedom and it means different things to different people. Money can take on any meaning we give it. We use money for so many different purposes, psychologically speaking, it makes it a loaded topic.
We did not choose most of our early money situations. We were born into them. Those starting financial points left indelible impressions that will be with us for our entire life. If we don’t reconcile and deal with them.
Money Attachment Styles [20:49]
Ed says he didn’t believe that attachment style had anything to do with money issues when he first began his business. But, when he began reflecting on his money history, upbringing, and spending or saving habits he recognized the cause and effect. He says it is a challenging journey to go on, but it is liberating.
For adults who are trying to form and maintain loving, safe, and intimate relationships it is important for them to form new patterns.
Make Healthy Emotional Money Decisions [29:58]
Ed says the first step into shifting your relationship with money is to become aware that you have a relationship with money. Then, work with someone qualified to help you work through it.