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Please leave a comment below! I want to hear what YOU are taking away from this training.
The last two men I dated were Mr Cry-Baby and Mr Quality Casual. I was able to let go of Mr Cry Baby fairly quickly when I saw that he freaked out. However Mr Quality Casual is very hard for me to let go of. So I’m going to say no to the cool girl behavior & move on from him! Because he is not bringing me any closer to my goal which is to find the love of my life! He is even preventing me from it 🙂 So no matter how hot he may be and how much chemistry we may have, it’s time to say: enough! Next 🙂
I think I date somewhere between Mr. Casual and Mr. Elusive….
I want the person I am dating to match me…to want the same things, to know what he wants, and to want me….
Thank you so much Marni, these video’s are so helpful. Ive been dating Mr Cry Baby, who really confused me as he was classic to your description, then his business season took off, he asked me for patience, then turned into Mr Quality Casual on email..as if he felt he had shared too much of himself and then pulled back, so I was doing all the keeping it together with minimal input from him. No matter as I pulled the plug…but oh, he did get under my skin and it still hurts, his puppy dog eyes… – you are right, they tug on the heart strings for sure.
I knew these guys were out there but never knew how to identify them. I’ve learned so much in the first two videos. Thank you.
I am sitting here watching your 2nd video.
This 2nd video and some of your 1st video has freaked me out a little and seriously in need of a private chat concerning my own relationship !!
Thank you Marni, this is a great video!!! I know I have dated all 4 characters and I have also been all of the characters myself in the past. Now it’s time for a change, time for real love 🙂 Thanks Again, Dianna
I have had Hunters, cry babies, and BF Material in my past. I married BF Material but he turned out to be a cheater–he turned out to be a sociopath & wolf in sheep’s clothing. I can use your tips to identify the unwanted types more quickly and run the other way when necessary. Thank you, Marni!
I can’t even get on the “first base!” I can’t even get a guy to even ask to take me out. I obviously have a lot of work to do…
Very insightful! I need to ditch all cool girl behavior, but I think I have to figure out how to appropriately express what I’m feeling about their disclaimers or elusiveness. I also think I have to watch that I don’t give more than they’re giving.
Oh my goodness! What an eye opener! I think I am Mrs. Quality Casual…so afraid to get hurt but want that real relationship. I just recently told Mr. Hunter-elusive off. Thank you so much for your videos and advice. I have come such a long way from my divorce. I cannot wait to marry the man of my dreams after I get my own self together. I try to make changes everyday to improve myself. Keep the videos and advice coming! I am actually chatting now with a guy that already seems to be boyfriend material! We will see. I just have to work on myself. I will keep you posted!
I dated someone once and things went fantastic. We chatted a few times, then nothing for a few weeks, then chatted again, etc. He lives an hour away and has a rotating shift schedule, which makes it hard for him to get off to travel this far. He contacts me every few weeks, says he likes me and would love to go out with me…is this a casual guy?
I also recently dated someone who is very wealthy, handsome, has his life together….said he loved that I am intelligent, witty, etc and wants a marriage relationship as his ultimate goal. Am I being duped by these two guys?
I am just venturing out into the dating world and have been told by men and women that I am intelligent, good looking, witty, etc, yet I have much difficulty believing men really would want a relationship with me. I think I scare them off because they can see me “leaking.” I am 58 and divorced for about a year. Maybe I need to swear off men! (at least for awhile).
I immediately identified three Cry Babies I dated and more recently a Hunter and a Quality Casual….and never knew it. What wonderful foresight Ms Marni, thank you!
I have been fortunate to turn down the hunter, but still want Mr. Elusive. I now have chosen to move on and do not contact or make first contact. Most recent one just didn’t seem to want a relationship though he was on a dating site.
My heart & south of my heart …
How can I resist his (Mr. Hunter Elusive)
Seduction? The more I resist the more seductive he gets!
I’m beginning 2 c the light ….
Seeing how I’m afraid that a more available guy will be 2 possessive or take over too much of my time or not give me my space. Funny how I start 2 sound a bit Hunter Elusive myself?
Thanks Marni for helping me step back & look at the big picture.
I am strong so I won’t lose myself in a relationship.
I trust myself to select the best. I believe I can have my space my freedom & love!
Uh oh! The Hunter / Elusive guy has my heart!
Mr. Quality Casual is ready to help out!
I want one man who can keep me feeling satisfied & secure.
It’s years since the first date … My heart wants to say yes although my mind is hearing what your saying.
Here’s a twist. I actually identified myself as a Ms.Casual. I think I became this from being a “leaker”. I felt like I had to be this person in order to not be disappointed when Mr. Elusive or Hunter fell off the planet.
You are simply one of the best go-to consultants for ladies out there.
I really love your stuffs
I just sent you an email, I don’t know if you got it.
Well.. Seems like my dating history is Hunter and Mr. Elusive.
My current relationship is with Mr. Elusive with a splash of cry baby. He pursued me so hard and was very emotional and seemed to want to connect. Was very fast, very open and emotional. So I confused him for a guy who is emotionally available.
8 months into it I even gave up my life and moved to another state to live with him.
And reality hit – He wouldn’t put labels on things nor call me his ‘girlfriend” as labels were bad. Commitment became a negative word and he said we should just make a choice to be together one day at a time(kinda like a 12 step program).
So I started to think if I just DO something better he will commit. Umm.. NO. Slowly but surely I started to lose myself and my sanity. I started to somewhat beg to be a girlfriend or for him to make a commitment. Now I saw he didnt have much of an emotional capacity or intimacy: when I cried he’d just walk away or stare at me with a blank face and then walk away or said cheating was not a dealbreaker. I dont think I needed much to go completely insane. So I got in the car and drove 960 miles to be surrounded with friends and family. There is nothing and no one that is worth me loosing myself and my dream
I’m loving the first two videos. In watching this, I’v confirmed my boyfriend is none of these manimals. Any advice on refueling the interest of a man you’re in a relationship with Marni? My boyfriend has a very busy career (super busy as a recent due to a promotion)and is divorced with two children. At first I reacted to his change in schedult in a way that I think came off needy, now I’m more understanding, but I feel like he’s become somewhat distant. I want to be and give my best while receiving his best. I know relationships go through stages, just want to be fair and to work on my insecurities so that I’m acting rationally. Thanks for any advice you can give and/or resources.
Thank you so much for your videos. The manimal types are excellent and have been extremely illuminating. After many years of dealing with the Hunters and some Elusives my BS monitor was very sharp for such types and have no interest in them. I don’t have the temperament to deal with a Crybaby so I have avoided those. What I have not been prepared for is Mr. Quality Casual. I just had a crash course in meeting such a man. Your description was so on the ball in so many ways I wish I had read and seen this video and your articles. What I perceived as a true connection I now see he was unable or unwilling to have. It has been very painful but now I feel the calm that I proceeded with integrity and honesty, it was him not me by which I mean there is nothing fundamentally wrong with me but I will now be wiser in my choices. My one question is that as noted in the Mr. QC profile his focus is on his life. How does one differentiate between respecting a person’s private space and spotting the hallmark signs of Mr. QC when one is first dating and getting to kknow each other?
This is A Blessing in Disguise!! Thank you Marni, for this video. An eye opener and reality check for me to realize what I have been choosing and attracting was all these guys that are SO much of the opposite of the guys I’m looking for.
I’m young, sensitive, sweet, nice, intelligent, supportive and just haven’t figured out why I keep attracting these guys that disappear, won’t commit or even give me “The Disclaimer”. I walk away feeling like I did something wrong. Now, I know I just haven’t been attracting the right guys for me! I want a man that will commit, cherish me and give me the love that just makes me feel special, so special to where I know I can truly understand and see that it’s real. I will take this advice, read over notes I took and do the best to attract the right guys! Thanks again Marni, definitely a life saver!
I am enjoying the videos so far and learning a lot. I have dated the hunter, Mr. Elusive, Cry Baby, and Mr. Quality Casual. My latest adventure was with the Hunter with some addictions. This incident left me reeling because I didn’t value myself and I accepted the crumbs since it was convenient for me. I didn’t hold myself accountable. The blessing in this is my openness to heal what needs to be heal and being proactive about what I need to know and do to ensure acceptable dating. Most importantly I need to be nicer to myself, not the guys that are not relationship ready,and work on not accepting crumbs which means no more last minute invitation especially if I am bored.
Hi Marni: I enjoyed watching this video amazing the man kinda relationship he like Mr.Quality Casual and part Bf Material,i remember he was Mr. Quality Casual for awhile he almost Bf Material, but i feel lossing him cause last time we chatted wed,sept 10/14 and i haven’t heard from him in 2 weeks.I message him on pc never got back to me and text for first time test, nothing don’t want feel bugging him cause he told last conversation hurt again in construction and he told going up Ottawa Ont,for work at end month cause i was working midnights he works days.Not easy chatting to him not working midnights any more long story looking for work and was working 3 month job and ended before last month ,i worked so hard let go not fired and he doesn’t know what happen,i just don’t want bother him work cause comes home showers eats relax goes bed.So i feel he ended by not calling me i wish man tell me met someone else or something but he hasn’t im weird friendship relionship, i don’t know what to do can you help me , maybe video can help me be better dater or something ! thank listening Marni..Margaret ..PS i feel this not man for me i have strong feel for him and told him he told me just don’t know what to do ..Margaret!
I date and stay with the wrong men because I didn’t know the signs. This will help me to choose more wisely. Thank you so much!
After going through your first 2 video’s am finally excited about entering the dating world!
Growing up and in college most of my friends were guys and I now realize that I never really “dated” and have just not known “how”. I was very focused on school during college, then jumped into a second degree while working full time/a second job part time while finishing my masters degree. I met, was swept off my feet by and married a cry baby (i was wife #2)…whom I finally separated last July, then divorced him 5 months ago after 18 years of marriage…and could be the poster child for the cool girl, seeing potential, thinking I could fix him, or if I was good enough he would change, all the while waiting for crumbs.
