Dating With Dignity

How DO you get a guy to ask you out?
It’s a question a lot of women have: How on earth can I get that guy or those guys to ask me out?

Do you find yourself frequenting places where you feel like you should meet at least one man a day? If you’re going to coffee shops, bookstores and bars but really aren’t meeting any quality men (or at least not getting them to ask you out), you need to get familiar with Eye TT.

So what is Eye TT?

Eye: As Man Panelist and Dating Den co-host Christian Anderson of LetsTalkDating.com might say, a little bit of “eye tennis” never hurt anybody. One of the KEY ways to let a man know you’re interested is to give him a little eye attention.

Men are not going to approach you unless they’ve already anticipated that they’re going to have success in asking you out. In this regard, men are just as afraid of rejection as women are. So go ahead, let him know you’re interested!

T: Touch. This might be the oldest trick in the book, and you probably aren’t thinking about it. Men go nuts about a woman’s femininity. When you express your femininity in the right away, he’s going to be instantly attracted to you. Even just a casual brush of your collarbone or a quick run of your hands through your hair can make a man’s hormones take a leap!

T: The last T is for Talk. This does NOT mean ask him out. It also doesn’t mean you have to launch into a full-on conversation, but a nice comment about something around you that you can both relate to (“It’s so nice that it’s summer! I finally get to start ordering iced coffees…”) is a great way to invite him to connect with you and lead him in the direction of asking you out!

So go ahead: Try making a little eye contact, playing up your feminine side and striking up a casual conversation. What’s the worst thing that could happen?

We’ve all been there. A guy you’ve gone out with a few times, who seems totally into you, suddenly disappears completely.

You’re probably wondering why that guy seems to have fallen off Planet Earth. You start with justifications like: “Well, he did say next week was going to be super busy…” and “He’s probably working really hard” or “Didn’t he say he was going out of town this weekend?”

Most of the time in these situations, we’re given absolutely no reason for this Casper act…

So, for your mental clarity, here are a few common reasons this might be happening:

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Here’s my problem: After a great first date, many guys say, “Would love to see you again.” We exchange pleasant emails back and forth, and I ask him to give me a call. I haven’t heard from him yet. Should I wait for him to call for the second date, or shall I call him if I don’t hear from him after a week?

So here’s the thing, ladies. First things first: DO NOT ask him to call YOU. A man who is truly “Boyfriend Material” and interested in pursuing a relationship with you will call you if he wants to see you again. Period. The tricky thing sometimes is that he may casually say he wants to see you again after your date, which feels awesome. This however, is STILL a step removed from actually calling you to make plans.

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I’ve got a great date story to share from a while ago that is pertinent to many of the topics that come up today. So, I met this great gal on a project I was working on. There wasn’t enough time to get her number so we connected over Facebook. We tossed several FB messages back and forth and then there was an exchange of numbers. Later that week she dropped me a text that said, “Want to grab a drink tonight?” I was free, texted “Sure!” and that date was set. I was near her neck of the woods and admitted that I was a bit out of my element. Luckily she said she knew a groovy place for us to meet.

I get there a little early, grab a cocktail and within minutes she is joining me at the bar. The conversation is exciting and she is hitting upon some invigorating topics. She lights up the room as she shares her take on all things vocational, spiritual and political. She is pretty darn smart, well grounded and opinionated. I found myself sitting back and watching her show most of the night, but it was an exciting show, and it’s always fun to see someone getting carried away in passion and spark. As the conversation goes deeper, so do the drinks, and before I know it she is ordering the 4th round. Then she suggests we do a shot on the next one! At first I was a bit surprised, but then I found it sexy. This gal is asking me to man up and keep up with her, so my male machismo kicks in and I throw back a double of Jameson.

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By Orna & Matthew Walters

The holidays can be a difficult time to be single and dating. There is a lot of pressure to find someone who can share all of those holiday events with, culminating with the ultimate pressure filled event, New Year’s Eve. It’s enough to drive you into the arms of the nearest available man. This is a strategy that results in high expectations and crushing disappointment.

We want to offer a different path this holiday season, one that could very well make sure you never spend another holiday lonely and alone. And to accomplish this, you need to change the direction of your focus – away from finding the right man, right now, and towards becoming the right woman, always.

The path to accomplish this feat requires that you stop looking for someone to complete you and start becoming the best woman you can be. This requires you to take some loving actions with yourself.

The first step is to release yourself from finding him now. Relax, enjoy the holidays with friends and family, and ignore all those questions about why you are still single. The winter is the perfect time to reflect and introspect. Take this time to look inward and develop a positive self-love practice.

Here are a few suggestions:

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