Podcast: Dating Den Episode 83 — With Sherrie Toews: Always Meeting the Same Wrong Guy? Find Out if This Hidden Issue is the Reason Why
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Are you smart and successful in every part of your life, yet you have no luck when it comes to men…
Do you wonder why you keep attracting the SAME wrong guy, he just has a different face…?
By now I’m sure you know the deal…
The common denominator in all your relationships, is you.
Something you’re doing is bringing these wrong guys to you, and until you fix it, it’s going to keep happening.
It’s a cycle. A pattern.
Lucky for you, today I have a genuine rock star in the Dating Den…
Sherrie Toews is a friend, a mentor and one of the best coaches I’ve ever met. She has been a licensed therapist in California for 25 years and is a master architect of rewiring the brain.
Sherrie works with me on the elite program, 5 Keys to Being Irresistible. She helps women that are stuck in negative patterns and creates the blueprint for them to break through and change their life.
Why Are We Addicted to Drama? [3:50]
At the root of being addicted to drama are deep-seated fears and insecurities from childhood. What didn’t go well for you in childhood created your current self-limiting beliefs. Maybe you developed a tolerance for chaos but it still makes you feel emotionally unsafe. In a relationship this shows up when you overreact to normal fears, or bumps, in a relationship.
You can take back control of your life!
How to Overcome the Addiction [10:52]
Our brains fire chemical impulses constantly but the brain doesn’t recognize the difference in bad stimulation and good stimulation. To the brain, any stimulation is good stimulation. If you grew up in a chaotic environment your brain got wired to want the chaos.
When the brain is craving stimulation it will text, call or go see the person you know you shouldn’t.
3 Ways to Up Your Self-Esteem and Retrain Your Brain:
Replace limiting beliefs with empowered beliefs.
Re-learn what a healthy relationship looks like.
Retrain your nervous system to recognize you are emotionally safe.
Get used to feeling grounded and safe!
Signs You Are Addicted to Drama [17:07]
The brain wants its next hit of Cortisol or Adrenaline so you will create an environment where it is likely to get it. If you relate to doing any of the things on the list below you may be addicted to drama.
Arguing and then feeling relief afterward
You feel empty or lost without your guy
You jump to conclusions
You don’t know when enough is enough
Blaming or demonizing your guy
Being hypercritical or hyper-aware
The emotional rollercoaster is exhausting but you don’t have any frame of reference of a good relationship.
Create Your Own Emotional Safety Everyday [25:55]
Do you look to men to make you feel safe? Someone else can’t make you feel emotionally safe or good enough. It is time to heal those wounds and build trust within yourself. You are worthy of love and respect!
Take control of your love life.