People who are in relationships seem to be more interested in their single friends’ dating lives than their own. With their “interest” in your love life also comes the most annoying and predictable comments, such as “You’re a total catch; I don’t understand why you’re still single.”
And that, of course, leaves you thinking, “Well, THANKS. If I understood why I was still single, we wouldn’t be having this talk.”
First things first: There is NOTHING wrong with being single, so don’t let your Debbie Downer friend tell you any differently.
Secondly, when someone asks you a dumb or rhetorical question about your love life, it’s absolutely okay to make them regret (a little) even asking. Let’s go through a few scenarios when being witty and “lovingly sarcastic” could put a stop to the endless pestering.
1. “It’ll happen when you least expect it.”
Well… not really. Let’s put it this way: You’re just as likely to meet your perfect match during a Starbucks run on Sunday as you are in “da club” on Saturday night. Kindly let them know that you’re going to continue living your life as you were and look forward to meeting the right person in being the right person.
2. “Don’t you ever get lonely?” (The answer is yes.)
We all get lonely, but I’d take lonely over miserable in a relationship any day. And you can reply with, “Of course! Why do you think I’m hanging out with you?” And take it from us: being alone is WAY better than being miserable lying next to a man each night who you doesn’t love you or no longer meets your needs.
3. “Aren’t you worried you won’t be able to have kids?”
If celebrities well into their 40s are still having babies, then there’s a pretty good chance you can as well. Tell your overbearing friend that they’re your lady parts, and you get to pick the place and time to bear a child.
4. “You should try online dating.”
When your friend perks up and excitedly reminds you that there’s this new thing called online dating, you can kindly tell her to buzz off. We’ve ALL tried online dating. If you like it, you’re probably still using it; and if you didn’t, then you don’t need to be reminded. Perhaps you could even ask if your friend would be up for snapping a few photos of you during the upcoming holiday season to use as a profile pic!
5. “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”
Sure there are! However, it’ll take about 10 bad dates to have one that you would consider for date number two. More fish doesn’t always equal a better chance. Maybe consider telling your friend that the phrase hasn’t been popular since the ‘70s. And, what a great time to ask for a fix-up!
6. “You’re just too picky.”
There’s a difference between knowing what you want in a person and being nit-picky because you’re trying to find something wrong with someone. (On the other hand, if your date doesn’t make over $100K a year and you’d be willing to ditch your date due to lack of funds, you may need to review your non-negotiables. Consider flipping the conversation around and asking what it was that made your friend attracted to her guy.)
7. “You should let me set you up… ”
Listen: Unless you’re hand-delivering Gerard Butler, a bottle of wine, and The Notebook on Blu-ray, let’s save that set up for your niece. Some blind dates work out; but when a blind date goes bad, you have to be creative to get yourself outta there. A simple “no thank you” works for that one. Sometimes it’s fun to have a friend bring someone they want you to meet in a group setting, so try suggesting a lower-pressure activity if they really want you to meet someone.
It’s important to keep a positive outlook on being single and having faith that you will, at some point, meet a companion or spouse. Since everyone seems to be so concerned with your love life (more so than you), it’s time to get creative with your responses to the generic questions your grandma has asked you 20 times. Happy dating!