Friends and family have been anxious for me to “get back out there and date” but I have been afraid to, as I realize I lack the skills and dating savvy, and did not know how to identify the players, or worse yet, someone like my ex and go down then same path again. The information in your videos is exactly what I have been looking for and am looking forward to the 4 week HTGWYWFM course work. I am not looking to rush into a relationship right now and am working on getting myself healthy, finally tackling my bucket list and living life. I am not bitter about my divorce and most of my friends would characterize me as very positive, gracious and generous…i have made a conscious decision to not waste mental and emotional energy on my ex, but to learn from what the experience was. i do not seem to be having trouble attracting men…I just have been putting off dating them.
any other suggestions for a dating novice?
what i really want is someone who wants me for who i am, all the time, for a long time, a committed time, a good time, but not just for a good time in bed!! so no sleeping with someone right off the bat…and we’ll just see if he pushes for it (most usually do) or if he’s a good guy and won’t mind.
Alright ! Its amazing ! Right after this video, I met a REAL man; he IS BF Material !! So cool.
I need the next video !!!!
2 years ago I decided to begin divorce from emotionally unattached, verbally + financially abusive husband after 25 years marriage. I started chatting with old fiance who presented himself as a separated father with a daughter. I was the “one who got away” and he looked for me after gaining sobriety but I had married. He hid his financial woes. He told me his wife kicked him out and that she was a maniac (which I believe). After 1.5 years of weekend dates he finally let it slip that he wants us to live together but his wife and daughter still do not know we have been seeing each other. He says he can’t afford to divorce her but only remains in contact so he can see his daughter. It seems everytime I try to have a serious discussion about our relationship and future, he finds a reason to change the topic and then stops talking with me for something I have said or done. Lately his boss and family have been quite upset with him so he is hiding from them too. I understand I am not a good communicator but this is driving me nuts. Is he a combo of elusive cry baby?
Yes, I appreciate this video. I always went with the hunter. I was pushed into marriages, but still like you say, he doesnt take the relationship further.
One week after my first marriage, the hunter “confided” to me that he really didn’t like my cooking after all.
I went on making his meals 3x a day for 20 yrs. If I didnt, I would have become obsolete ! This guy IS the one where we need to move on from, and my advice is to make certain you find support in your departure.
Ok so I used to date the hunter, or should I say attempt to date them! After a long time out from the dating scene Recently I attracted a hunter turned cry baby and cut him loose before meeting up with him for a date, which felt good. Now I’m talking to what seems like a relationship ready guy, so I will see if over time, his actions continue to match his words. My only feeling about this guy is that he may be a mamas boy – how do you decipher whether he is just looking out for her or if it is going to be an issue? Perhaps another time factor? Anyway, looking forward to the next post and already enjoying choosing not to go into pursue mode and giving him the space to show me what he is about 🙂
Thank you so much for this and all of your other videos, Marni! I just started dating a 50-shades-of-Grey kind of guy and although nothing has happened yet in the sex department, we have gotten a little too “comfortable” with each other over texting. I have shown him a little bit of skin over pictures messages. And now I realize I have now spoiled everything because of this. We went on our first date last Thursday and thanks to your videos I was strong enough to not sleep with him. I guess I’m getting mixed messages from him. He texted me yesterday (the day after our date), but he hasn’t contacted me ever since. His birthday is coming up next week. Should I text him “happy birthday” or should I just let him go and forget about the whole thing?
I date often Mr. Elusive.. and after a while they use the Disclaimer! 🙁
And like you said, I never heard the ‘but’… I only heard: ‘you are a great woman, you are the greatest I ve ever met, you are so strong.. bla bla bla…
Thanks for the different types of guys you created.
And thanks for emphasizing on setting a goal.
I usually attract the hunter. And I completely go into the Geshia mentality. I the future I’m going to listen to his disclaimers. The last guy I dated right on the first day said he was a jerk. I totally played the cool girl and just rationalized it that he was just using it as a defense mechanism. Next time I will listen and be live him.
Thank you for this video. I am truly greatful for the information.
Wow, I’ve dated Mr Crybaby, Mr Hunter, all of them. What if I am in a long distance relationship and he keeps promising marriage but it’s been 4.5 years. I just want a visit and see if we can live in same coiuntry
Thanks for this video, it helped me to realise the guy I was still missing was a cry baby and not good boyfriend material. Which has helped me to let go of the thought of getting back together with him.
Thank you for this training. I had a long relationship with a ‘cry baby’. As a single mother of 2, it was if I adopted a troubled, 3rd child. It was exhausting and I finally ended the relationship. In an effort to avoid the same mistake I became involved with a ‘strong, silent’ type. It wasn’t until this training that I recognized his true nature. He’s Mr. Quality Casual!! I remained in his ‘outer circle’ and other aspects of his life remained his priority. His words and his actions did not match.
Great info on these first 2 videos. Interesting scenario for me. I was dating a guy that started out as Mr. Quality Casual. I broke it off as I wanted those thing he wasn’t including me in. He came back saying he realized what I was saying was true and wanted to do all the things I’d said I wanted and try to make it work. For about a month it was good, but then he turned into a Hunter. Bad to worse. No more of that one! On to find Mr. Boyfriend Material.
I have a definite pattern of dating Mr Quality Casual, or Mr Elusive or The Hunter. They even roll into one giant Mr No-No, as so many of them were bottom-line commitment-phobic in their own way. I just didn’t see the pattern. Eternally optimistic, I always thought “the next one will be better!” Thanks for helping me identify these bad men. Just having a concept, a label, to understand them by really helps. At least now I know what it feels like to date Mr Giant No-No, I don’t have to do it again!
My ex seems to have characteristics of Hunter, Cry Baby, Mr Elusive and Quality Casual, but certainly not Boyfriend Material – no wonder he was so confusing to me! And a narcissist to boot. Most critical for me is when the words do not match the action. That is the big signal to me.
It’s enlightening material, and comforting to know I’m not crazy!
It seems that it is usually hunters (players) that come into my life. I’m spinning my wheels and getting no where. My action – is to state my vision of a serious, long term relationship up front and notice what there reaction is to that. Thank you Marni, so much!
Thank you so much for the wonderful job you are doing to improve our lives. when I watched the video everything makes sence to me now. I am attracted to the hunters ( the bad boys) and was even married to one for 5 years. I intend to change this pattern now. Only problem is all the bf material guys I have met are so boring. I keep wondering why this is so.
Wow you hit the nail right on the head about the Hunter! I think im dating a hunter because he is perfect on paper and when we are together he makes me feel like his girlfriend. DO they ever change because i really like him 🙁
I could have summed it up. I am Ms. Quality casual but don’t know how to move to a place where I can embrace a man fully as I live with family (care for elderly family member) and a young chil dependent on me. I had a good man leave as I didn’t have time for him. I’m afraid to have a man around all the time until I am sure I want him for the future and afraid to get hurt or have my child hurt again. Thanks for your help!
When I broke up with my ex he tried to get back and I was ready but he seems to have been unsure as he met a new woman when we were apart. He said to me she was very wealthy as her child was in a mental institution so she had time to earn a 6 figure income and the child was not around he said this was a better real for him as I own a modest home in comparison to the large home she owns and I am more concerned with time with my child than time away at a job. I feel rejected because I am who I am. Except for my weight I have to loose, I think I am a good, loyal, caring woman.
I wanted to add I think I am scared as are the widowed men I have met. We lost what is most dear to us.
Before the latest man, I had allowed a man to spend time with me and my child. She loved him, he loved her and I felt like he was it. We spent months just becoming friends and like a family together. 6 months into the relationship he asked for sex but told me then secrets he kept from me. I felt hurt. He told me he had herpes and health problems due to his obesity and diabetes. I was afraid! I agreed to make love with condoms. But we never could as he was impotent with them. Due to his herpes and not able to use a condom and him acting strange (making up stories, narcissist behavior) in eats at times I broke up with him.
I just have not met a man who is ok with me being a full time mom, caretaker to a family member, and my work at loosing 50 lbs, and my limited time…is there a quality man who would like this? How can I frame my life in a positive way to a man? I’m pretty, kind, loving, giving and sensual. I’m a great mom and my child is lovely. Thank you so much.
Marni, what is your suggestion when you are widowed with young children and no help with the children?
I seem to attract men who are widowed with little children, which is fine, except they see me sporadically. I was told he was busy with his job, home repairs, and the kids. I just am scared to get closer because I have never received a gift from him nor has he asked me to do family things. He seems afraid if we are serious it will bring drama (his words). He said he just can’t explain.
I am myself aloof in ways as I too still feel some grief and I am still working to organize a new life and loose weight etc. I also caretake a family member so my free time is limited for a man unless he’s cool with coming over to my home.
Suggestions and thoughts are welcome!
It sounds like you will benefit from the “Dating Fast”. That’s just taking 30 days off from ALL dating — online and otherwise, to focus on yourself. During that time I recommend taking The D-Factor Process. It sounds like just the thing you need. http://datingwithdignity.com/shop/the-d-factor-process/
Seriously good, especially if we didn’t learn discernment or how to type-cast…we still need to recognize where a man may be coming from, when he’s playing games and making disclaimers with no intention of getting emotionally involved – thank you for sharing Marni!
I woe truly like to say thank you for the video it was a good learning experience. I think I have dated everyone of those guys I finally see I’ve been choosing those types all along. I now know not what to chose I hope as I start dating again I attract real boyfriend material and not just players. Got a new attitude thanks to you know now I don’t have to settle there really are good men out there! So wish me luck! Thanks!
