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Do you hang on to the jerks because you’re not sure if you are really lovable?
If Mr. Nice Guy comes along are you afraid you will screw it up like all the other relationships you’ve had?
In this episode, Marni coaches Sarah from Texas. Sarah has been a serial monogamist for a while, but learns how she can become a long-term girlfriend with a new guy she just met.
Sorting Through the Past [3:04]
Sarah admits to having a knack for finding assholes but recently she has come upon Mr. Nice Guy. Marni shows her how to to move forward by unpacking the past. Sarah felt a connection with the last jerk she met, but it was a connection through humor, which reminded her of her dad. When she ‘confronted’ him about her wants and needs he made it clear he didn’t share her values.
Words have energy and we choose the words we say unconsciously.
The Future [21:22]
Sarah needs to forget about her history and her previous stories about herself. She has been reacting rather than responding. She should determine what she needs and what she wants, then ask her date higher quality questions which will reveal to her the answers that really matter.
The New Guy [24:42]
Sarah is afraid she is going to screw things up with the new guy because she has grown so accustomed to failed relationships. She also feels unlovable which may be bleeding through into her actions. Once she realizes there is nothing to fuck up, she should practice receiving his attention, his time and his kindness.
Sarah’s homework is to practice receiving love and to turn up her love limit. Every day she needs to spend two minutes imagining herself receiving love as a Gold Child – her ideal, authentic love-able self.
You can have chemistry with people who are bad for you.