Dating Den Episode 45 – With Dr. Diana Kirshcner: Do You Have An ‘Oy Friend’? Understanding How Your Brain And Body Get Addicted To Bad Boys And What To Do About It Now
Do you feel uncomfortable dating more than one guy at a time? Do you seem to attract men who make your Jewish mother (that’s me, if you don’t have the pleasure of having one of your own) explain “oy vey?” Well, my guest today thinks you should be dating 3 guys at once, get rid of the “oyfriend,” and she tells you why!
My guest on today’s podcast is Psychologist, Dr. Diana Kirschner. Dr. Diana has been featured on Oprah, she is a reoccurring guest on the Today show and she starred in a PBS special on LOVE which was based on her best-selling book Love in 90 Days. Dr. Diana has just released a new book called Find Your Soulmate Online in 6 Simple Steps.
She has helped thousands of successful women date and meet terrific partners, to deepen their existing relationships and to create a lasting love.
The Most Important Thing a Successful Woman Can Do to Find a Lasting Relationship [3:01]
Women are often blinded by the myth that true love is just supposed to happen to us. Dr. Diana says it’s a bunch of BS. The best thing successful women can do to find a lasting relationship is to get a mentor. Women get mentoring for work but not for love and love is more difficult than work.
And, why do we keep attracting those bad for us guys – the “oyfriend?” Our wounded inner child is so hungry for love that we attract men who treat us poorly, leaving us to ignore the things that we know aren’t right. If we focus on creating our Diamond Self-Identity, instead, we create our own possibilities for love.
Why Does Brain Chemistry Make Women Make Bad Choices? [9:30]
Oxytocin is a bonding chemical which is released in the body during sex, when touching another person and when you have a child. It is a chemical designed to physically tie you to another person. To avoid this “drug” being released when you are with the wrong guy, Dr. Diana recommends rocking your “diamond self,” dating three guys at the same time but not having sex with any of them.
The Discovery & Learning Process of Dating [17:58]
Dating three guys at the same time is fun and full of discovery. Successful women will learn about their own wants and needs as well as about which guys rise to the top. Dr. Diana says your dance card doesn’t always have to have the same three guys on it. If one guy drops off you can always start dating someone new. Plus, there is nothing better for your self-esteem!
4 Ways to Heal Heartbreak [22:55]
- Tell your story to a loving friend and avoid isolation.
- Meditation or another spiritual practice can be soothing.
- Get active to stimulate your endorphins.
- Keep your calendar full.