Using a Dating Expert’s Advice: Taking Concrete Steps to Reinventing Yourself

Living the loving life with the love of his life!

Before coming to Dating Expert Marni Batista, James Mitchell suffered with shyness. From a fear of raising his hand in class as a child to a fear of approaching women as a man, he had been through all the stages of shy behavior. In his search for love, Online Dating was his safety net. He felt secure enough to talk to women from the safe confines of his own home, but expected very little from live interactions. James felt stuck, moving from one inconsequential online-born relationship to another, and he felt incapable of getting un-stuck. He was buying into his own excuses (there’s no one in LA for me, there’s too much superficiality here, etc).

So rather than looking for simple tips to picking up women, James came to dating expert Marni with the idea of reinventing himself. The outlook instilled within him since his childhood had been “everything that happens will happen for the worse.” He knew he had to change this if he wanted to start giving himself opportunities to be happy. “Expect the best, but be ready for the worst.” This was concrete, an achievable goal. He knew he couldn’t expect to change himself completely into a brand new man, but at least he could change the way he perceived the occurrences and situations in his life. Instead of interpreting events in the worst light possible, he would be able to see them all in a grander scale. One relationship may not work out, but that’s not necessarily his fault–he began to understand.

With Marni’s help, James ‘re-crafted’ himself to become the host and leader he wanted to be. Through various social outlets, he became known as an organizer, a guy that both men and women alike could look to for entertainment and fun. He began to pursue his personal dreams in life: he focused on doing the things he loved and bought a yacht (a lifelong dream!). Then, one night, as he hosted his favorite DJ at an LA nightclub, he met the friend of a friend that would become his wife. By concentrating on doing the things he loved, he had met the love of his life!

James’ romantic happiness came from one of Marni’s simple pieces of advice: “Do the things you love and be in the environment that makes you happy and you’ll meet people of the same interests.” And as James smartly points out that it’s not the advice that gets you where you want, but your consistency and belief in that advice. He wasn’t stubborn with his preconceived negative convictions (“I’m not the type of guy women want,” “It’ll all end up bad eventually,” etc), so he was able to reinvent himself into the man happily-married today!

Identify What’s Holding You Back From Social Success and Love!

James’ success story is a great illustration: in order to get different results in his social and love life, he had to reinvent himself from within. And for us goal-oriented people, we don’t want to waste our time reading books that aren’t relevant to the change we want to make. We want results and we want them fast. We need access to the informed outside opinion and we desire to know what it’s going to take to attract the kind of mate we truly want!