Dating With Dignity

There are so many moments in our lives when we feel stuck. We see how we want to be, yet recognize that the negative thoughts and feelings we have are the result of certain triggers, such as situations or people, that make us feel powerless, reconnect us to the pain we are trying to leave behind, or create icky feelings of frustration. What’s most difficult is that it can happen when we least expect it, even during those moments when we are feeling super groovy.

When you are triggered, however, it doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck in this icky feeling. There are techniques you can use to become aware of your reactions and then take responsibility for changing your thoughts, feelings, and actions to catapult yourself to a new level of awareness, happiness, and, ultimately, love of self and others.

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“Why am I still single?”

This question plagues just about every woman who comes to Dating With Dignity for coaching. Invariably, before coming to me for help, she has asked this same question of her girlfriends, her mother, her best male friend, and even her therapist. More often than not, when a woman comes to me for coaching, she has enjoyed success in so many other areas of her life, but has been unsuccessful at finding and/or keeping a loving relationship; and she is, to put it simply, mystified.

“It doesn’t make sense,” she declares. “Why?” she asks again. “Why am I STILL single?”

If you are asking yourself—and your friends, family, and mental health professionals—this question, I can help. The first step is examining the often contradictory and self-defeating beliefs that lie deep in your heart—beliefs you may not have admitted to yourself, let alone anyone else. These beliefs are likely the biggest obstacles standing between you and the relationship you desire. Once you’ve uncovered these beliefs, you’ll be ready to shed the “It doesn’t make sense” mantra and get on with making the changes necessary to find
the relationship of your dreams.

So, Why Are You Still Single?

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If you’re going to be in the L.A. area on Monday, September 12 at 7pm, click here to register for our live event: How to Master Feminine Communication and Get What You Need Without Being a Bitch, Shedding a Tear, or Slamming the Door!

While some men just aren’t Mr. Boyfriend Material, others just need clear communication from you about what you want, need, and expect from them. To make things trickier, many women have difficulty articulating exactly what they are looking for. That said, imagine if you knew the following:

• Exactly what you want in a partner—including his values and goals in life.
• How to effectively communicate your needs and expectations without having to be bitchy, brash or judgmental.
• Simple ways to set boundaries to allow the possibility of a relationship to unfold, before you knee-jerk kick him to the curb.

In order to get your needs met you have to be able to articulate exactly what you need, and then be able to communicate those needs in a way that is appropriate, kind, compassionate, and reveals your true, authentic self.

Here are three steps you can take right now to begin to clearly express your desires to the man in your life so that you can begin getting what you want:

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When he seems to be perfect “on paper,” it is very difficult to know how long you should wait for him to make a long-term commitment. There are no hard and fast rules about how much time is enough for a man to decide whether or not he wants to commit to you. Different types of men and relationships will require different approaches. Here are several different types of men, along with ideas about how to approach each to determine whether or not there is long-term potential.

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