Dating Den Episode 221 –Bachelor Recap: With Chris Gillis — Bouncing Back from Rejection Like a Queen and That One Thing He Does That Will Let You Know He is Unavailable
On this week’s Bachelor recap, Marni and Chris give Bachelor Matt James the one-two punch. He is leading the girls on creating a false sense of intimacy with them but then only makes a play for the emotionally unavailable ladies. Marni points out the pink and red flags she sees on the show and offers advice on how to spot them in your dating life.
Key takeaways from this episode:
- Realize your self-worth or value
- How to pick yourself up after a breakup
- How to identify a guy who is leading you on
- Rejected by a guy? It means nothing about who you are
- Watch out for guys who create a false sense of intimacy
Low Self-Worth = Overcompensation [1:48]
Some of the ladies seem to have forgotten that this experience is essentially a ‘dating’ game. It appears they are overcompensating for their limiting beliefs about what they deserve. Many believe if they get sent home it is a reflection of their self-worth or value.
In reality, it doesn’t matter how awesome you are, if there is something that isn’t working you may not be maximizing your opportunities. The women who will make it to the end are the ones who don’t make mistakes because it is a competition.
Never feel like you were not enough for someone. You may not be the person for them but you ARE enough.
Chris asks Marni about the process of shaking off rejection. Understanding that some ladies are just naturally emotional, Marni says, “If you are the puddle on the floor person it is important to start looking at your patterns. Do you give all your power away to men all the time? Consider the core beliefs creating your feelings of not-enoughness. Do you have abandonment issues?”
You are enough!
So Many Pink and Red Flags on the Bachelor [17:47]
During the show, Heather does a pizza box dance. Her makeup was perfect. Chris says she was putting on a show just for the camera and the audience. Matt immediately gave the cold shoulder to the girls he was talking to and only paid attention to Heather. His actions and words don’t mix. Matt has a pattern of physically removing himself from the ladies. Pink flags abound.
Matt James is attracted to the emotionally unavailable gals. The girls are trying to be vulnerable, but he is just a guy that leads women on.
Advice for the girls who are trying to figure Matt out, he may not be worth your time. Marni says he is a F*c$boy. If a guy seems too good to be true and he doesn’t share anything about himself, move on.
That type of guy can be nice. They are not purposefully malicious but they know how to get ladies to keep running back to them. Women can become emotionally attached because they get a shot of oxytocin and it creates a feeling of intense intimacy.
Is Matt James Leading the Girls On? [36:01]
Chris says no matter how hard ABC is trying to sell Matt as Prince Charming it is not working. Matt is just another emotionally unavailable guy in a pretty package. Even Matt’s Instagram followers ask him why he is so boring on the show.
Marni says Matt doesn’t seem to be looking for love, just an increase in followers. She doesn’t believe any relationship he gets into will last very long. He is like a computer and just wants to be liked.
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