In all my life I never knew that I was the “problem”
by my way of thinking! This is such an eye opener. As I
Watched your video I realize that I’m attracted to the
Cry baby. I had the need to take care/fix him. Then
Later I was left empty because I never received what I
Put in the relationship so it never worked out.
I recently reconnected with an ex and thought that
Maybe this time it’s going to be different but as soon
As I saw your video I realize that I’m already seeing all
The red flags. I need to change the way I think and your tools
Are going to help me. Thank you so much.
As i know what i know now had i ask three weeks ago direct for the guy what he want in a relationship. Then i had know he is a big hunter after i met him two days he say for me he meet the girl of his life we can be friends. That was fine with me then he begin to contact me more and i ask him what about the other girl he said they are not married. I say i don’t like that. He said they didn’t see each other anymore. Thank you for that great information you give. I think i am more prepare for next time.
I just stopped dating a combo of the hunter/crybaby. He gave me the disclaimer but his “but” was him asking for time to get his last relationship out of his head. I told him call me when it’s out of your system but he didn’t want to stop talking to me. Turned all sweet and kept telling me how much he likes me. As time went on I realized that he was unable to respond to my emotions in the way that I needed and it made me re-evaluate his emotional maturity. He took everything feeling I shared and personalized it feeling like I was telling him he was wrong/ bad.
I’m def going to start paying attention to the disclaimers and stop allowing his reasons or insistence win me over.
Oh my God, I have just realised I’m have been struggling with a Disclaimer-Elusive for 3 years without understanding how to act….
Thanks for make me understand it’s not me, now…
I’m so grateful for the advice and perspectives you share on dating, Marni. I grew up with my dad, younger brother and our dog (also male) and because my dad chose not to date until I finished high school, I didn’t have any close female influences in my life until I was 18 and moving 350mi away for college. I grew up wrenching on cars, going to swap meets and believing a very mid century (read: oppressive) view of femininity. Needless to say, my love life suffered greatly. The story improves, though; I met someone I thought was a dream come true and immediately went to work on healing an I realistic amount of self transformative growth in as short amount of time as possible… You won’t be surprised when I tell you that the dream promptly exploded in my face since, obviously, I was a ticking time bomb going into it and also because (I was too jaded to let myself see) he wasn’t boyfriend material. Bonus: had he been bf material, it may not have gone kaboom, but he’d still have snuck out stage left – as he should’ve, as I would’ve in his shoes – and I accept full responsibility for my part in creating this.
Didn’t I say there was good news? I did! It’s you! Part of my “get gf ready rich quick plan” involved studying every resource dating with dignity has made available via YouTube, and any other give away on your site. I’ve passed your links on to my dearest friends as they struggle with similar feats.
It’s a year since the sonic boom I caused above, and I definitely don’t have it all figured out but my picker has healed up quite a lot, and gives people a chance who I may not have looked at before; I’ve done some assertiveness skills training, I’ve gotten into the depth of my core wound and learned how to sit with it instead of project it, and come to understand that there is no “better” destination….. Just as there is no relationship destination. I know there’ll be ups and downs, and I feel confident that in the dark times I will do the best I can and that this involves dignity. (Proudly, I can say that when my life detonated last year I did all my healing privately, did not beg or crawl, I did reach out about six months later to apologize and this was received albeit flatly thus I took the hint.)
Anyway, my point is, I haven’t been able to completely capitalize on your programs but did my best to fill in the blanks by researching gender, femininity and a plethora of other academic topics and have benefitted well but i would never have even known where to start without the nuggets you’ve generously given at no charge and I am profoundly grateful.
First of all thank you very much for teaching us. You will be in my prayers in the whole life. I did not any one to tell me about theses secrets. I just got aged without involving myself in the ROMANTIC WORLD and its problem. 2 years ago, I was tired and afraid to be alone. Then I decided to be open. I met a Mr.Hunter. It was for short period, he was helpful when he was around but he diapered suddenly while he promised me when he comes back of a trip, we will engage!! Never came back. He ruined me or I allowed it. I had pain badly and suffered a lot.
Then I met a mix of Mr.Hunter, Mr.quality casual ( I gave him a nickname: Mr.Busy. Actually he gave engagement ring to me on Feb.20th. But since he bought it without consultation with me I accepted it as my birthday gift and delayed valentine gift 🙂
We started to look at some wedding dresses and one time when I was trying the dresses, he used a very bad word when he saw me at dress. I was in shock. I asked him to drive me to a hotel since I dont live in the same city as he is living. I told him everything is over. Relationship must be base on respect and love. and he broke one branch. Anyway he apologized many many times. I accepted his word that it does not repeat again. But just two weeks later, when again I explained him about a new dress that I recently tried it that day, he told me ‘I make everything complicate. He wished he could escape. And it is funny I am looking for a wedding dress while there is not a groom at the wedding day’. Again I got upset. I cried and told him I can not continue in this manner. He the day after, called me and told me he did not escape from me, but from the works. He loves me etc.
I should tell you we live in two countries. I live in Europe. He lives in Maryland-USA. He told me from first he comes to me and live together since I did not like distance relationship. We thought we invite 30 people (25 from his side). I just tell you this because he told me I make everything complicate!
And he is 50 years. I just turn 35years old. He divorced 10 years ago, no children. I am not married. I like to have a small wedding. I feel it is a dream for every girl!
I am heart broken, tired now. I research in internet to find solution for my problem. I study books written by Andrew Matthews and Louise Hay. You are amazing. Thank you for teaching girls what is true about men and communication.
God bless you!
Marni, I keep on dating men that just want to take me to bed and not really want to get to know me, very frustrated that I don’t even want to go on dates anymore. I really enjoyed your video how to weed out men that don’t want to commit and excuses they come up with. I want to be my self and express my self, that they would actually hear what I’m saying.
Wow! I think the first guy i dated was a cry baby , then came the hunter plus Mr Elusive and let me tell you that this guy was my biggest heartbreak! Hurts like crazy!! Thank god I got myself out of their lives for good! I totally used to have the ‘Cool Gir’ mentality and I was the one doing all the giving…but not anymore! I am truly making an effort to get my feminine energy going and being able to receive. I am totally ready for bBF material to come along! And I feel so confident and happy! I cant wait! A big help! Right now I am attracted to this one guy in college and from this video i kinda figured out that he might actually be mr. quality casual! Not too sure though ! Need to spend more time with him and then decide!
Thank you so much Marni! Its been so amazing!!
Lots of love from India!
Ugh Narcissistic cry babies. I know the way to avoid them is to stop caretaking and coddling them them them:)
I will stay in my feminine and see what they are giving me and respond accordingly. If I get nothing, there is no relationship. Very simple:)
Hurting: First thing first, what do YOU want out of this relationship? Figure out what you want, and then communicate that to him. Say something like, “I’m at a point in my life where I’m looking for XYZ. Is that what you are looking for too?”
Judy: Yes, this guy doesn’t sound like Mr. Boyfriend Material at all! Good for you for recognizing it, and for committing to finding someone better. On to the next!
Cindy: There’s nothing wrong with having fun with a player if you aren’t looking for anything serious either. However, I’d encourage you to ask yourself why you’re looking for a distraction. Do you really not want a relationship, or are you afraid of being vulnerable?
Joni: Loving your “aha” moments! You’re very welcome…keep watching, reading, and commenting!
Wendy: Thank you so much for your comment. I’m glad you found us too. Please continue exploring and reading and commenting!
Elaine: Thanks for commenting and sharing your story! My advice is, have fun! Go with it and see what happens! It sounds like you two have a nice connection, so enjoy it, get to know him, and take it slooowww. 🙂 Keep me posted!
Your videos have been inspirational. I like the characters you created for identifying these different men. I used other characters like the sport fanatic, alcoholic, workaholic, mamas boy… I like how your characters leave out the sport, alcolhol, work aspect because a good guy may have an aspects of these things to a degree, but doesn’t make it a deal breaker. These guys are addictive, it’s like gettimg stuck in a gerbils cage.
I love the freeing idea of recognizing the top ten % of men who a quality relationship men. I am eager to learn more how to recognize those men and make myself recognizable to them. My Father had been one of these Guys so that made quite an impact on me even though I felt like there had to be more to a relationship. I began to then copy theses attributes which took me farther away from the love and healthy relationship that I truly desire.
I am so happy that I was lead to your website. I really feel like I have more tools to attract the love of my life.
Zsuzsi: You’re welcome! Thanks for your message, and please keep reading and commenting!
Ellen: I’m a definite advocate of working on yourself and nurturing your son, but I get the feeling that deep down you also want an intimate relationship. I don’t want you to give up on that desire because your engagement didn’t work out. Keep reading and commenting, and when you’re ready I’d love to introduce you to some coaching programs that I think will help you develop your self-growth so you can meet someone who will be perfect for you. 🙂
Lydia: Love your comment! Keep reading and commenting!
Tracey: You do not have to settle for a passion-less relationship! Absolutely not!
A lot of women suffer from only meeting the nice guys they’re not attracted to, and I do have something that can help. It’s called The D-Factor Process. It’s a private coaching program that gives you and I the ability to figure out why you’re only getting asked out by men you’re not attracted to — and what you have to do differently in order to meet healthy men you ARE attracted to. Here’s the link: http://www.whatsmydfactor.com/ Let me know if you have any questions!
Cheryl: Thank you so much for your question. I’d love to give you my insights. But first — I see that you wrote this message in December. Do you want to give me an update on how things are going now?
Hey Marni and ladies,
So, my love life = nonexsistent, I’ve been very passive about the men in my life. So what have I been up to? Honestly, I’ve been focusing on me. I am in a graduate program right now, and am loving what I’m pursuing. I am excited about my future and thought, hey, it would be cool to share experiences with someone else. About a month ago, I decided to do it… I want to get back in the dating scene. Over the past year, I’ve been casually talking to some guys, even went on a couple dinner dates (and no sex), never really progressing much, and during the time I was okay with it. I don’t see any of these guys anymore, or talk to them, and I’m ready for someone new, and someone who is looking for the same thing as me.
