Dating in your 40s or later can be complicated. People get divorced, have kids, accumulate debt, and, well, let’s just say that we all have baggage. Some of us would even say we’re “set in our ways.”
While there are plenty of single people under 40 who may not be well equipped and ready to date, sometimes it feels like the older you are, the fewer options you have–and, thus, the harder it is to meet a quality partner. However, dating in your 40s can actually be easier because people in this age range can, in fact, be more decisive.
People are less likely to change major things in their lives after 40, and they’re wise enough to know what they want and what they don’t want. As a result, it can become easier to weed out the people who aren’t a match for you. Keeping the right attitude, reminding yourself that dating and finding relationship is a process, and making the right choices (e.g., not repeating the mistakes you may have made in the past) will help you on your way to a successful dating experience.
Give online dating a chance. It really does work!
Online dating websites have succeeded in becoming the best way to meet people en masse. Whether you’re career-oriented or a single parent, many people don’t have the time to have drinks after work with friends or sit for hours at Starbucks in hopes they’ll casually meet someone attractive and like-minded. In fact, the majority of single people over the age of 25 have dating profiles posted online with the hope of meeting their counterpart.
Signing up for multiple dating websites or specialty websites may speed up the “in person” dating process, plus it’ll give you practice with flirting, texting, instant messaging and other 21st century dating strategies that may not be your forte.
Don’t compromise on your wants and needs.
Don’t settle! Take your time and carefully choose the people with whom you could potentially go on dates. There’s no need to rush into dating someone just because you don’t want to be single.
Further, you’re not obligated to meet anyone who doesn’t seem like a good fit. Think about all the people you’ve dated in your lifetime and remember that building relationships takes time. Online dating may take some time to “pay off,” but it’s all worth it in the end. It’s often frustrating due to a lack of single people in your friend circle or your local hangouts. That said…
Hang out in the RIGHT places.
If you’re interested in dating like-minded people, hang out in places you love! It’s simple, but far too often people choose to spend time outside their comfort zone, therefore meeting people who may not have similar interests. If you decided to hang out at clubs and bars, generally there’s a younger crowd who have a completely different mindset than you may. If you’re passionate about art, books or movies, try to get yourself involved in future events, cocktail parties or book clubs.
Don’t date TOO young.
This rule goes for both sexes. A 20 year (your junior) date is most likely based on just physical attraction. Without common interests, values, goals, and mental and physical attraction, dating someone long-term is hopeless. Look for people who are closer to your age and have the same interests as you. By hanging around places with people closer to your age, you’re setting up yourself for a better dating experience.
Remind yourself that sexual attraction is still important, but romance is forever.
You still have at least 30 more years of sex in your lifetime (if you want to)! Making decisions based on just physical attraction can make dating more complicated in the long run. Looks unfortunately fade, but a real attraction and strong romantic bond can be forever. It’s important to look for people you’re attracted to; but more importantly, you want them to be romantic and like-minded so that when the sex fades, you’re still in the relationship because you love and enjoy your spouse.