Dating With Dignity

In working with women and men in 2011 who created big, sustainable results in their lives, it’s become apparent to me what “works” and what doesn’t in becoming what success coach Bob Proctor describes as a “Goal Achiever.” And before I go on (and because I know you’re interested in what kind of results I’m talking about), let me be specific…

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By Larry Michel

The New Year is almost here – full of resolutions and promises.  If you are single, you might have the resolution to meet someone special this year.  If so, this is a perfect time to give careful thought to what you are looking for in a relationship.  Most people base compatibility on just physical characteristics and mental characteristics.

The physical part is everything we see. If the person has the right look, size and shape, energy level and even in the same geographical area, you have a good physical match.

The mental part is what most of us think is everything else. It’s who the person is. How they were raised, what they believe in. What hopes, dreams and wishes they have. Their spiritual beliefs, desires for family, travel and other activities. Their taste in clothes, music and entertainment. In a nutshell this is called the product of nurturing — what we have become since birth and how we chose to live today.  If this is a great match, you may be well on your way to a wonderful relationship.

If the physical and mental parts are both wonderful for each of you, then this should be a great match, right?  That’s what the online dating sites want us to believe, which is why we see every site construct their profiles the same way. Plenty of pictures, videos and audios and a good series of descriptions or profiles matched by questionnaires.

This does not work for the same reason a relationship based on just the physical and emotional aspects of the relationship is typically in for some big surprises. When they do work, it is a very lucky match.

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By Dr. Anna Michelle

The holiday season is not quite over till the New Year’s Eve ball drops.  Some of you may still be on vacation, visiting with family, or still recovering from Christmas a few days ago.  The holidays can put more stress and strain on a relationship than usual. Whether it’s extra commitments, less financial resources, increased family gatherings, or more activities than usual, any one of these reasons can cause tension in a relationship. Not to mention, over indulging in sugary foods, alcohol and eating more than usual intensifies anxiety, and can run the risk of turning your holiday cheer into the holiday blues.

Here are some tips on how to stress-proof your relationship for the holidays…

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By Bobbi Palmer

New Year’s Eve is approaching – that special night where you put on your little black dress, go out on the town, and celebrate – well, sort of.  If the biggest party night of the year has your stomach tied in knots because you’re single, you might want to read on.

When I was single, New Year’s Eve put me in a funk. With no one to take to parties or make out with at midnight, I was reminded of what I still wanted in my life: a loving man.

I’m married now, and so grateful to have a magnificent man in my life. But as I talk to my single girlfriends and coach my clients, I feel for them; and I still feel my sadness and disappointment as if it was yesterday.

Here is some advice I wish I had gotten when I was single. Not only do I want to help you get more joy out or your New Year’s Eve, I want to help you avoid unnecessary drama.

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By Cheri Valentine

As we move through the holidays and into the New Year, some of you may have a tingle of excitement as you anticipate the hustle and bustle of New Year’s Eve, looking forward to seeing family and friends to celebrate. For many however, this can be a very challenging time.  Anxiety, dread, and worry are more the norm for so many during the holiday season.

On Christmas, the overinflated emphasis on gifts becomes a chore and takes away from the pleasure of the connection, love, and appreciation for many people. For some, there are so many things to do in addition to the already overloaded responsibilities.  And for many more, the stress of facing another holiday alone feels unbearable.

Doesn’t sound too Happy or Merry, does it?  Yet I know from experience having been on both ends of the spectrum that you can create holiday bliss while honoring what you want and need during this time. You don’t have to straddle the tight rope between sacrifice, obligation, and strain and total seclusion or intense loneliness.

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By Patty Contenta

Through my research and personal experience, I’ve found 3 mistakes are responsible for women not being approached by men. The scary part is that this could be happening to You without you knowing it.

Mistake #1: Standing With Your Legs Apart

A man likes to feel masculine, like he has mental and physical strength…regardless of his size. The dominance that he tries to portray can be seen by the way he stands with his legs apart and chest lifted. His goal is to take up space to demonstrate power.

So when a woman stands with her legs apart, she’s taking a dominant role. She’s taking the lead and a very masculine man will avoid you because you’re confronting his stature without saying a word.

I too have been in this same scenario where my need to be noticed for the smart, strong woman I am was coming out loud and clear for every man to see… yet no one approached me.

A man is naturally attracted to a playful woman that oozes sensuality… something he is clueless about. He wants to sense an air of invitation so that if he takes a chance to approach you, you won’t reject him on the spot.

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By Julie Ferman, Cupid’s Coach

Every now and then Ho Ho Ho time rolls around on the calendar and yet life seems to have dumped a pile of coal on the old doorstep. Someone you love is sick, mad at you, a relationship recently fell apart, there’s been a recent disappointment – life has thrown you something that has you feeling hollow, sad, anxious, or just plain BLAH.

We all have our Bah Humbug moments. Even the most cheerful, upbeat, positive people have them. What to do?

First thing? Just acknowledge it. Go ahead, say it out loud. “I’m having a Bah Humbug Moment! I’m supposed to be all festive, happy and cheery and instead I feel more like crawling under a rock and hiding until springtime.” Congrats – you just woke up to what’s real for you. Great. You’re half way through.

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By Mat Boggs

Holidays are such a busy time! What do you do when your man seems to be too busy to call and prefers to only text?

It can be so frustrating if your man keeps texting you when you are craving the connection of a real conversation.

Often women won’t ask for what they want because they don’t want to be seen as: pushy, masculine, or needy.

Check out this video by best-selling author and relationship expert, Mat Boggs. Mat gives you a great strategy for how to get him to call rather than text while staying in your feminine power.

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By Carole Lieberman, M.D.

Yes, it’s very tempting to settle for anyone in your bed during the holidays, just so you don’t end the year alone. But, just like a lump of coal can disguise itself as an intriguing gift when it’s hiding inside your stocking, a bad boy or bad girl can disguise themselves as an intriguing new love when they are hiding behind a façade. Indeed, these manipulative lovers know that holiday time is a great time to go on the prowl because we are especially vulnerable. We all want a hot kiss from someone who’s madly in love with us as the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve. So, unconsciously we hear our inner clock ticking as soon as the Halloween candy is gone, telling us it’s time to find that special someone.

As you know, it’s hardest to find love when you are desperately looking for it, so you might become easy prey for bad boys who are prowling for sex and other favors, and bad girls who are looking to trap ‘sitting ducks’. Here are some tips on how to recognize these heartbreakers.

In my book, Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live with Them and When to Leave Them, I define 12 types of bad boys, such as the Fixer-Upper Lover, Compulsive Flirt, Commitment-Phobe, Self-Absorbed Seducer, Wounded Poet and Prince of Darkness. A bad boy is “both a lost little boy and a man with a dark side…. Because he’s aloof and elusive, you get caught up in the challenge and excitement of the chase – though he’s not always someone you’d really want even if you did capture him…. He’s a frog you hope to turn into a fairy-tale prince with the magic of your kiss.”

Similarly, in Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets, I define 12 types of bad girls – the ‘dozen dangerous damsels’. These include the Gold-Digger, Sex Siren, Husband Hunter and Trapper, Husband Stealer, Ball-Buster and Ultimate Damsel in Distress. “Just as little girls are forewarned that they’ll need to kiss a lot of frogs before they find their prince, society forewarns little boys that they’ll need to slay a lot of dragons before they’ll win the heart of their true princess.”

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