So the juicy stuff! Three weeks ago, I met someone new and was surprised. We first came into contact and exchanged numbers 3 weeks ago. Since then, we’ve been talking a couple times throughout the week (not everyday, that would freak me out). We haven’t met in person yet, he goes to graduate school an hour away so he mentioned the idea of video chatting and we did. We met each other the first time a couple days ago, we had a virtual handshake and I suggested bringing a cup of coffee. He brought an empty cup because he wasn’t thirsty, but still brought a cup (cute.) I was not expecting much, but surprisingly really enjoyed myself. In general, when we talk via phone/text, it is easy to talk, but actually putting his face with his voice, really got me excited. I want to get to know this guy more! He mentioned me visiting soon (which I am going to visit a friend who goes to the same school) and also mentioned grabbing dinner in a month when we are home for spring break (same hometown). We are taking things slowly, which like. I am hopeful he will contact me soon like he said he would. All I want is to continue talking and get to know each other. So why am I contacting you, Marni? Maybe a little advice, encouragement? .. Stop my overthinking (haha). I don’t know him well enough to know which manimal he is, but I will keep each in mind and see how things go.
Any advice? Thank you for all your help, and your time!
Is it possible for a man to be a combination of 2 or more types? And what’s the main distinction between the Hunter and Mr. Elusive?
I agree totally with the categories you have outlined in your video. I am almost 60 and have met my fair share of all of these guys over my lifetime. In the past almost four years of being divorced however it seems impossible to get a date. I have tried most of the online dating sites. I have had my profile written by a professional. All I seem to attract are what I call scammers. Supposedly they live with 20 miles but actually after talking to them for a while they are abroad or had to go abroad for work and eventually ask if I can send them money for whatever, a hotel, clothes, a helicopter propeller, their childs hospital bill… I have heard it all and the stories keep my colleagues amused. It gets tiring and maybe what I need is to be able to pick these guys out from the crowd on the dating sites so I can meet a grown-up responsible nice guy. I know they are out there I just can’t even get one to go for coffee with. Yes I have met two nice guys in four years. One is 20 years older than me and only wants a lover and friend with no commitments. The other is nice but an alcoholic and we have become friends because from our first date it would never work with his drinking. Any suggestions? I am stymied.
Thank you so much for making this information available to many women.
After 20 years of being married & then being single for 7 years I met a man (45, never married) that has great potential on paper. I’ve been involved with him for 10 months in a long-distance relationship. He does call & text (w/ breaks in between, his reason for the breaks is he gets sidetracked at work – he is a workaholic), but I am always the one traveling to see him (I guess I allowed myself to become the geisha girl).
The worst is that this relationship is consuming my life (to the point of getting me even depressed) & that I know how he treats me is wrong but I can’t seem to move on. Each time I decide to move on, he calls and tells me that he loves me & misses me. He even mentions marriage (knowing I don’t want to get married again). I think I caused it myself though because I told him initially I did not want a serious relationship, but we both developed feelings for each other since then. I guess he’s mr. elusive, qc & hunter all in one. Do you have any advice how to handle this? Thank you.
Ally: If you want to see if his patterns change and he gets more serious, you could date him for a month or so. If he still seems like Mr. Quality Casual, and you really want a serious relationship, then I recommend moving on.
Doris: You’re doing the right thing by saying no to the wrong guys. It sounds like now you have to shift your focus to learning how to attract the right men. Check out some of these videos to get started:
Vika: You’re welcome!
Nancy! You’re welcome! Thank you for leaving this comment. I hope I get to support you on your journey to find the love of your life!
Michelle — You are welcome! Keep watching!
I have always dated the “cry baby” for the most part. The initial connection is always intense. All my long term relationships were from men who had a rough upbringing and I would take care of him because I was sure I could fix him. Oh, and yes most of them were heavy drinkers also, so in the beginning “party girl” – me loved it and let’s face it it was fun.
Action change for me- ( after just attending Ignite your Life in CA). I’m going to fix me ( gremlins be gone) so that my boyfriend material can come along soon.
I went through very heartbreaking relationship in 2013, i can’t get over it completely even after 6 months. Now when i listened to your video session i realized that have been dating combination of Hunter and Mr.Elusive. Unfortunately I never loved anybody so deeply before in my life. I do my best to move on, but it’s very painful and hard process.
Thank you Marni for such great info, i wish I knew about your secrets much earlier. You are a smart woman! Thank you 🙂
I think your advice is really good. I have been following this advice and taking action for a long time, but what ends up happening is I say no to the wrong guys and then I don’t meet another one for a very long time or the same type of guy shows up and I say no again and then I don’t meet anyone else for a long time again. it’s just over and over the same thing.
Marni, You make so much sense. I learned so much from the first two videos. I have been attracted to hunters. I think I feel like I’m not worth telling someone what it is I am looking for so I’ll take the crumbs. I never really thought I had a choice. I do now see that I am responsible for my own happiness. Now that I have an idea of what types of men I have been attracted to I can now change my thoughts, feelings and actions. I can get what I want. Thank you so much!!
My name is Diana Gerakyyan from London, UK. I’ve just recently discovered you and you are amazing!!! You are the most effective dating coach I’ve ever come across with!!! Everything you say makes a perfect sense. So far I have not met the right guy and I now see that the problem is in me. I keep attracting the wrong guy. But what is interesting, I think we all feel deep in our hearts when the guy is not right. We know that it should be better, it can be better,we know we are not happy with the way things are. But our mistake is we keep putting up with that. And thanks to you, it will stop right now. Thank you, Marni!
Wow, after watching this video I realized that I’m totally going out with mr. quality casual. The problem is, I’ve only had 2 dates so I’m not sure if it will change. After how many dates should I decide to stop seeing him if the pattern doesn’t change?
waow!! I’ve been dating (and living with) a Mr Elusive for more than 10 years! And it explains so well my bad self-confidence and my patterns.
And for about 4 years I am dating Hunters (and a really good one for now more than 1 year…), I stayed 4 months with a Mr Quality Casual (I laught when I read the “outer circle status”, cause I did not understand why he never made me meet his friends, familly and collegue).
The Cry Baby? never met him and won’t!
And now I know… it cost me a lot in terms of self-image and self-love. It cost me my vulnerability : not to be able to open myself anymore… until now and your videos!
That’s really cool!!! Thanks a lot 🙂
It helps me a lot and I can’t wait for the 3rd part 😀
Thank you so much for these eye opening videos. I just realized, I married a Cry Baby 7 years ago, no wonder our marriage did not work in any level. I gave up on fixing him about 3 years ago, we are separated, but still keep contact. He does not want to divorce. So far, I did not force it ( it took so much time to recover, regain myself), but by now I feel I am ready to move on and have a really fulfilling, intimate, growing relationship.
Thanks & blessing.
Hi Marni: great videos! Your hunter “disclaimer” reminds me of an old saying my very first boss told me. Everything before the word “but” is BS – and it’s true not only in relationships but life in general! Thx for the great advice.
I have learned so much from your videos and also from everybody’s responses. I just had a relationship with someone who I still am not sure which one he is but I now recognize what I did and that was to be too needy and just settled for the crumbs.
Is there anything wrong with just having fun with someone who is a player? I do not have any personal relationship with him as he lives out of town. We message back and forth and now I recognize that he is a player. He is planning to come to town shortly however I am immune to the games and view it simply as amusement.We send jokes and tease each other about sports teams. He sends romantic songs and I’ve sent other music back to him. I just find him an amusing distraction.
My last boyfriend was closest to being Mr. Elusive but worse.. Completely closed, occasionally opens up but then closes up tight. Does not want to share himself. emotionally unavailable. Wants to control me. Invalidates me. Rejects me. We had a passionate relationship sexually but that has disappeared. He criticizes, blames, wants to demean me, has a big ego. I love him I don’t know why. I choose to find a man who is boyfriend material now!
I just found you and I am so glad you have come into my life! After watching the second video, I’m hoping you may steer me in the right direction.
Here’s my story: I starting talking to a man on an online dating site. We are both 56 years old. I live in North Carolina. He lives in Ohio. We talked and texted and emailed every day for 2 months and things got pretty intense. I mean he told me he loved me, etc. He flew out to meet me, stayed 4 days with me. We had a great time. Everything was good and I was on cloud nine. He called me when he got back home and said something I found to be bizarre. A friend asked him if we were a couple now and he said, “it’s too soon to tell”. What??? I’m not sure what category he falls in to, but all I know is I am very confused. He does not call and text with the frequency he used to but when we do talk, he seems to care and want to be involved with me. I’ve never been in a long distance relationship before but I know it takes work and commitment. Something I feel he is lacking in. I really felt he was “the one”. If I could, I would move to Ohio and he said he wants me there so we can have a real relationship, but circumstances are not letting me do that right now. He has 2 teenage kids that he wants to stay close to and I understand he can’t move to NC either.
Is this a lost cause?
Thanks Marni for all of your amazing advice. I have become more conscious in my dating and I am getting better at seeing the different types of Manimals out there. Your explanation of what to look for greatly helps!
The big question for me is, I have met some really nice guys and there isn’t that spark. I meet the ones that I know are the cry babies and wanting to suck me dry emotionally and I still feel an attraction and internal pull. I can consciously look at the signs to know they are not a healthy match for me and because of this walk away but that attractive pull is still there. I have tried to date guys with no spark for a few months and the spark has not grown for me.
With time and practice of dating and looking for the signs, will I eventually be physically attracted to a healthy guy or do I have to settle for a healthy guy that is relationship ready and sacrifice passion?
Thanks again for all your support and wisdom!
