Posts Tagged ‘Valentine’s Day’
How to be Single and Happy During Valentine’s Day – Step 4: Master Skills
When it comes to being single, there are no days like Hallmark Holidays that can bring on feelings of dread, sadness, hopelessness, anger and good old disappointment. (I know this, as I was divorced and single for six years after my 19 year marriage to a man I met at 19 years old) What’s worse is that for most these women, it’s not just Valentine’s Day itself that makes them feel the ick. The truth is, the dread can begin as soon as the third week of January approaches (that’s typically when the New Year “high” begins to fade, the guys at the gym aren’t really that interesting, and the few dates from your new membership on Match.com were less than thrilling) which results in a downward spiral that can be tough to endure.
As a result, it’s important to have a plan; a blueprint of sorts that can enable you to master your happiness factor even when the crap feelings surface, despite your best intentions.
Introducing YOUR plan for Valentine’s Day – The Dating With Dignity C.A.L.M. Process.
The C.A.L.M. Process is a Four-Step Plan to ensure that you are always able to be that CAUSE of your feelings, rather than the effect. Because it is when we allow ourselves to fall victim to the “inner critic” voice inside that whispers, “you are not good enough,” or “it will never happen for me,” that life gets tricky and sends your “attraction factor” plummeting. And when that happens, it doesn’t matter how much you “wish” for a date on February 14th.
So take a deep breath, realize that this Valentine’s Day Season does not have to be like any other you have ever had, and dig into how to stay CALM amidst the “red” holiday hooplah.
There are four components to the C.A.L.M Process:
C – CHANGE Your Mindset
A – ADJUST it Always
L – LOVE Yourself
M – MASTER your SKILLS
Today, we will dig into why it’s important to realize that the skills you need may be those you were never taught, get an insight into what skills will bring the fastest results, and provide three tips you can begin now to ensure that you have a C.AL.M. Valentine’s Day Season.
07
02 2011
How to be Single and Happy During Valentine’s Day – Part 3: Love Yourself
When it comes to being single, there are no days like Hallmark Holidays that can bring on feelings of dread, sadness, hopelessness, anger and good old disappointment. (I know this, as I was divorced and single for six years after my 19 year marriage to a man I met at 19 years old) What’s worse is that for most these women, it’s not just Valentine’s Day itself that makes them feel the ick. The truth is, the dread can begin as soon as the third week of January approaches (that’s typically when the New Year “high” begins to fade, the guys at the gym aren’t really that interesting, and the few dates from your new membership on Match.com were less than thrilling) which results in a downward spiral that can be tough to endure.
As a result, it’s important to have a plan; a blueprint of sorts that can enable you to master your happiness factor even when the crap feelings surface, despite your best intentions.
Introducing YOUR plan for Valentine’s Day – The Dating With Dignity C.A.L.M. Process.
The C.A.L.M. Process is a Four-Step Plan to ensure that you are always able to be that CAUSE of your feelings, rather than the effect. Because it is when we allow ourselves to fall victim to the “inner critic” voice inside that whispers, “you are not good enough,” or “it will never happen for me,” that life gets tricky and sends your “attraction factor” plummeting. And when that happens, it doesn’t matter how much you “wish” for a date on February 14th.
So take a deep breath, realize that this Valentine’s Day Season does not have to be like any other you have ever had, and dig into how to stay CALM amidst the “red” holiday hooplah.
There are four components to the C.A.L.M Process:
C – CHANGE Your Mindset
A – ADJUST it Always
L – LOVE Yourself
M – MASTER your SKILLS
Today, we will dig into why it’s important to love yourself, not just conceptually, but love yourself as you would another.
06
02 2011
How to be Single and Happy During Valentine’s Day – Part 2: Adjust Always
When it comes to being single, there are no days like Hallmark Holidays that can bring on feelings of dread, sadness, hopelessness, anger and good old disappointment. (I know this, as I was divorced and single for six years after my 19 year marriage to a man I met at 19 years old) What’s worse is that for most these women, it’s not just Valentine’s Day itself that makes them feel the ick. The truth is, the dread can begin as soon as the third week of January approaches (that’s typically when the New Year “high” begins to fade, the guys at the gym aren’t really that interesting, and the few dates from your new membership on Match.com were less than thrilling) which results in a downward spiral that can be tough to endure.
As a result, it’s important to have a plan; a blueprint of sorts that can enable you to master your happiness factor even when the crap feelings surface, despite your best intentions.
Introducing YOUR plan for Valentine’s Day – The Dating With Dignity C.A.L.M. Process:
The C.A.L.M. Process is a Four-Step Plan to ensure that you are always able to be that CAUSE of your feelings, rather than the effect. Because it is when we allow ourselves to fall victim to the “inner critic” voice inside that whispers, “you are not good enough,” or “it will never happen for me,” that life gets tricky and sends your “attraction factor” plummeting. And when that happens, it doesn’t matter how much you “wish” for a date on February 14th.
So take a deep breath, realize that this Valentine’s Day Season does not have to be like any other you have ever had, and dig into how to stay CALM amidst the “red” holiday hooplah.
