Dating Den Episode 79 – With Geneen Roth: Defining Enough – How to Find Joy in Today’s ‘Gotta Have More’ Society
Do you struggle with always wanting more?
Do you often find yourself never feeling satisfied?
Thanks to our spectacular guest Geneen Roth, this episode of the Dating Den will help you to find the satisfaction you seek through three simple principles: living in the present, appreciating the orindary things in life, and loving yourself for who you are.
Geneen is the author of ten books, including three New York Times best sellers. She holds retreats to help women across the nation with their body image issues. She’s been featured on the View, Oprah, the Today Show and more.
She is the Guru of Gratitude and the Siren of Satisfaction, and now she’s here in the den to start you on your path to fulfillment.
Geneen Shares Her Personal Struggle [4:28]
Starting at the tender age of 11 and lasting for many years of her life, Geneen felt fat and repulsive. She would radically change her diet, switching from coffee and cigarettes to Atkins to Weight Watchers. She was so ashamed by her eating habits that it made her feel repulsive, deeply affecting her sense of self-worth and self-respect.
She continued to struggle with her weight and with food, until she realized that it wasn’t really about the food. She came to understand that her unhealthy relationship with food was just a vehicle for expressing her internal self-loathing and depression.
The real problem wasn’t the food. It was that at her core, she truly believed she was unlovable and damaged.
If I (fill in the blank) Then I Will… [7:44]
Not everyone struggles with food in particular, but everybody has the ‘if…then” mentality about some aspect of their life. Geneen says it is a human dilemma that stems from our inability to remain in the present moment.
Our minds are always projecting and living forward. The ultimate challenge for us is to learn how to show up today.
So, how do we move from fixing ourselves to finding ourselves?
Geneen advises us to stop where we are, to take a breath, and to become aware of who and where we are. In her fantastic new book, This Messy Magnificent Life: A Field Guide, Geneen writes about disengaging from our judgemental voices. Our judgemental voices are not our friends.
Instead of listening to our inner critic, we should be asking ourselves, ‘what is not wrong right now?’.
98% of us are worrying about the future instead of appreciating now.
Practicing Gratitude [24:05]
In our quick-fix culture, everyone seems to want immediate, instant gratification. Tuning this out and being grateful for the ordinary, unremarkable moments in life is a surefire way to finding joy in our lives.
But changing the way we think requires more than a one-time effort. Geneen says we need to take small, daily steps to become comfortable with this new practice. The process is explained in This Messy Magnificent Life.
When we ask ourselves ‘what isn’t wrong right now’ we start to appreciate all the things that are right.