Finding “The One”: Why It Isn’t (And Shouldn’t Be) Easy

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I blame romantic comedies for planting the idea that finding your wonderful and perfect soulmate is as easy as reaching for the same loaf of bread at the grocery store, locking eyes from across a crowded room, or unwittingly falling for your dastardly yet handsome work adversary.

These stories aren’t unheard of as ways to meet potential prospects in the real world. But if finding THE one were as simple and straightforward as these romanticized chance meetings, I’d be out of business.

Business matters aside, we should all be thankful that finding a husband isn’t that easy. As frustrating and desperate as it can feel at times, selecting the person you’re going to share your life with should require more discerning thought than most any other decision you make in your life. It is the rest of your life, after all. Here are two simple reasons why.

Forever Means Forever
Lovebirds embarking on an exhilarating new relationship don’t always fully grasp what “forever” really means. Forever means sticking together through everything life throws at you, from the big (like having kids, losing loved ones, cross-country moves) to the small (aging, gaining weight, illnesses, those really, really bad days).

Your world might be peachy keen six months in, but being able to project how your relationship will withstand more serious hurdles that will come your way in 10, 30, or even 60 years requires developing a deep sense of your mate’s character… AND what qualities you’ll need in your relationship both now and later to be fulfilled and happy. You get only one life, and you should spend it with someone who not only supports you through those hard times but will inspire you to live it as the best version of yourself.

You Deserve It
Couples who rush to the altar often do so because they feel like they’re running out of time or they don’t think they can land anyone better than the one they’ve got at the moment. We can all agree that sharing a life with someone you love makes every experience richer, but what good is a marriage if the person you’re with doesn’t fully appreciate or bring out the best in you?

No matter what your past relationships have ingrained in you, you deserve a lasting and uplifting love and shouldn’t settle until you find it. There are loads of sweet talkers out there who can put on a pretty good show for a while, so it’s worth investing the time, effort, and thought to determine if it’s the “real deal.”