I love that. I’ve been there with Mr Elusive, Mr Cry Baby and latterly (and boy was he hot (although of course only on his terms)) the Hunter, including trying to change his intentions by sleeping with him since of course I got attached!. I’m not planning to try out Mr Quality Casual now but am committed to being casually QUALITY MYSELF (until I find out if his intentions match mine and what he wants long term).
Lill — I can imagine how much that hurts, but it’s so good that you’re recognizing him for the manimal he is! Thank you so much for sharing your story.
Hi Marni, loved the video and recognise the hunter-elusive guy, the cry babies and BF-material in my past. Having to get out of a (not-so-obvious-)cry baby relationship right now (which is hurtful as he is now playing the guilt card & you’ll never be happy cards, ouch!) and am therefore really keen to understand the ‘Disclaimer’ for (or, rather against) future cry babies.
(Guess I tend to first exude ‘Miss Independent Positive Caring Heart’ vibes, hence super attractive to Mr Elusives, Hunters (to get out whenever) and Cry Babies (to suck me dry). Yet, at the bottom of my heart I am not supra confident, defo caring for others but always self-critical towards myself aka I could/should be better, give more etc; which some the aforementioned Mr Crybaby then can use (manipulate) to ‘get out’ when they have either ‘grown up’ or when they turn into a Mr Badass?)
I know I have to do some work myself on how to set boundaries much earlier and also how to look after my own needs (yep, a trusting loving and mutually supportive relationship based on honest communication) – but for now I’d be grateful if you could to re-express the ‘Disclaimer’ relating to Mr manipulative Crybaby (as done so wonderfully for the other Manimals 😉
Thanks a ton xx
OMG!!! You are amazing!
I usually date the quality casual, I actually married and divorced him. I also fall for the cry baby. I am a n,urse and it is easy to get sucked into the caring mode. I am not going to give more than he gives. I am going to step out of my comfort zone and ask questions, and really listen to what they say!!
I want loving relationship that is long term, caring, has substance for life!
I have seen things that I have done repeatedly, the relationship rut is so right on. Now, that I am aware and thinking about it, I am purposely stopping, thinking and breathing when I talk to guys or go on dates.
Thanks, I will continue to study and learn. I want a loving long term relationship!!
I have been dating the cry baby. After watching your video I realize just how emotionally immature these guys are, not bad guys, just not ready for a serious relationship. And to be completely honest I see some of those tendencies in myself, that is not ready, not knowing what I am really looking for. I need to create my vision, so that next time I am dating someone who may be a cry baby I will be able to realize he doesn’t connect to what my vision is. Thanks! I am looking forward to your next video.
I ALWAYS DATE THE CRYBABY..I WAS ENGAGED T HIM..JUST BROKE THAT OFF IN MAY 2013..NOOW I’M WORKING ON MYSELF AND WONDERING HOW TO LET HIM KNOW AFTER WE SELL OUR HOUSE WE NEED TO LIVE SEPARATELY…??? I GUESS JUST SAY IT…AND IN THE FUTURE..THE NEAR FUTURE..I’M JUST GOING TO FOCUS ON MY SELF GROWTH AND NURTURING MY SON…THANK YOU
My previous boyfriend was definitely a hunter. I have learnt to recognise these guys and I’m no longer interested.
The last man I dated looked like boyfriend material but we met on holiday and live apart. When we saw each other again after 2 months, he turned out to be more quality casual, sharing very little about the details of his life and even being sometimes silent and aloof.
Not as attracted as he had initially been he said.
Hi marni, I love these videos, thank you 🙂 it was interesting watching this one, I found myself relating to the Mr elusive and the boyfriend material, and I do mean I was relating, not the guys in date. I don’t know if I could reliably say what sort of guys I’ve been dating, coz I rarely give them an opportunity to get far enough to find out. I want a loving long term relationship, so, funnily enough, I want to change that and this stuff could very well give me a way to do that. Also lately I have been meeting amazing guys, and now maybe I’ll be able to tell if they’re boyfriend material or not.
WoW!! I’ve grown from “The Hunter” but am lately running into “Mr. Quality Casual”. Thanks Marni!!
Rach: I’m so glad to hear that the MANimal Species information is helping you! The crybaby especially looks good on paper, but you’re right to listen to the your instincts. Keep me posted on your progress!!
Karen: You’re welcome! I’m so glad you’re enjoying the videos!
I think I may be dating the cry baby. We have had 6 dates and spent hours on the phone, but I recently started to realise that most of our conversations are about him, his past, how he struggled at school and was bullied, how he had a broken childhood, how he had to re-start uni, how he got someone pregnant and wasn’t ready to be a dad but now wants to be, but only gets to see his daughter when his ex says it is convenient for her. He seemed like such a great guy and we seemed to connect. I didn’t share my past with him as I’d made a concerted effort to start my next relationship in a positive space without ‘my baggage’. I’m really dissapointed because something inside me is saying ‘it’s not right’ but on paper it all seems so good and we had some lovely times, but things are starting to turn a bit morose.
I met and started dating this guy before I discovered you and DWD. I’d like to say how thankful I am to find a place that makes sense of it all. I’ve recommended it to my sister and friend who are both successful and single women, wondering what we are all doing wrong! Thank you
Hello again….WOW! You’ve hit the nail on the head for ALL the men I’ve dated and the two I married….Hunter, elusive, cry babies! And now that you’ve set those stereotypes straight in my mind I will be able to laugh, raise my ego (by their lines of blah blah blah) and RUN to the nearest AVAILABLE male in my energy level.
Thanks so much for sharing this awesome video and I cannot wait to hear Video #3.
I have unfortunately been pursued and settled for Hunters, and Mr. Elusive , because I didn’t know my own power! I was under the false assumption, that men hold the power in the relationship; but after viewing these videos, I realize that I have been giving the wrong signals and attracting the wrong men for me! I grew up in a household where my parents loved and respected each other, and were partners… they had an unbreakable bond, till my father died, at the young age of 51. I want that special man, that Lord willing, I can be with till death. I have been anxious, nervous, and have said things to men, as result, to “scare them off”; when they were actually “Hunters”, and Mr. Elusive, and I shouldn’t have been wasting my time, or giving my energy away to them! I will make it a priority, going forward, to make my desires and wishes known, upfront, so I want end up frustrated and staying in these dead end scenarios, a minute longer!
Emma: You can’t turn a guy into one of the other MANimals, so no, you didn’t turn a Mr. Boyfriend Material into a Mr. Elusive or Mr. Quality Casual. I can’t even be sure that this guy was indeed a Mr. Boyfriend Material!
It sounds like what happened is this man liked pursuing you, but you started pursuing him, and that turned him off. I can’t tell you how to get him interested in you again, but I can tell you that most men like to do the pursuing, so in the future, let them!
Lee: I can’t be 100% sure which MAnimal category he falls into, but I know for sure that he is NOT Mr. Boyfriend Material. You’re absolutely doing the right thing. On to the next!!
Katie: Yikes! That must have been painful. Now you know the signs to watch out for! 😉
Ashley: How about instead of taking a break from dating to focus on your career, you take a break from dating and focus on your career AND your personal development? That way, after the break, you’ll be able to select better men to date.
Amy: Thanks for sharing your story! Sometimes a dating timeout is just the thing you need to regroup and pick better men.
Cherie: YES, like attracts like! If you’re not ready for a serious relationship, you’re not going to attract a guy who is ready for a serious relationship. Keep watching the videos and commenting! 🙂
Hi Marni. I think I turned a good Mr BF Material guy into Mr Elusive/Mr Quality Casual. In fact Im sure I have. He initiated contact with me and ‘chased’ me until after nearly 2 months I finally went out with him. We ended up really hitting it off, similar personalities, likes, dislikes, chemistry etc. Well after a couple of dates I did what I hate what guys do to me….bombarded him with texts. I thought I was coming through as a strong woman who knew what she wanted, honest and direct and spoke with candor . Looking back at the conversations…omg…what was I thinking, I came across as the opposite- Needy – something that I am not. I feel I freaked him out and he pulled back. He still acts interested and texts me every so often deinitely not like before and its been weeks and hasnt asked me out again. Did I just turn Mr. BF Material to one of the Manimals? and if so is it possible to turn him back?
I think your tips and advice are useful and thank you for that.
I meet this guy while travelling, we spent a few great days together. He took me out on dates and we are always together. When I got back home he text and wanting to talk to me everyday. He ask me to wait for him and ask me to hold on to us until we meet again. He tells me he misses me and can’t wait to spend more time with me nearly everyday. After 2 months of communication he finally coming over here for work. Two days before he about to hop on the plane we had a disagreement, then a day later he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship and doesn’t want to get to know me anymore because he doesn’t know what’s going to happen with his new work. However, he’s still text me his new contact details and still want to be in contact with me. I’ve told him that we can never be friends and that is over between us. Am i doing the right thing? Is he a cry baby or is a quality casual?
I dated Mr. Elusive for a year. Finally got him to commit but 10 days later, he dumped me! All the signs were there, and I chose to ignore them. Never again!
I’m not sure I date one guy over another, as I “cut” myself off from dating for awhile to focus on my career. My “aha” moment from video 1. Right now though I feel as though I may have “lost” bf material, although he pulled a move out of mr. elusive. Jury’s still out on that one. But this is definitely helping me to see what I know I deserve and will pay out in dividends in the long run!
Marni – Love the broken down descriptives of each kind of man.
Last guy I dated for 1 month – MR QUALITY CASUAL. Great time in beginning, let him do most of the chasing 🙂 Then it ended – I think he went back to his twice cheating ex fiance, at least he told me she wanted him back, the last time I ever saw him. Number erased! One before him – MR ELUSIVE. He pursued me hard at first, hot and cold thru 4 mo. relationship, blamed himself said I was great. Great looking, but, hot mess! Twiced divorced and narcissist. How do I know? Couldn’t take criticism and had more clothes and shoes than I did. Oh and couldn’t get over ex cheating wife.
