We’ve invited a panel of stellar dating and relationship experts to share their insights on how to maximize your date-ability and relationship-readiness during the challenging holiday season.  Please visit our blog from December 15- January 1, as each day we’ll have a new expert weigh in.

Honing in on Your Holiday Date-ability Inventory

By David Wygant

It’s the season that the invitations for get-togethers are flowing and the holiday office parties are right around the corner. When it comes to times of year when singles obsess about their “date-ability” factor, the end-of-the-year holidays rank right up there with Valentine’s Day.

With this weighing on you, now is a great time to do your year-end inventory. Take this opportunity to take into consideration how your year, your friends and your life really turned out in the past 12 months. Let all that holiday cheer slap a smile on your face. By the time New Year’s Day rolls around, you’ll be ready to start anew.

That’s really the mentality of many people: January 1 comes, clean slate, we get to start all over again, we have all these ridiculous New Year’s resolutions, and then we get to break them throughout the course of the year to get to the end of December again.

But here’s a truth that most people are not saying: You’re also bringing all of your old habits, you’re bringing all of your past experiences with you into the next year.  You can’t escape you, no matter what you do.  There’s no escape.  And there shouldn’t be.

So what should you be doing this December while you’re really cleaning house for the holidays and doing your year-end inventory?  You need to ask yourself: Do you really possess all the skills that you desire to go out there and meet all the men you want to meet next year?  Do you even know how to put yourself out there and attract and flirt with men?

Are you a woman who’s waiting for men to approach you over and over again, and hope that you find the right location to meet men next year so they can approach you?  If so, I call you the passive waiter.  No matter where you are, you’re always hoping and waiting for something to happen.  You’re always hoping that if you go out, some man will come over and want to meet you.

January 1 is not going to change that.  The end of the year is coming, and it’s time that you are more honest with yourself.  What do you need to learn in order to attract men?  What type of mind set changes do you need to have?  And are you still the kind of woman who is waiting, hoping, and praying you meet the right guy?

Take a look at the number of dates you’ve gone on this year and ask yourself, are you happy with that number?  Now I want you to go even deeper with yourself and ask yourself this question: how do you increase that number?  I can tell you one thing from my years of experience coaching women all over the country:  it’s going to take work, it’s going to take an effort, and it’s going to take more than getting dressed and standing around.  It’s going to take more than just depositing yourself at the right social scenes.  It’s about learning how to flirt the right way with men to let them know you’re interested, learning how to be happy and comfortable with flirting and forgetting about that thing called “rejection.”

The holidays are happening whether you’re ready for them or not. By the time the new year rolls around, you’re going to want to be ready to hit the ground running. But don’t expect a seasonal miracle; you’re going to have to put in some real work between now and then to learn new things about yourself and the dating game.

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker.  His advice has transformed the dating lives and relationships of hundreds of thousands of people from every corner of the globe.  He offers his advice as a writer for Ask Men, Huffington Post and across television segments, newspapers and magazines, including MTV, The New York Times, MSNBC, Fox News, Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health and E! Entertainment Television — as well as on over 2,000 radio shows. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit him on his website at http://www.davidwygant.com.

Aloha Dignity Daters!  I’m sitting on the Lanai this morning preparing to work with coaching clients and am confident today’s guest blog, written by nationally recognized dating expert, David Wygant, comes at the perfect time for some of you.  I love David’s no-nonsense approach, and in this blog David will help you see why it’s important to not only love yourself,  but forgive the little mistakes, and live from a place of abundance.  Enjoy…..

Dating is a process a lot of us really can live without.  It’s an emotional roller coaster that can drive you to drink four year-old bottles of Mike’s Hard Lemonade from the back of your refrigerator.  There are so many ups and downs in dating.

