Dating Den Episode 5 – With Mat Boggs: 7 Steps to Get What You Want from Men
Today, I am talking with one of the most sought after dating coaches and relationship experts in the world. Mat Boggs is the Best Selling author of Project Everlasting and co-founder of the Life Mastery Institute. He has been featured on the Today show, CNN and Oprah and Friends.
Mat shares how we can generate a state of being open to a loving relationship, he gives us a morning ritual to make sure we are taking care of ourselves (so we can attract what we want into our lives) and he outlines the 7 steps of the Sweaty 10-Minute Conversation.
Are You Happy with the Results You Are Getting? [4:35]
With family holiday parties are right around the corner, I ask Matt what should single girls do when cornered in the kitchen and asked about their love life.
Matt says, the question of how your relationship is going doesn’t have to bring up feelings of shame. If you are single – There is nothing wrong with you. Let people know you are enjoying your time being single!
Get to the root of why you feel like we are flawed or a loser for not having a partner. It’s because you are not self-loving yourself enough. It takes a level of awareness to decide what you really want. It’s all about shifting your results to create and attract love.
“Match the frequency of the reality you want and it must be yours.” ~ Albert Einstein
Creating Meaning Out of Any Connection, Even A Negative One [14:36]
When people reach out to you or comment about your love life you can feel uncomfortable or you can create meaning for their questions. Once you realize any connection is a call for love, it puts their query in a different light.
Any action is a call for love no matter how unskilled.
Maybe, ask Grandma to do the ring check when hot men visit their family at the nursing home. The more eyes you have on the prize the more likely you will win! Remember, to use the opportunity to connect more deeply with people.
Personal Development Tools:
- Become aware of your thoughts as you are thinking them.
- Just because you are thinking something doesn’t mean you have to act on it.
- Practice advanced decision making by body position.
- Self-care can be practiced when you need it to shift your vibration.
7 Tools for the 10 Minute Sweaty Conversation [28:04]
Unspoken expectation bring up a lot of issues in relationships. Plus, it is not always easy to bring up your unmet expectations without adding a little fuel to the fire. If the relationship is meant to be your communication will be accepted. If you are uncomfortable bringing it up with your man it may be time to take a closer look at who he is on the inside.
Squeeze the orange early and often.
Matt created this set of tools from a concept Gaye Hendricks originally designed. Follow these steps to have more effective conversations with your partner about your expectations, met or unmet:
- Teach this system to your partner when things are good.
- Make sure your man will hear you by asking him when is a good time to have the conversation.
- Give your man the intention or the outcome you want.
- Here is what I see…
- Here is how I feel…
- Here is what I want…
- Seek common ground.
If you don’t like the result, take the responsibility for communicating differently. Give your man a path to be the man you want him to be.
Remove the words “never” and “always” from your conversations!
Make a Connection with Mat!
Make a Connection with Marni:
“Put your palms up to the sky, put your head all the way back, smile as big as you can and create the image of what you want.”
“Women sometimes forget that men are human.”
“Ladies, remove the words always and never from your sweaty conversations!”