Dating With Dignity

Another MUST-WATCH Video featuring our reality show star, Carolin Bennett!

Carolin documented her 90-day journey to Ignite her Life with Marni and a fabulous group of coaches.

Watch it here…

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When it comes to finding long-lasting love, it is critical that you break free from your romantic rut, and have begun the journey towards unraveling the limiting thoughts, beliefs and stories you may have taken on as YOUR identity based on past dating and relationship experiences.  Before digging into what characteristics and qualities are found in the woman who is truly relationship-ready (a Dignity Dater), make sure you have overcome the following common roadblocks…

1.  While you see yourself as optimistic, filled with positivity and possess a sunny attitude, you may still believe, in your core, that dating is hard, you might be left behind, you really aren’t good enough to land an amazing man, or because of your situation and circumstance it really IS harder for you to be successful.  If you haven’t manifested the relationship you are looking for, and you see yourself as “positive,” it’s worth your time to check in and make sure your unconscious and conscious thoughts truly match.  (The D-Factor Assessment is a great tool to discover what’s really going on inside your noggin’!  And make sure you take a look at the bottom of this post because I’m offering a 50% discount — you just need to grab the coupon code from the teleclass replay page.)

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When it comes to answering the question, “why are you still single,” it’s so simple to place blame on circumstance. In fact, when I hear women who are my clients, women who gather at the table next to mine in a restaurant, or even women on “The Bachelor” answer this question, it involves three major reasons:

1. There are NO good men in my city. They are ALL (e.g., hicks, players, shallow, stupid, lazy and spoiled)

2. I am too old, too fat or some other excuse related to your external physical appearance.

3. I hate dating, and I don’t know how to meet men.

Once their icy conviction enters the atmosphere and lingers for a while, energetically tainting the space, I ask my favorite question…

“How true is that REALLY?”

Which then leads, in most cases, to

a deep dive into each woman’s true fears, her story, her beliefs, and a diatribe of her past heartaches. All of which ultimately prevent her from creating the love she truly desires. That said, if you are open to looking into your heart and cast blame aside in 2011, I invite you to consider that while navigating the MANimal jungle is most definately a challenge, you are also possibly a “type,” and that “type” may not be the “type” Mr. Boyfriend Materials desires in a long-term partner.

There are four archetypal women who roam the dating jungle, and conveniently they seem to be so darn archetypal that they in fact seem to be the main characteristic traits of four women American’s have come to love – the women of TV’s famed HBO series, “Sex and the City.” So then, what follows is a brief overview of the Dating With Dignity Archetypal Women Who Roam the Dating Jungle and thoughts, beliefs and dating behaviors which may be keeping them stuck in a romantic rut.

Who are you and how is this impacting your ability to MANifest the love you so deserve?

Miranda

AKA The “Tough Girl”

Ahh, Miranda. I loved her. She made me mad, yet I felt like in many ways I was her. And, I really became quite frustrated when she left Steve. In my practice I meet many “Tough Girls,” who are often accused of having tons of “masculine energy,” yet are successful in so many areas of  life. You may be a “Tough Girl” if your thoughts run like this:

“Men are intimated by me”
“Men aren’t attracted to successful women”
“I’m done playing games”
This is not worth the trouble”
“Dating is a waste of time — does he really think I would go out with him?”
“I’m accomplished” and I that’s important.

Many Tough girls are “black and white” thinkers, judging everything, everyone and every experience as either good or bad. Tough Girls can be perceived as aloof or women who like to “play games.” Some are workaholics and some say that men who are attracted to them are “not my type.” The Tough Girl will wonder, silently to herself, “How come I’ve been successful at everything but dating?”

Charlotte
AKA “The Nice Girl”

To be honest, Charlotte sorta made my skin crawl! She was so soft, mushy and let Trey walk all over her. Nevertheless, she kept trying. In truth, I think she rubbed me the wrong way because in some ways I was so like her in the past, staying with men who didn’t treat me as I deserved; all the while making me feel like it was ME who needed to change, adjust and adapt. In my practice I meet many “Nice Girls,” who stay with men who are “fixer uppers. You may be a “Nice Girl” if your thoughts and beliefs run like this:

“He’s got so much potential”
“I’m going to give him a second chance”
“Why are guys always interested in being my friend?”
“Why do guys always ask me for advice about the girls they are dating?”
“Guys never give back what I put forth”
“ Why do I always date men who aren’t that into me?”

Nice Girls know they are a total catch – all their male friends tell them so – yet they continue to date men who “need” them financially, emotionally and seem to never give back at the same level.  The Nice Girl may vary between bouts of guilt, self pity and anger, but when push comes to shove, the Nice Girl will back down and blame others, if not herself.

Check out Part II coming tomorrow and see if you are the “Scared Girl,” or perhaps even the girl who is perceived as the “Life of the Party.”  While men may LOVE to have both of these types in their lives they may not be who they want to date long-term.

In the meantime,

*** If you are interested in learning more about the FOUR dating archtypes and how to have a breakthrough to become HIS type, don’t miss the FREE “Ignite Your Life” Sneak Preview Teleclass on Sunday, January 16 at 6pm PST.

*** If you are interested in learning additional techniques to improve your communication, don’t miss the FREE “Ignite Your Life” Sneak Preview Teleclass on Sunday, January 16 at 6pm PST.

Dating Scripts You Can Use Now.

One of the most powerful benefits of working with a dating coach privately is that you get answers when a dramatic internal battle ensures regarding what to say to a man.
Here are a few of my best scripts to help you communicate your needs in a way that is feminine, sexy, confident and effective.

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By Lisa Steadman, best selling author of If He’s Not The One, Who Is: What went wrong and what it takes to find Mr. Right

Be honest. Did your New Year’s resolutions for 2011 include some variation of “I want to meet my husband this year!”? Then keep reading. It’s time to set the scene so you can purposefully and powerfully manifest Mr. Right.

First, let’s clarify your REAL resolution. The truth is, I don’t think what you REALLY want is to be married. I believe what you ultimately want – what most single women want – is to find YOUR beautiful, blissful, unique happily ever after story. You want to fall madly in love with Mr. Right. And vice versa.

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In my work with male clients, it still surprises me when I hear the array of horrific “dating don’ts” that are innocently committed by the most beautiful, educated and seemingly “perfect” women.
The results are tragic, and I feel quite confident that most of these women have no idea why they are not being asked on date number 2, or are ultimately not pursued after the red flags are hoisted, flown and dominate the country of potential relationship. What’s most important for you to know is that while you may say you would “never “ do these things, there are a host of small, minute “errors” that send men running for the hills in their Nikes.

What follows is my top 3 Unconscious Dating Mistakes made by some of the most beautiful, smart and “together” women who walk unwittingly through the dating jungle:

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As a professional matchmaker with twenty years experience bringing couples together, I love to watch trends – patterns of problematic dating issues developing in our culture.

The troublesome question I’m seeing from my female clients this month:
“How can I get the guy I’m interested in to pursue me?”
And another:
“I got a second date invitation from the man I didn’t really like, and the one I DO like? He’s not called. What’s up with that?”

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