Here is a list of some of the most frustrating dating ups and downs, and how to feel better about them:

1)    We made out in the parking lot and they never called again. Making out is fun!  You needed it. They needed it.  Don’t beat yourself up that you did it, just realize you did it.  You needed some tonsil hockey and to cop a feel.  Be okay with it.  It was a great date.  You were in the moment, and you experienced something that you wanted to do.
Read the rest of this entry →

It has been rockin’ this week at Dating With Dignity! On Tuesday and Wednesday we launched the “8 Weeks to MANifesting Love” Program. The women in these two groups are open, brave, beautiful and FUN. I am blessed to be part of their journey towards finding love. There is much change in store; I will keep you updated here when there are important issues, breakthroughs or questions that come up in the groups.

This week we discussed how Limiting Beliefs, which are things that you accept about life, yourself, or the world, and how it drives what kind of men and women you meet. Here are some examples of common Limiting Beliefs: “Men over 40 only want to date younger women.” Or, “All men/women in LA are superficial.” Or, “If I get into a relationship I will have to lose my independence.” If you believe these thoughts to be true, it is most likely that this is what you will create in your life. But is this what you really want?

What are your Limiting Beliefs? Jot them down. Once you have the list, go through each one and ask yourself these questions:

1. How true is this belief, really?
2. Where did I get this idea from?
3. How has this belief affected me?
4. What action can I take to let go of this belief? How can I put this into action immediately?

I invite you to leave your list of Limiting Beliefs, and the strategies you use to let them go in the comments box at the end of this blog. Those readers who leave at least two Limiting Beliefs/Strategies will earn themselves a 30 minute complimentary telephone coaching session with me! I’m looking forward to your responses.

We also held the first in the series of ASK the Expert teleclasses today. Dating expert David Wygant shared some excellent tips with callers. Take a look at these juicy nuggets:

1. The best places to meet men and women include gourmet and organic food stores (a la Whole Food, Trader Joe’s) a bike path, hiking, and Starbucks. The worst places? you guessed it: Bars and clubs, especially during weekends. If you want to increase your chances of being approached, head out to a local restaurant or coffee shop by yourself. Bring a book, newspaper or your laptop. Don’t wear headphones though, having buds in your ears screams “don’t approach” to potential new friends.

2. If a man introduces sex into the conversation, asks for sexy pictures, or makes innuendos early in a phone call, instant message conversation, or date you can surmise he most likely isn’t looking for a relationship. David reminded callers to trust their intuition. If it feels odd, move on.

3. If you are not certain how a man feels about moving from casual to a relationship, you can be sure he isn’t interested in making a commitment. David repeated what I discussed in an earlier post: When a man is interested in you he will profess (e.g., tell the world you are “his” woman), protect (give you his jacket or walk you to your car) and provide (buy you dinner, fix your sink, or change your lightbulb).

4. Love yourself enough to let go of men who don’t meet your needs.

The next ASK teleclass is Thursday, September 24 with two Matchmaking experts at Catch Matchmaking! Registration information will be posted soon.

I’m off to Sacramento this weekend for continuing education via the Institute of Professional Excellence in Coaching (IPEC). Will share tomorrow. Until then, peace.

FREE TELECLASS!

ASK EVENT #1:  DAVID WYGANT, expert dating and relationship coach

September 10, 2009

3pm

Register at askdavidwygant.com

We have lots of new programs in the works at Dating With Dignity for September, including the first of several “Ask the Expert” FREE teleclasses on Thursday, September 10, 2009 at 3pm pacific. Just click on the registration webpage (askdavidwygant.com) and type in your specific question for our first expert, Dating Coach and Man Expert, David Wygant. (Check out DavidWygant.com to get an inside look at what David does for men in the world of dating!)

Go to AskDavidWygant.com, type your question, and then mark your calendar for the FREE teleclass on Thursday, September 10 in which David will answer the questions we receive from you.

During this call I get to play “Oprah” and interview David based on your questions, the most commonly asked questions of our Dating With Dignity Man Panelists, plus David to let you in on a few of the inside secrets he’s willing to share with this exclusive teleclass audience!

Have a great day, and a beautiful, blessed week!