Dating With Dignity

By Michal Spiegelman

Thanksgiving is a time of celebration, a time of gratitude. Read on to learn how to make gratitude practical & fun and receive a FREE 15-min Guided Gratitude Meditation, especially for you.

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can”.
The Dalai Lama

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There is a very good chance that you are checking out this site because you are ready to attract a substantial relationship into your life, and want to move on from short-term action or hook-ups. So, what’s step one? Well, you already did it; you acknowledged that you are ready for a healthy, substantial relationship! Step two: find out if you are really ready for a substantial relationship.

With this new commitment to a healthy relationship comes a change in behavior, actions, and expectations. This can be difficult because short-term dating can be super fun. Hooking up is sexy and a great end to a night. Being the life of the party and enjoying endless boy fun can be tremendously entertaining and hard to let go of. However, to get on track towards manifesting a good chap in your life, the first place you will need to start is with your own focus and behavior, and that means some sacrifice in other areas of your life. This might mean some lonely nights, the loss of immediate gratification from frivolous flirting via text message, and your inner “make-out bandit” will have to be shut down when you show up at the office party and the cute new intern is trying to make a move on you. Nope. You have committed to a new focus. You want to graduate from manimals to boyfriend material and that road gets much brighter and a bit more obvious… once you stop feeding the manimals.

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Date 1: You head out on Saturday morning to grab coffee at the local daily grind for your first date with a new guy. You only have an hour before you run off to your girl friend’s birthday party, but you’re committed to making time for dating. First impression: awesome vibe, nice little connection, and definite intrigue for another date.

Date 3: Next Friday night you meet for dinner at a fun Mexican restaurant Downtown. You each enjoy a cold margarita followed by steak tacos before he leads you onto the dance floor for some salsa. He is a total gentleman, and seems to emulate the suave, romantic feel of Luis Miguel, rather than bumping and grinding like a Ricky Martin video gone wrong. He drives you home, and the juices are flowing from the West Side Story dance remake the two of you performed at the restaurant. You both are feeling pretty weak and it seems that a night of passion might commence, but he exhales and gives you a goodnight kiss. He then calls you the next day to tell you how great of a time he had.

You find yourself thinking about him during the week, and are feeling more and more intrigued by the guy. Since you’re trying to keep a good pace you don’t want to call him randomly to say “hi” just yet. One night mid-week you find yourself on Facebook chatting with a girl friend, and she asks about the guy you’ve been seeing. You decide to see if you can find him on the site to show her a picture of him. His unique name (let’s call him Antonio Venespaldi III) pops right up and, since he barely uses his account, his security options are not enabled, leaving his pictures and wall posts totally available to everyone.

So now you and your girl friend are simultaneously cruising through Antonio’s pictures and chatting back and forth about the juicy info. You find out that he is a lobbyist for a major oil company, “likes” Lou Dobbs, is a Scorpio, and has 1560 friends, many of whom seem to be women. What happened to your eco-loving man who enjoys hikes and seemed to, at least, be a centrist politically? I mean, how could a man “like” Lou Dobbs and also be a champion of the environment? The worst part is that you are an Aries! And we all know that Aries have no compatibility with Scorpios in the dating world. Your heart drops. But it gets worse. You get another IM from your friend: “Did you see him tagged in ‘Lake Tahoe Trip 2010’ album?”

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