Apparently it’s been biologically and culturally programmed into us that men our age or older are the only viable dating options that exist. I see confident, smart women regularly dismiss younger men for being too immature or not ready for commitment before even getting to know them, and then lament in the same breath that there are “no good guys out there” to date.
While I think opening yourself up to the option of dating someone younger definitely widens the dating pool and could very well change your life for the better, it’s not for everyone. To help you figure out if this option would be in your best interest, here are three questions to ask yourself before heading to Cougartown.
1. Were you recently scarred by a failed relationship?
If you find yourself permanently jaded after a nasty breakup, you’ll likely find that by being the older partner in your next relationship, you’ll have more control than you have experienced in past relationships. As with any other relationship that ends, I encourage you to allow time to recover before jumping into something new. Remember, the best way to get over someone is NOT to get “under” someone else. That said, once you’re ready and meet the right person, this new-found power could undoubtedly boost your self-esteem and put your failed relationship in the past.
2. Have you been in a rut lately?
While some women fret that a generational gap equals completely different interests and hobbies, I happen to think that is one of the wonderful things about being involved with someone younger! Getting out of your comfort zone with someone young and energetic can be just the refresh you need. He’ll introduce you to new activities you may never have tried otherwise, and including him in some of the things you like to do will allow you to see him through new eyes.
Most important, when you’re dating someone younger, get to know if you have shared values. Common values often have less to do with the date of your birth and instead are based on shared dreams, goals and way of being. For example, there are just as many men over 40 who do not value family as there are men under the age of 40 who share your desire for establishing a strong, connected family.
3. Is your increasing age getting you down?
If you find the insecurity that plagues many of us as we age is nagging at you so much that it’s bringing you down in other aspects of your life, a youthful significant other can help to reverse those feelings. Think about it: many younger men spent puberty fantasizing about models and actresses, all of whom were many years older than them, so they’ve grown up fascinated by the mystique of being with an older woman. Spending time with an attractive young man who views your age as a sexy asset that translates to experience, confidence, and a better sense of self, may help you embrace it yourself!