I’m in time out – doing my own thing and enjoying hearing your advice. 🙂 Thank you, thank you for putting my spinning mind at rest . . .lol
Monika: Nice “aha” moment! I commend you for looking inward and trying to improve yourself.
Hi Marnie- I think that I may have been Ms Quality Casual. Does like attract like? Must admit to regularly dating Mr QC, the Vanisher and my all time favorite, the Playa. On some level, I did know that these weren’t the kind of men that I wanted to be dating. Now I’m ready for boyfriend material guy. Thank you for the videos- I’ve been enjoying them. Cherie
Hi Erlene: Thank you so much for sharing your story! I’m happy to hear you’re following your gut and looking out for the red flags. Remember: saying goodbye to the wrong man only means you’ll meet the RIGHT one that much sooner. Much love.
Hello Marni, I am very thankful and grateful that I saw your article/videos that will really help me find the love that I deserve. On the 2nd video, I was matched to the Hunter and the Mr. Quality Casual guy. There were red flags for me, the same like the ones that you have provided in your videos. I am thankful that I used my gut feelings before I met this charming and very handsome guy in person. Before I saw your videos (1 and 2) I cry everyday. I fell for him because of his charisma. He never failed to call me 3x a day for a week and a half and then suddenly the blaming game started before I even met him. Then he just disappeared. Thank you so much for all your help. After watching your videos, I do not cry anymore.
No more mean guys for me! Thank you. Erlene
I am confused.. after watching this grate material and susspect my current date is one of this bad guys I realise that who ir really bad here its me! my god.. I am the cheater, illusive and casual in one… And I meet a good guy who atart susspecting that something is going wrong…
Cathy: Sounds like you two definitely were not a match! Try to forget about him and focus instead on your future. Big hugs.
Terry: Thank you for sharing your story! Keep reading up on the Manimals, so you know how to stop the crybabies before you commit to them! Big hugs.
Brigitte: Yes, you can be a female Quality Casual and Elusive. In order to change this, I recommend taking the D-Factor Assessment to find out why you’re sabotaging your relationship goals, and how to stop. Big hugs.
Yan: Thanks so much for your comment! I’m glad to hear you’re working on yourself, becoming a savvy dater, and enjoying the single life. Keep living it up, and let me know if you have any questions! Big hugs.
OMG!! The last guy is all of them rolled into one except for Mr. Elusive and of course Mr. BF. On a side note……he is Mr. Bisexual. gasp!! A little thing I discovered about a year ago. He still tries to come back into my life from time to time telling me how much he misses me and loves me. Thank God I never allowed him to have sex with me. He is so messed up.
I think I’ve married 2 . .yup 2 … cry babies… but they were definately hard to recognize .. they were needy and had bad relationships with their mom and or other women in their lives… I thought I would be the “one” that proved how great women were … ok so I got tired of them never telling me how great I was? I believe I’m great but somehow I need to be the giver all the time… It is time for CHANGE!!!
Oh my gosh Marni! I’m freaking out a little because two of those men you described were an exact description of my own personality!!! Specifically the “Mr. Quality Casual” and “Mr. Elusive.” I feel like the female versions of those! Help!! What do I need to do to change this?
Tara – Yes! The Manimals DO evolve. However, they don’t evolve with the “help” of a woman. They have to be ready to do it on their own. BIG hugs, Marni
Mary – Unfortunately, crybabies come in all ages, from 15 to 75!
I married my first real boyfriend (cry baby) for 9 years. I was datting a “But….” Man for 2 years. I took some time to know who I am then started dating again. I started dating a man that has now pulled away and is giving me a silent treatment after he suggested lot of plans for the relationship. I have pulled away also and taking the courses and reading John Gray like its going out of style!! Will he return? Who knows and who cares! Im working on me. Loving me. Caring for me. I love myself like never before. I actually cherish this single status!! Yay!!
Thank Marni …
Can’t wait for Video# 3.
The Ahaaa moment was not only I realised about myself but how my catabolic energy was attracting other Manimals and it was a super mega RUT! Now that I am aware, I can not only be aware of my thoughts, feeligns or actions but also watch out for the Disclaimers!
Looking forward to video#3.
Tina – I LIKE that idea! I’ll talk it over with my team and see what we can do. Thanks for the suggestion!
Marni – You’re welcome! Glad you’re liking the videos.
Jennifer – LOVE those ahas! Keep listening for those declaimers. 🙂
I am dipping my toe in the water sort of speak when it comes to dating. I connected with two men online met one and the second stood me up (I suspected he is married, has a wife or become emotionally scared); however, after watching your second video I can say both men are across between the Hunter and Mr. Quality Casual which makes it a little tricky. BUT, my solution is to avoid both types and the others as well. I heard the hints during my conversations but fell for the disclaimers but my saving grace is I was not communicating with them long enough to become emotionally invested and I never slept with either of them. Now that I know what to look for and understand the negative internal messages I have about myself and men in general (I will set relationship goals, boundaries and positive visions for myself). I will STOP anxiety over what if he leaves me for someone else, letting a man define myself worth, and/or internalizing rejection, and I will take time out to think, ask the right questions, be less impulsive and cross these men off my list of potential suitors but first I will start loving myself more, send myself positive affirmations and visions about who I am and why I deserve to be loved, treated with respect and achieve my dating goals. In the end, if I don’t love me then no one else will either. Thank you Marni!
thank you Marni, very good and practical insights into the jungle of relationships . thank you for a friendly direct approach, very refreshing.
I really like what you say about starting with action and asking myself at choice points, “Am I going toward or away from my vision?” I’ve dated all these types of men, but mostly “quality casual, cry baby, and Mr. Elusive.” I did change my approach several years ago, so that I stopped dating someone pretty quickly when they were not the right type. I used to date a man for 2 years before giving up. Then I got it down to 2 months! But I realized I wasn’t ready, so I’ve been working on myself in the past year. When I go back out dating, I want to have raised my energy level to the point where I see the men who want the same thing I do.
Thanks for the inspiration and the validation!
Its been a while..but THIS IS my favorit video…its so hilarious how you naile these type of men…
and yes I know them …I cant help laughing…and yes Ive been crying A LOT… but damn this is funny.
Word of advice (or just an idea) I would like you to make kind of the same video of us women…WHO keeps on Falling for these men
1)Mrs.Needy OhgodIneedareelman (welcome Mr. Hunter)
2)Mrs.Sexaholic formerlymarried (welcome all of you)
5)Mrs.Company&entertainment “I hate to be alone thats why I date
6)Mrs.Successfullbusiness – needs a man …(and children)
well…there is something about it…
Thank you so much for the video. I have not dated in years. However, a married man approached me on my job.I have been attracted to him for a few years, however, I know it can’t go any where because he is married. Out of the blue he started talking to me. I teach so school is out, and I have only heard from him once. He says he wants to talk to me when school starts. BS I am not waiting. I know he is emotionally unavailable as well as unavailable. I guess he fits under all the categories you talked about in the video.
What I want: To be in a relationship where there is mutual reciprocated love and respect and similar values.
I am willing to let go of my need to sacrifice for the needy. I now receive at the level of which I give.
Wow, this was actually painful. I’m attracted to a hunter. Your video was totally spot on. I break up with him, but he calls back and leaves a voicemail so sweet, so heart wrenching – like I’ve broken his heart and I find myself back in the same situation of being the one doing all the work and accepting the crumbs he gives, in the time he has to give it. I’ve been thinking I can fix this -or- I can help make that better. He even gave me the disclaimer: he just wanted to go out every now and again -and- I say what I mean (hun). Almost verbatum to your video. I really wish I had listened sooner. Seen this video sooner. Recognized the signs sooner. And run sooner! I’ll definitely be working on my vision and asking myself next time “Is this moving me in the direction I want to go” Thank you so many times over!
I think I’ve been attracted to a Cry Baby and the Hunter. I guess because I have such a big heart and I always fell into an illusion that maybe or he could be the “One.” I believe I’m on the road of finding my Boyfriend Material; someone who’s ready to commit, ready to give, and emotionally ready.
I would say the hunder and the crybaby are definitely the Manimals I seem to attact. The most recent one I believe is a combination of the two. I’m embarrased to see how I played right in to it and licked the crumbs right off the plate. Time to get clear and start looking for the BF Material guy!
Hi Marni, your videos are awesome and so insightful. I have a question about all the manimals. Do they ever evolve, on their own, into BF material or are they just lost causes for life?
Hi Marni, I have an issue regarding just one guy. I will message you on Facebook the complete story however my question for now is do any of the manimals ever evolve on their own from not being teady to the BF material?
Does AGE matter for a guy being a cry baby?
Because as you described, i really saw my EX there! And he is 31 !
OMG he is for sure a cry baby! I thought this was only for teenagers!
Bev – Yup, sounds like a hunter and a crybaby – and definitely a little emotionally unavailable. On to the next!!
Mariana – GREAT question. Once you master the inner work, the “bad guys” disappear. It looks like them recognizing that YOU are too good for them and won’t fall for their crap. In the same way, the GOOD guys recognize that you’re emotionally available and a good fit for them. Make sense?
Lisa – Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can tell your experiences with this man hurt you. Even though you didn’t know about the different manimals before you started dating, you can still use this information to make your next dating relationship more successful. Good luck to you!
You spot on Marni, I have been so confused for 4 and a half years and you just clarified it all in a short video. I wish I have seen your video before I met him. I had separated and eventually divorced then met him. he is the 2nd man I have ever intimated with although I am 49 Y/O i was too simple and naive to tell the tricks of Mr Elusive, Mr. Q C and Hunter all in one. he does changed a little bit and struggling to match my standard (being committed) but being a single for all his life time (56 now) he is risking to lose me to face “the single life” he wanted to get out but seem to stuck in. I have hard time to cut it and didn’t want to see him sad and hurt. I also still try to find a way both of us will be happy. But it’s really hard. Learnt a bit about loving myself the way I wish he would has really inject a new vision in my life. Hopefully I will be happy and so will he, even if we break up which I am getting ready for. Love your insight and wish my daughter and every woman learn it before they started dating.
i’m confused about this here: So even after I master the inner work, like, really love myself and change the self-destructive patterns, and stop leaking ,and… become more whole, even though i will still attract the bad guys?