There are four components to the C.A.L.M Process:
C – CHANGE Your Mindset
A – ADJUST it Always
L – LOVE Yourself
M – MASTER your SKILLS
A – ADJUST it Always
L – LOVE Yourself
M – MASTER your SKILLS
Today, we will discover why you must always ADJUST your mindset so that you are no longer at risk of letting the circumstance of your past become a prediction of your future.
In my experience I have come to believe that there is an emotional “urban legend” run amok. An urban legend that states once you do “work” on yourself, or have a breakthrough, you will never again be susceptible to feelings of self doubt, fear, sadness, or anger. I work with men and women who become so frustrated that they are having feelings, when in fact, it is these feelings they “signed up” for when deciding to venture into the world of connection with other humans who wander the planet!
As a result of this, it is critical to understand deeply that as life “happens,” you will be triggered, angered, disappointed, frustrated, sad, as well as ecstatic! This is life! And, when you sign up to date, you are signing up to be IN your life as a full participant.
That’s why it’s imperative that you master the skills necessary to ALWAYS adjust your mindset back to it’s happy “set-point” without having to beat yourself up for it first.
In the work I do using the Core Energy Model, lower energetic vibrations (I call them Level 1: Victim Thoughts and Level 2: Conflict Thoughts can have a horrid systemic impact on your wellness. In addition to loading you up with stress-related hormones such as cortisol, you may feel anxious, worried, apathetic or lethargic. It is in moving to Level 3 – Coping, that allows you to raise your energy vibration into a more positive frequency.
The bottom line is this: In order to “Adjust Always” you must stop pointing the finger, assigning blame or feel disempowered. Making adjustments requires that you take responsibility for your mindset.
Use the following strategies to make adjustments to your mindset when you feel yourself plummeting into the “Red Zone” during Valentine’s Day Season:
- Shift your thinking from “poor me” to “what’s in it for me.” Begin to think of how you will gain from shifting your mindset. Create a mental list of the benefits you will enjoy from changing your thoughts and get into positive action.
- If your negative thoughts are making you feel pressured because you are judging yourself or others, create a strategy to be of service to others instead of self-centered thinking. Make a gratitude list.
- Imagine what you would say to a friend if she were in your shoes. Think of another way to look at the situation, and then once again remember what it costs you if you DO NOT adjust back into the positive mindset you worked so hard to achieve.
- Remember that all feelings are TEMPORARY. Allow yourself to have a pity party and allow the feelings to flow THROUGH you instead of trying to push them aside. Set a time limit for the “Party” and then choose to return to the positive thoughts you created in STEP 1 on the C.A.L.M. Process.
- Do a meditative centering activity, connect with a supportive friend (rather than a friend who is a “Debbie Downer), read a self-help book or listen to your favorite uplifting MP3, get involved in a spiritual community, or volunteer for an organization that touches your heart.
Want to know more about how you can ADJUST your mindset this Valentine’s Day Season? Make sure you opt-in to receive the C.A.L.M coaching video series over the next few days in which I will give you more tips, introduce new techniques and give you daily homework to ensure that this Valentine’s Day Season is one filled with calm, peace, confidence, hope and joy – the things that the men you want are looking for in a long-term partner!
Take this opportunity to get 4 FREE coaching videos!
Just enter your information below to gain instant access to the entire series!
This FREE video series will help you:
- Change your mindset (release the baggage)
- Adjust always (be dynamic, get peace of mind)
- Love yourself (exude authentic self-confidence)
- Master your ability to move through & beyond “The Gap”
** Just enter your name and email above and you get access to all 4 videos immediately!
05
02 2011
How to Be Single on Valentine’s Day
If Valentine’s Day were a person I would be defending her, taking her to lunch to help “pump” her up, and unabashedly wondering why people are avoiding her at all costs. I mean, geez, she’s just a pink and red Hallmark holiday moment. She doesn’t smell. Dress weird, or have bad breath.
It seems the truth is, or at least what seems like the truth based on all the email blasts I have been getting from love coaches in the last few days, is that if you are single on this holiday then you should accordingly be depressed, sad, hopeless and bitter. You should need to take a class to feel better, be mad that the guy you have been casually dating hasn’t “stepped up” to the plate. If you are in a relationship, you should feel “bad” for putting pressure on your beloved to show up with a bit of romance on Sunday. In fact, one email I got said that she and her partner were “boycotting” Valentine’s Day because they show love towards one another daily.
STOP the presses. REALLY, now. Does Valentine’s Day deserve to be trashed?
31
01 2011
Why Is Everyone Being So Mean to Valentine’s Day?
If Valentine’s Day were a person I would be defending her, taking her to lunch to help “pump” her up, and unabashedly wondering why people are avoiding her at all costs. I mean, geez, she’s just a pink and red Hallmark holiday moment. She doesn’t smell. Dress weird, or have bad breath.
It seems the truth is, or at least what seems like the truth based on all the email blasts I have been getting from love coaches in the last few days, is that if you are single on this holiday then you should accordingly be depressed, sad, hopeless and bitter. You should need to take a class to feel better, be mad that the guy you have been casually dating hasn’t “stepped up” to the plate. If you are in a relationship, you should feel “bad” for putting pressure on your beloved to show up with a bit of romance on Sunday. In fact, one email I got said that she and her partner were “boycotting” Valentine’s Day because they show love towards one another daily.
STOP the presses. REALLY, now. Does Valentine’s Day deserve to be trashed?
