Dating With Dignity

As a professional matchmaker with twenty years experience bringing couples together, I love to watch trends – patterns of problematic dating issues developing in our culture.

The troublesome question I’m seeing from my female clients this month:
“How can I get the guy I’m interested in to pursue me?”
And another:
“I got a second date invitation from the man I didn’t really like, and the one I DO like? He’s not called. What’s up with that?”

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Masculine Energy. Why Do You Have it and How Do You Change it?

More than ninety percent of the women who take the Dating With Dignity D-Factor, Date-Ability Assessment are shocked to know that more than forty percent of their total available positive, “date me” energy is vibrating at low levels. Most importantly, these low energy levels are broadcasting messages that, in fact, cause men to move away from you as a potential partner and ultimately report to their friends and family, “there was no chemistry,” “she was “intimidating” or, she seemed, “aloof.”

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Where do I meet “Mr. Right ,” especially when I seem to keep meeting Mr. Right Now
To answer this accurately, I need to fill in some gaps. First, and foremost, it is imperative that as you begin to date with dignity, you understand that ultimately, the answers to all questions lie within yourself.

Step One:
While it is important to collect data, get ideas, and glean new insights, one of the first steps to discovering the answer within is to engage in a dialogue with a coach or supportive, unbiased friend who can ask you important questions — you know — questions that make you take pause. Questions that can’t be answered with “yes,” “no,” or “I don’t know.” The types of questions that empower YOU to uncover your TRUTH.

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Sometimes, a relationship can never even get started or, conversely, it moves too quickly because we do not take time to discern if the person we are dating is an appropriate match. What follow’s in today’s blog is a few key questions you can ask yourself to define whether the person you are dating is truly a potential partner.

To begin, we must define a healthy, positive relationship. As Dignity Daters, we want to pursue nurturing relationships that support our growth and development. We don’t want to continue dating a person who is “catabolic,” or negative, because interactions with them are destructive, limiting, impede our ability to experience life fully or express our true selves. This said, begin your decision making process regarding a person’s “match” potential by:

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There is a very good chance that you are checking out this site because you are ready to attract a substantial relationship into your life, and want to move on from short-term action or hook-ups. So, what’s step one? Well, you already did it; you acknowledged that you are ready for a healthy, substantial relationship! Step two: find out if you are really ready for a substantial relationship.

With this new commitment to a healthy relationship comes a change in behavior, actions, and expectations. This can be difficult because short-term dating can be super fun. Hooking up is sexy and a great end to a night. Being the life of the party and enjoying endless boy fun can be tremendously entertaining and hard to let go of. However, to get on track towards manifesting a good chap in your life, the first place you will need to start is with your own focus and behavior, and that means some sacrifice in other areas of your life. This might mean some lonely nights, the loss of immediate gratification from frivolous flirting via text message, and your inner “make-out bandit” will have to be shut down when you show up at the office party and the cute new intern is trying to make a move on you. Nope. You have committed to a new focus. You want to graduate from manimals to boyfriend material and that road gets much brighter and a bit more obvious… once you stop feeding the manimals.

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