I’m so curious to know how this inner change can make me see the boyfriend material men!!! how does it look like!?
That was a great program. The guy that I was with for 7 months and was very attentive at first and then just stopped calling and after a month called to say it was not me it was him and he was very depressed. I assume that he was a hunter and a crybaby. Does that sound correct.
Nicola: YAY! As long as you keep learning, growing and stretching, you’ll find the guy for you in no time. 🙂
Some really great tips here thanks so much Marni, I am going to listen again right now. Thanks so much
Toni: Woohoo! Good for you! Keep saying no to the wrong guys, and the right guy will appear faster. 🙂
Annita: Good for you! You deserve the whole cake, sistah! Big hugs.
Dorine: First, I’m so sorry that you’re going through this painful experience. This is one of the primary reasons why I say no sex until 1) you have a commitment or 2) you KNOW you’re headed toward a long-term commitment with this man. As hard as it is, let this one go. Also, look into taking the D-Factor Assessment: http://www.whatsmydfactor.com. It will reveal what you’re doing to attract unavailable men, and how to stop. Big hugs.
Thanks Marni for the great coaching. Loved this video. I just met last week and broke off a dating situation with a cry baby after a couple of dates. I pulled my power back in. Woohoo! If their actions don’t match their words, I’m out. That’s my deal breaker. Thank you!
Wow, this is so amazing, I just broke up a few months ago, it took me a long time to understand where I went wrong….I was actually dating a quality casual.
Well from now, i wont accept crumbs coz i know i deserve the full cake.
Thank you so much Marni
I got involved with this man that works to much we spent 4 days together great sex and all he bought me gifts on his first time coming, cooked and did laundry for me we talked but he was always correcting me in the way i talked. I was so tired one night i just went to bed it was sucking my energy from me. He took my heart and in my mind he felt like my next husband. He doesnt call i told him my feelings and now havent heard from him its been almost three months since our meeting i have not been out since and want to find the one so i am listening to your great videos and trying to figure out what i am leaking. I always attracted unavailable men and want to stop and get a good one, help
What a great video, really made since as to who I have been dating.I tend to meet the quality casual kind of guy.He tends to be interested then backs away, ignores me and when I do express how I feel he ignores me more until I get frustrated and end the relationship.
Guess what your advice really helped me from your previous e-mail to me.I ended my previous relationship(you know the guy who was ignoring me when I expressed my feelings).l sent him a text message since he did not want to take my calls, he read the message but no response.
I must thank you for I now know ,and feel that I’m worthy of so much more .I want to find love again and be loved in return.
Can’t wait to see video 3
Comment to the Manamals (animals) I usually date!
Ill go with what Tijuana is writing. I will ask him (if we are in for meeting again) what values he has …and what he likes to do..and see if we have something we both like..or as she says : what they plan and tell him what I like. I will change my “mojo” !
Great video great advice (im learning American slang fast).
The manamals just dated from aug 2012 till 5 days ago must be a combination of: The hunter…(damn good looking “A Man” worked in the North sea …oil industry) dangerous…handsome smart intelligent funny..”very honest”) The cry baby (not emotionel mature …needy he liked breasts ha ha got scared if you shared to much with him)…and Mr elusive…like a handsoap….blowing hot and Cold…
But I knew that the first time I saw him…I actually wrote it to my girlfriend..that he was no good but great in bed..so if she wanted a bit of fun….
Well she showed him..and we became lovers…
As it turned out everything was wrong with this guy…he came from bad family conditons…my heart was bleeding…he moved over here where I live due to a woman..but it did not work out..because he did not want to go to the market with her.. .(ha ha) or just out shopping. He had depressions ever since childhood ..he had a house that was a mess..but he could not be botherede by the house nor the bank…he had ADHD…
he used to be a sexaholic “but that was so empty”….
and…”he was not capable of a relationship because his life was a mess…here I stepped in with the cool girl behavior…ok I understand…and I was there for him….when he returned exhausted form the oilfield…
he changed the lock on my door he was compassionat about my family and very interested…he fixed my car..my tv my pc….BUT….and in the bedroom he was 1 in a million….6 ft 3 looking liiiike a maaan…
I was (am( totally) crazy with him….put I pulled the plug…
I could not take him seeing me whenever he felt like it…but never having him totally and knowing …that one day he would say : wham bang thank you mam.
Now I do not know if I did the right thing ..but after he began on ADHD medicin he did not want to stay over but wanted to leave at 1 oclock at night.
I did not like that it made me feel bad because I needed him…I told him he ruinede my sex life (my life i meant) and he said “that it was enough for me”…
So I just wrote thks for fixing my pc and sleep tight…and he wrote back ” that it was the least he could do and your velcome and sleep well…
And since then we have not contacted each other….! Im not going to contact him …because he makes me unsure of myself and he leaves me…´
I miss him like hell…he was a mess but he was so good at the same time.
Its so painfull for me…and everybody says: RUN!
I have to close it.. but it hurts. he was good and he was bad …we had good times.
Well …thats it ..NeXT time because maybe there will be a next time a man says that he is not ready and bla bla bla…I will say “oh well but nice meeting you and bye bye.
The other man I was fond of before him was a narcissist…he had a beutifull house..three children (i never met) a luxury spa and sauna Things I did meet. We had a fun relation ship with him texting me for 2 years .When I meet Mr. Badnice…it was over….sitting with him in the spa.
Now…non of these men were interested in me as a wife…
Non of thes men could be married because the would drive a woman crazy in the long run.
But they were …intersting
Thursday I will date Mr. Qualitycasual…he has invited me out. He is looking for a quality woman..and not a relationship.
Well ..I need something to get my mind of Mr.Emotionelcrybaby
But at least I know who he is…in more than one way.So im not looking for at relationship with him…but he is fun he is intelligent..and I need Mr.entertainme ..so maybe he can help me smile a little …
PS I have written everything down!
I have one question for you Marni. Why do I not fall in love with men who fall in love with me?
I have one man who is in love with me..he is the nicest guy and Words and action fits ..there is not a thing he would not do for me…yet I only want him as a friend. I am not attracted to him thoug he is tall and good looking and has a good heart and I truly like talking with him…but I do not want to sleep with him. I want him as my good friend.
I had a relation with a good good man for 4 years…but I never fell in love with him…I could not…he did everything for me and lovede me..but he was emotionally flat (no ups no downs just ————the same) I could not love him back ?
But he deserved it!
Let me add that I was married to a man in 17 years ..and have to children. The only thing I want is a good man…I could never date nor fall for a married man …I acutually like the men I know and they like me..yet I dont play games …BUT …the men I want dont want me..the men I dont want ..do? What is wrong???
and Marni…you are doing a great job…opening our eyes..talking to our minds and to our Hearts.
I think its strange the differce there is in the way men are dating and the way women are dating?????
Hurt 1000 Times: There are good men out there, you just have to address whatever is inside of you that is attracting the not-so-good ones. Did you check out the Super Me 14-Day Challenge I spoke about in the videos? It will really help you figure out WHY you’re attracting these bad guys, and how to stop: http://datingwithdignity.com/shop/the-super-me-14-day-challenge/
Sandra: I can feel your positive energy coming through your post! Do your homework, keep learning and let me know when you meet your Mr. Boyfriend material – because I have a feeling he’s right around the corner. 🙂
Lareina: I love that: “it’s just a matter of time”. That kind of confident KNOWING and BELIEVING that your man is on the way is so powerful. And the fact that you had ONE Mr. Boyfriend Material – even though it didn’t work out – means that you’re now attracting high-quality men who are looking for a relationship. Congratulations!!
Colleen: Thank you so much for sharing your story with everyone here. I love that you know that you deserve better, and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to get it. I always say – awareness is the first step, and you are right there, sister. Now you have to transform your awareness into ACTION. How are you going to do that?
Herdis: It sounds like this man is responsive to your requests and needs as soon as he becomes aware of them, which is a GREAT sign. As long as the relationship keeps progressing and you’re happy, it sounds like you’re on a great path. If ever the relationship stops progressing and goes backwards for an extended period of time (like a month), then it may be time to have a curious conversation about what he thinks about the two of you. Good luck and keep me posted! Big hugs.
Sharon: His behavior is unsettling and off-putting, but not confusing. Leave him in the dust and move onto the next!! Trust me – something is weird here. Not sure what it is, but as I like to say: “Next!!”
Wow I think I have dated all those types of men,except the boyfriend material.I met this guy 3 months ago we started chatting,he seemed lovely,gave me his home no and said I cud call anytime atfer 8 which is when he was free,I starting calling and for one mth we chatted everyday for hours,if he was not gonna be home he bbm and told me,I thought wow finally a gud guy who seemed to want the same things as me,Then one friday I called after 8 he was not home so I called his cell,he answered I say hi,are u busy he said yes with my friends,so I only asked why did he nt bbm to say he was not home,he got upset,ignored me the entire weekend,with no reason why,I bbm ,called he eventually put his phone off,I tried one more time on sunday nite and he replied and said I sounded sarcastic when I spk to him dat friday and was behaving just like his ex,he backed off we chatted I apologised and then realised he was no longer interested so I asked him and he said he dnt like woman thinking they own him,eventually we decided to end the friendship he deleted me off bbm so quick,but stil has me on fbk,not sure why,please tell me what kind of a guy u think he is,I really liked him,thought he wil be the one,did I
do sumthing wrong,im stil confused at his behaviour.
Hey Marni! This was so interesting!:) I can say though that I don´t always fall for the same type. Have fallen for both the Hunter and The Quality casual type, but never ever a cry-baby! Have often met men on dating-sites that ARE ready, but then I myself have not been interested in them. Right now I´m dating a man that actually has some of those qualities you mentioned; he is not ready for a committed rel. He hasn´t said it directly, but he had a very bad divorce a year ago and is still a little afraid. BUT: our relationship is slowly changing to the better. We have been dating now for a couple of months, appr. once a week. I asked in an early stage if we are exclusive and he said yes to that. I asked him 2 weeks ago what he thought about meeting more often. He thought that was a good idea, so now we meet twice a week. 🙂
He is very busy at work, and has some other problems conc. his family, so there IS actually a lot he´s dealing with at the moment, so yes, I am not the 1. priority. But he feels very good together with me, and I can see and feel his growing feelings towards me. So, I am patient for the moment, want to give it some time, see if he´s coming around more and more, or not. I´m not in a rush into a settled rel. and think that meeting 2-3 times a week would be just fine right now, but a committed rel. is what I´d want eventually.
Thank you for sharing the information in this series– it’s been eye-opening. Looking back, I’ve encountered many of the “Manimal” species, but I seem to specialize in the narcissistic ‘Crybaby’.
I was married for 23 years to a workaholic, self-involved lawyer/politician, who never made time for me or our 4 children. Outwardly, he looks like a success, but on the inside he was always a fragile, needy mess. He had an abusive alcoholic mother and an absent traveling salesman for a father growing up. Before I married him, I lived with a guy for 3 years (and almost married) who also– surprise, surprise– was the son of an abusive alcoholic mother and an absent traveling salesman father!
I used to joke that I must have been wearing a big neon sign that said, “Are you a messed-up emotionally distant guy with mother issues? Then I’m your girl!”. How else could I have attracted and gotten involved with 2 men in a row with the same pathologies?
Well, after seeing these videos, I guess that I was. I’ve spent nearly half my life as your stereotypical crumb-taking ‘good girl’ who’s always trying to ‘be nice’ and put other people and their feelings first. I’ve learned the hard way that these ‘fragile’ souls tend to be so concerned with protecting their own tender feelings that they will brutally step all over you and crush yours, without a second thought.
I’m really tired of being in this cycle, and know that I deserve better. i know that I’m a good person with a lot to offer the right man, and I’m tired of having my generous nature and forgiving attitude be a magnet for users, instead of seen as an asset to the good men that I know are out there.
A big part of that journey is raising my own self-esteem; I’m still kicking myself for putting up with letting myself be treated like an afterthought for so long. But knowing that I deserve better is one thing; I still don’t feel it yet, deep down, as a core belief yet. That’s what I need to work on– as well as developing a more refined ‘picker’– because I’m NOT signing up for another broken ‘Crybaby’ again!
Thank you, Marni, for the work that you do and for putting this out there, so that we can educate ourselves and start to make better choices, and move towards that great life of love and abundance that we all deserve.
I think I mostly attract the hunters or Mr. Elusives. Most recently though I am happy to say I dated a boyfriend material man for sure. It didn’t work out in the end because I broke it off (this time tusting my gut – something was telling me that this is not my husband). It felt very scary to do this at first but I feel at peace with my decision. I feel so, so, so greatful for this boyfriend material experience because now it shows me how a realtionship is suppose to feel. I felt safe and secure and the relationship wasn’t consuming my life ….like it always does when I’m dating the hunters, elusives, etc. I am going to hold onto my vision that I want to be a wife and a mother. No man is worth giving up this dream for. I know my husband is on his way to me because I am anchored to this vision. It’s just a matter of time….
Hehehe, I listened to you and I thought Oh, my God Marni was spying me!!! I used to attract crying babies, unavailable men, (I posted yesterday the incredible messages I received from married or separated men, but not only that, I had a relationship with a divorded man but still married -I mean he used to have holidays with her and their boys!!!- when I entered on scene he stop those activities, but it was a night mare, his family always invited her to their family parties and finally he didn´t fight with them for me to be with him) and finally he was so jealous and insecure that when I started working at my actual job and one day simply he said some one had carried me home and spoke to me any more (it was not true but he said so and no word any more)!!! I used to de the “cool girl” and worst, I used to have a geisha girl mentality. Thank you Marni for all your help, I have some homework to do and attract a good, available, free, mature, gentle, prosperous, gorgeous man
I think I have dated everyone of these men… Often a combination in one man. I cant seem to find the good guys… I am tring to change dating patterns trying to date people whom i normally would not date. I have only found little boys whom are not men. I know part of the reason is becuase i put out there this I am independent strong woman vibe but really im lookign to hand over the rains when out of teh workforce adn when on dates or with a man let him lead. It woudl be nice for a change. I have issue with trusting that i can rely on them however. Will they really lead will they be responsible enough to folllow or will i be left cleanign up a mess. I am grateful i have learned to spot the player and the little boys looking for me to take care of them, and walk away. Before i would have been dating them for a while and been left hurt and empty from all the taking that they do. Still looking for a “GOOD” guy. Hoping there is one out there.
Thankyou thankyou, thankyou.
Just what I needed to hear.
I’ve been dating a hunter. Now I know
What to do about it.
My vision is a long term committed
Relationship. He is afraid of a committed
Relationship. Iwas about ready to fall for
His line again. I’m so glad I listened to
This video. Can’t stand to get hurt anymore.
Marni, you’re the best, now everything is clear to me..I got out of a relationship with a quality casual man last December..and I was somewhat confused why it did not work..now I know why…he told me what Mr quality casual would say but I did not believe him..
Karen: Oh, yes, the alluring, charismatic and dangerous hunter!!! I am quite familiar. The best changes always start slow, so just be patient with yourself, and when you hear the disclaimer, do not pass go – hightail it outta there! That will be your first test on your way to Mr. Right. Just stay on that path and you’ll meet your guy in no time!
I usually am attracted to the hunter. The guy that flirts with EVERYONE, (including me). They make me feel like a queen, because they are paying attention to me. Then, when I hear the disclaimer, I tell myself that I was dreaming, thinking someone like that would actually want me as a girl friend, but hey … as long as they will keep me as a friend, I’ll stick around and pick up the crumbs!! My behavior change will probably start slow, as in not accepting those last minute invites to dinner and hopefully move on so I can tell them that I really am looking fora relationship with a guy that is READY to be in a relationship!
Cassandra: I’m so happy to hear that the timing couldn’t be better! And yes – just say no to crybabies and quasi-relationships! Haha – you deserve an amazing boyfriend who gives AND receives – not just a taker. Love this breakthrough!!
Your free videos are really coming at a great time for me! I’m using your advice to pull me out of my mind fog because due to the fact that I’m in a bit of a trapped position studying from home, unable to get out and also not enjoying my studies, that I’ve hung around on facebook a lot looking for company and end up developing these quasi intimate friendships with other lonely crybaby guys on facebook. Lately I’ve gotten pretty strung out on this bad boy biker guy who is a MAJOR crybaby brooding over all his failed relationships and who totally sucked my into his poetry filled world of torture about past terrible exes. And like you say, I kept thinking if I could show him that I’m the right, kind compassionate girl he’s looking for he would love me back but that never happened. Its just all about him! So I’m saying a HUGE NO to any intimate facebook friendships and running a mile from brokenhearted poetry writers! Yay! 😀
Brigitte: This is a GREAT question. Basically, you have to be a little bit of a detective and data date. Before you fall too quickly, look to make sure his words and actions match – ALWAYS. For example, does he call when he says he’s going to call? Or if he says he’s going to do something, does he always follow through? Also, check out this article and read up on Mr. Boyfriend Material. If your guy has these qualities, chances are he is looking for the same thing you are. If not, then you know what to do!
Isabella: Wow – what a break through. YOU are why I do this. Continue to stand in your truth and you WILL find Mr. Boyfriend Material in no time!!
Trisha: Honestly, if you’ve attracted four crybabies, I’d take the D-Factor Assessment. It will tell you WHY you’re attracting them and how to stop. Four in a row is no coincidence – we have to get to the bottom of this!!
Sounds like I am attracting crybabies…no problem getting men to commit though, I’ve been married (ugh and divorced) 4 times. I always leave because these guys SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF ME! How can I stop attracting these guys?? My plan is to focus on learning to receive, saying “hello” to my feminine energy.
I can see a Hunter and crybaby. Now I’m dating Mr. Elusive, I really like that hes so honest but he won’t comment, he’s wants his space(too much) then I want. Seeing this video gives me the courage to break it off, I know what I want and me dating him isn’t going to go anywhere especially when he leaves then comes back and goes agian. I fall into this rut when I know he’s not the one for me but I don’t leave and I still try and try because I don’t want to be another girl that hurts him. I know what I want thank you for giving such great information:)
Great video and great advice, thank you so much. I dated a quality casual for quite a while, before he walked away. Although I made it clear before we got involved that I am (I talked about this in a general sort of way, not directed at him specifically) looking for a committed relationship, which would eventually lead to living together and getting married. He didn’t actually let me know that he’s not interested in that. So I got involved with him and it ended in heartbreak. My question to you is how can I find out, if he really wants a committed relationship that has a future? Many thanks. Brigitte
Hi Tijana – I like where you’re going with this plan, just remember to frame it like this: “I’m at a place in my life where I’m looking for something more committed/serious/long term. It’s completely fine if that’s not where you are right now, but that’s what I’m looking for out of a relationship right now” Make sense? BIG hugs and good luck! Marni
I usually attract hunters , disclaimers. Nex time when I meet him I will ask them openly what they plan, how they see their life in a year and I will tell them what I want, what I plan and if it doesn`t match I will leave.
I sent you an email to your private email address…. Yes, it’s Gloria from your CCB3 class….